Hello everyone,
I'm curious if anyone else experiences this, someone I know will have an amazing time while tripping, so amazing that he wishes he could share this gift from the gods with everyone in his life so they can feel what its like to feel.

The depression for this person, depending on how high of a dosage (key factor), normally sparks up on day two after the experience. The problem this person has is reintegration, he becomes so sad, he gets so sad because he feels like people are missing out in an undescribed way.

Reintegration for this person is very hard, he feels like a man with vision living amongst a population of blind people.

The hardest thing for him is that he can see pain in peoples faces, he can feel, he can see the pain in these people. He wants to reach into there soul and let them see even if he knows this is useless. You can't force someone to see, when they them selves have no desire to see.

He just wishes he could help these people...

Dose anyone else have a hard time reintegrating into normalcy
Also does it become harder as you increase the dosage?

Gets better over time. Gotta quit worryin' 'bout others' happiness. That's the only way I found happiness after watching so many people sit and complain about how miserable they are... yet... dooooo....... NOTHING! lol.

You can lead a horse to water, but yah can't make it drink. If that horse wants to lay down and die, let it. Drink the water, that it refused, and start walking. Cause... a dead horse ain't gonna take you out of the heat. It's gonna bloat, swell, smell like shit.... and then here come the vultures.

So, yes. And no. I used to feel butt-hurt when others are unhappy with their self-imposed condition. I'm tired of yelling, "Drink!!!" at a dead horse. I have legs. Plus, there are other pastures.... other horses. Some horses have been waiting for this opportunity their whole life.

I mean, if you wanna be unhappy about them being unhappy... are YOU happy? Maybe work on you, first. Let the horses that refuse to drink die. Then, the next time a miserable horse complains that it "takes to much effort to lower my head and drink this water...." why don't you point to all the old horse skeletons and say, "....yeah, i understand. They said the same thing..." turn around and start walking. Leave a live horse to sit among the dead and decide for itself. If it's alive when you bring the next horse - don't even talk to it. If it's still sitting there by the time you have come back, then it's still waiting to die. It has legs, it has water, if it complains that it has no food.... that's not your problem.



ACY

And, yes, stay out of their heads. Even IF you COULD go "in".... it only backfires. I'm not going to bother explaining. You probably have seen it. If you TRY to WILL them to do something, then they do the opposite.

Wanna know a short story?

My friend, I care about him very much. He was homeless. It was when i'd just found out some medical news, and I was afraid. I wanted to help him, so I invited him to live with me until he could get his shit together. I had 3 rules. 1) don't go in the locked room. 2) no hard drugs - cannabis is fine. 3) "IF you WANT to trip, tell me - I'll either make it as comfortable as possible, or i'll even dose WITH you."

That was it. Three rules. Everything else was his, as it was mine. Well... eventually rule 3 was broken. That hurt the most. I would have dealt with rule 1 or rule 2. Fine- i get it. Curiosity of a locked room... yeah i get it. Wanting to escape by using an opiate - i get it. I did not understand why in the world the easiest rule was the one that he broke. When i realized it, i confronted him. I saw everything in his face... he lied. I politely said, "hey fuck you - you need to go."

I didn't give up. I just GAVE him THE gift. The gift to choose. I didn't even stop communicating with him - I just told him that I needed time. 2 weeks later, he called me, crying, and he owned up to his mistake. He admitted it and apologized. Did i hold it against him? No. That's all I wanted. Trust. Honesty. I love him ENOUGH to say, "fuck you..." if i didn't, who would? Everyone else just enabled him or preached at him.

That was back in December. He lived in the woods until 4 days ago. A few times a week, i'd go visit him and bring him food or clothes. I gave him clothes for interviews, i paid for a hotel room so he could have a shower before interviews. I drained my savings trying to get him on his feet. I ran out of "stuff" that I could offer. I lost my jobs when i graduated (worked for the university as a student worker) - i have no money. I used a lot of it trying to put band-aids on his boo-boo. So, eventually.... i just stopped. I turned around and walked away. "Figure it out, buddy."

He has had a job for a little over a month. He's got more money than me (hahahahahahahaha) and when I asked if he knew anyone who wanted to buy my piss-toll, he offered to give me money.

Some times, yah gotta say the hard thing, "fuck you, go figure it out."

