this is long, but hopefully captivating and useful. here we go…

i am still making sense of what just happened. it was beyond anything i had ever experienced with DMT and i thought i had quite a lot of experience. i don’t think it was a hyper-slap, but rather an epic journey through incredibly difficult terrain. i suppose if i had not had the experience under my belt i do have this would’ve been much, much worse. i just didn’t know what i was in for: do we really ever know?

i’m visiting Amsterdam where i come quite often to teach. my hotel lets me keep luggage stored between visits which is very convenient. this also means i can keep a lot of “supplies” here. i have a wide variety of sacred medicines safely stored which is part of the reason i enjoy coming. i always know what i have and do not ever need to seek anything out.

i always stay in the same hotel and the same room; it’s like a second home so it’s familiar territory. that’s never an issue; doing something in a strange place. i have a way of setting up the area to make it a very lovely and comfortable setting. i had everything i needed; music, candles, flowers, pillows, my yoga mat and some ginger tea.

this evening after setting the intention i decided to wade into harmala territory. i do not have much experience with harmalas; a little bit…vaping some 10x caapi leaf which has very nicely extended the journey and enhanced the “afterglow” segment towards the end as i return. i have felt the synergistic effect it has with DMT yet i know now what i had experienced previously was very, very mild compared to what i traveled through tonight.

one thing i knew (boy do i know it now!) is that the harmalas, while easing the entry and softening the often space-shuttle blast off, they can also strengthen the power overall. i have read many tips and reports that one should reduce dosage of DMT when combining with harmalas. this evening, i did not…and the path the medicine had for me was not anything like i expected.

i melted somewhere between 35-40 milligrams onto my Health Stone (depending on the accuracy of my scale…so maybe 37mg?) i had this loaded in my GVG for a few days knowing i would journey when the calling came. i have used this dose before, always with beautiful results.

i thought i’d try an experiment that i figured would not really succeed. i placed about 20mg of pure harmala freebase onto a liquid pad in my Mighty vaporizer. i turned the heat up as far as it would go and when the time was right i began vaping. there was never any vapor or smoke visible when i exhaled. i figured i was not really getting any. i kept hitting it. probably about 8-10 hits. then i waited…about 20 minutes. i felt no discernible effect.

after some deep breathing and calming moments i raised the GVG, flicked the torch and began hitting it. i am good at taking the whole dose in one hit from the GVG and am sure i did this time as well. since the harmalas ease the entry, i had time to set the GVG down….but this time was different. it wasn’t as gentle as it had been with the caapi leaf. things started to happen pretty quickly.

as we have all experienced, my field of vision became completely obscured with familiar patterns and impossible geometry and i slowly laid back onto my pillows. everything seemed lovely - very, very strong - don’t get me wrong - but nothing out of the ordinary…just lovely.

but soon i began to sense that something was different…a little bit uncomfortable. it was getting close to the time things start to subside, to fade, to start to return back and sit with the lovely afterglow. nothing subsided. it just kept getting stronger. wave upon wave, extraordinary visuals never letting up. nothing bad, nothing scary…not a hyper-slap in the traditional sense of ominous images…but the sense that it was getting, for lack of a better term, out of control.

i sat up and realized that while this is exactly what i had sought, it was much, much more than i had bargained for. i was out of body, but fully aware that my body was beginning to panic and fear what was happening. i knew all the right things to tell myself…that this won’t go on forever, that this will eventually subside, but still my instinctual fear began mount. i thought i should just try to enjoy it since i did, indeed, take the harmalas to extend it - but holy crap…this was just getting more and more intense.

i had absolutely no sense of time. we never do, really - do we? i mean, usually the standard 5-7 minutes in hyperspace seems like a lot longer, but we’re accustomed to that. this began to feel like hours. no letting up. it ebbed and flowed; just when i thought it might be mellowing out, another wave would come and it would be back to full intensity.