Me? I'm happy. Money is not my source of happiness. I'm happier that HE found HIS OWN happiness. I don't really have money... but, i said - i want to go back to school for my PhD. That would make me happy. And FUCK trying to find some miserable job due to societies expectations. So... i ran all the way out... and then it happened. I said, "I'll go back to school, but I want to be a wood-worker, first. I want to build some things." (My dad was a carpenter and his dad was a carpenter and his dad was a carpenter and his... i dunno how long our lineage goes back.)

So, I started building. Then, people liked what I build and said - "if you build this for me, I'll give you money." SO! I'm happy! I don't have much, but i've got what i need. My house is paid off... (I started a business, once.) I have a beautiful wife (who keeps telling me to get a "real job" - I am a "chemist" according to my duh'gree). I have some genuine friends. What else do I need? Nothing. I need nothing. Everything from here on out, for me, is no longer survival. I am happy.

Thanks very much, you are absolutely right, he needs to work more on himself before he trys to help others. He has an insane amount of energy after a nice trip into the void and your right, he needs to channel that into his own life insded of thinking about others problems.

Its truly strange though because he is so detached from his body that he really dosn't care about his life, epelipsy being the main branch of this thought tree. He feels like the only thing he can do with the time he has here is to help people. Show them the way, you are right about people not helping them selves but...idk man..most of these people don't understand..and your right..they have no wish to understand...but..still..idk..


My conclution, thanks to your words, is that he needs to focus on things that he can change and try to accept things he can't.


He just has so much energy, so much love after tripping that he just wants to give it away to everyone he meets. He wishes he could show people how to feel. Foolesh. yes. He is but a young traveler and your words have helped me very much, thanks again man.

Don't take my words as "right." Do what feels right in your heart. I'm going through my own phase, right now. I once thought i would only be happy if others are happy. It's not the case, for me.

Also, i added a true story to my original reply. This person, of my non-family, i consider one of my best friends.



Take your time, brother. It does get better.

Your story is very kind, allowing someone into your home is a very big thing man, seriously. May I ask why you didn't want him to trip without your consent?


After typing this all out, I've realized that perhaps I'm covering up depression in some sense by trying to find fault in my surrounding when the real pain is within.


I become sad because, to me the psychedelic experience resets our cosmic energy as I call it. My sadness is that most people go there entire life's without ever having a cosmic reset, perhaps they do in other ways, dreams I guess..idk..lets not get into that. The sadness is not from people not helping themselves man. Its the fact that most people WILL never get to experience this, they never get to feel.. not because they don't want to, because they are incapable of thinking out side of the society matrix. Fear? perhaps

I wanted to trip with him. I wanted to share an experience. Without consent is fine on his own time. But, he was on a destructive path, doing it for reasons that were not healthy. If he wanted to share the experience with me, all he had to do was ask. I wanted to share with him... but, he needed to figure out on his own...

Consent is important. Would you want someone doing something against your consent? I should add, when he started tripping - he got very combative, semi-hostile, and then almost knocked the coffee table over... his words, that night, were repulsive - to the point that my own wife felt uncomfortable. That's not fair for her.

And, another thing - i thought it was bit rude to come to someone's home and accept their offerings, yet refuse to share something very special. Maybe that was exactly what he and I needed.


How long have you been exploring psychedelics? Sometimes, there are great burdens that come with such great gifts. The gift/burden would not have been handed to "just anyone." You have a heart similar to mine.

For me, it took(is taking) years of integration. I kept piling on more, thinking that more was better. The more complex it is... the better, right? Sometimes.

Eventually, I took a 2 year break. That was hard, too. I felt terribly misunderstood and it STILL is very difficult to have a conversation with people. I start rambling about the mysteries of the universe while they are concerned with "did you see what John said about Ted on facebook??" .... "no, but hey - what do you think about the concept of a binary(infinite) photon model as we move forward in the understanding of the quantum world??"..... "that's not what John said about Ted, on facebook. Sally is such a drama queen...."

"Oh. Ok then...."

Also... should you and a horse make a long journey to a watering hole - if the horse says, "this was a long journey. I'm tired, my legs hurt, my neck is stiff... I want to drink the water. Do you mind bringing the first sip to my lips? I just need a taste and I need a little help." Then don't turn around and walk away. Reach down, bring the water to their lips, give them a taste... then begin fishing while they are deciding whether to drink or not. Because you know what happens next, right?..... if you give a horse a fish... and he'll look at you like you're crazy and say, "Ney!!!!! I want HAY!" LOLOL. Errr.... i mean... give a horse a fish and you'll feed him that day. Teach him to fish, you gave him the choice.

[/quote] I wanted to trip with him. I wanted to share an experience. Without consent is fine on his own time. But, he was on a destructive path, doing it for reasons that were not healthy. If he wanted to share the experience with me, all he had to do was ask. I wanted to share with him... but, he needed to figure out on his own...
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I understand and I see your point about consent, he was in your home.

My introduction into the psychedelics started in a very odd way. First it all started with cannabis, the first time I smoked cannabis I had a mild trip, I felt like I was flowing with the music and my body. After this experience I became obsessed with this feeling and naturally my curiosity led me to mushrooms. This is the part when things got very strange for me it was like I had been chosen to experience this, it sounds odd but because of the way it happen...It happened like this, I had a great deal of curiosity and I began to think about it more and more. At some point at my job I mentioned to someone that I wanted to try mushrooms, Later on, maybe a week (idk the time frame) Someone I worked with came up to me and said, I heard you were interested in trying mushrooms? if so I have someone you should meet. Then he introduced me to someone else I was working with whom grew mushrooms at one point and had some to sell to me. I bought the mushroom powder from him.

My first trip was a testing of the waters type thing, I wanted to get a feel for it, So i took 2gs. Ok, very much enjoyed this, OK lets try it again. By this point in my life i had found Terrence Mckenna. My next trip was 9.5gs, i went from a light body high to a complete ego death, the trip was so powerful that i can only remember the breakthrough, I poped into heaven and the last thing i can recall is "HOW DID HE GET IN HERE", i can also recall the feeling of letting go, i recall saying to myself "im dead", and it was the greatest thing..in my whole life.

After having this dose i felt that i was somehow ready to try dmt, so i did, I was regected immediatly, with good reason, I was very young and in no way shape or forum ready to handle this, even though i thought i was at the time ( I wasn't), I beleave the mushroom was very gentle with me, dmt is not as gentle.

I had one more mushroom trip before it all fell apart for me, I was on a very odd path, for the longest time I wanted to be Hunter S. Tompson, i should say Roul Duke lol. Anyway i thought I could be this guy who was high as fuck out of his mind but still able to have a normal life, what a fool I was.

Again in this very strange way, LSD found its way into my life. I triped twice, Had a great trip. HOWEVER from my point of few, the after glow of LSD is not fun when you work a "normal" job. The combination of an ego death before I was ready and also the hard after glow of lsd put me into a complete state of scisafrana. My ego changed everything to seem asthough everyone was out to get me in some way. It took me years to get myself out of this, honestly I've only recently come back around to a state of acceptance, zin. Oddly enough..cannabis healed me..lol I'll stop now, I can keep going about all the strange things that have happen and still happen to me lol, it's fun..odd..but fun.

I'll end with this, this movie is my life thus far. Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle . lsd being the tiger in relation to my life...strangeness in every direction.

In my humble oppinion two things are going on here.

First those feelings are normal because the fact is that the dmt trip is something that is a complete game changer. Once you understand there are other realms the game we play on Earth must chanhe for the individual.

But then what happens is that we as humans have a real problem with psychological scripts. (And this is my take on it and not truth...at least I am not sure it be truth as of yet.) Script analysis at the individual level considers that 'from the early transactions between mother, father and child, a life plan evolves. This is called the script...or unconscious life plan.' Scripts are the bigger picture. First come strokes, which is the unit of meassure for validation (infants curl up and die if not validated.) Thus a greeting from a friendly stranger is aproximitley 1 stroke. While that kissing the girl yoy love could be worth 30 strokes. The way we try to obtain strokes is by setting up games, which are situations in which we can obtain the highest amount of strokes in the shortest time. Life scripts are used to organize time and to organize the setting up of games.

Everyone obtains gratification from their life scripts, yet always feel something lacking (uncionciously they know they are living out a script.) The scripts are all based on aechetypes. In some way, this friend obtains gratification from being Atlas, the mythological son of Zeus who literally carried the world on his shoulders. Most of the satisfaction from this script is the self validation that one must be very smart to be so misunderstood and thus tortued by the world and knowledge. Meanwhile this is not true at all, and some would feel blessed to have a wider scope of knowledge. But scripts are made very early in life (usually through a desicion, weither conscious or unconcious, after a tike of turmoil or stress.)

This is my take on when I hear people going through self imposed suffering. I think its quite childish. And based on scripts.

Thank you for letting me share my oppinion! Peace

i Always feel a anti deppresive feeling after psycadelic trips.

Me too! It definitely helps regulate my mood.