i then started to feel ill. i wondered if i was nauseous; i really couldn’t tell since i was completely tripping a ++++ journey. yet, i was pretty sure i might throw up. yet there was no way i could walk, nor did i want to try to make it to the bathroom. i didn’t want to throw up on my yoga mat (not to mention the carpet in the hotel room) so i took off my shirt and placed it down thinking i would vomit on my shirt. i got on all fours and prepared - this was so surreal to be tripping so hard thinking i was going to be sick - that had never happened to me before.

i got the cold sweat thing - sure i was going to puke…but it didn’t happen. i wondered if i should make myself sick but that seemed so violent i resisted. i then just put my head down, on all fours, as if in prayer. and then it hit me…this was the lesson. this was the message. this was the humbling.

the nausea passed, but the intensity of the trip did not. i laid back down in full astonishment. i didn’t realize it but i was very slowly beginning to return. my mind and thoughts returned slowly…the panic started to melt. i thought to myself…damn - i guess vaping those harmalas worked. holy shiva.

at this point my curiosity about time was so strong i had to look at the clock. 30 minutes had passed. it was a full 30 minutes of almost full intensity DMT space. but whereas the return back to normal happens rather quickly after the peak without harmalas, coming back was really, really slow. at this point i just surrendered and allowed myself to try to assimilate what i am going through.

it took a full hour to get back to 3/4 baseline and another 30 minutes still before i wanted to stand up and walk around. i looked in the GVG - yup - cleared it all. i looked in the Mighty vape and yup - none of the harmalas remained. the “experiment worked - the vape does work for freebase harmalas.

i probably would’ve done better with about 25mg of DMT. 30mg might have been pushing it. this was near 40mg which is a very strong dose on its own. combined with the harmalas i was taken to worlds i never thought existed either outside of me or within me.

in the days and weeks to come i will surely be making more sense of this. i suppose that doing this again would not be as disorienting knowing what i might expect from this combination. but since it was my first time, thoughts of “will this ever end?” and “how much stronger can this get?” were very real.

i believe the nausea was not from the harmalas but from the intensity and fear. the venturing into such unfamiliar space was unsettling. i’ve had strong trips before, but never so unrelenting and fluid…rising and falling deeper and deeper with no control. it was as if infinite knowledge and total madness had converged.

after all that you might be surprised to read it was completely beautiful and i have no regrets. i was shown parts of myself - the survivor, the warrior, the man with strength and courage. i was also shown my weaknesses, my fears regarding loss of control and the things i hold dear. all of that was a gift. i am forever grateful and humbled by the journey.

careful what you wish for, we often hear. no matter how much you prepare, you can never fully prepare. remember, Set, Setting and Skill. the skill to know how to navigate what we encounter on our journeys into and through the rugged terrain of our deepest unconscious as well as uncharted hyperspace. having reality and sense of self and ego completely shattered, then slowly reassembled is a process, i believe, in rebuilding towards a stronger self and sense of purpose.

thanks for reading

peace

What a great testimony, getting the chills!! Grateful to hear that our bodies are strong and dependable as a take away from this, that the body just kept going unnoticed from the chattered soul experience? Perhaps like it catches your exploded soul back together, as a poetic thought.

Amazing! This combination really is relentless in its ever expanding force...

I am pretty certain 20mg is way beyond necessary when vaping harmala. Someone please correct me if i am wrong but I remember calculating it out at 3mg of harmala needed. So, that could explain why you felt ill. Perhaps a lower dose of DMT next time?

Also, this is pretty helpful info as there isn't a lot of info on "vaping" harmalas. Although your device isn't an e-cig, we've been having issues with E-cig devices dissolving it in PG. What temp was your machine set to?

the Mighty was set at 410f/210c - the highest it would go. there was no special prep - just tossed the powder onto the liquid pad and screwed on the top.

well, i'm sure you're right - it was way beyond the needed amount to inhibit...but i guess i was using sublingual dosage as a guide.

Thank you for sharing this. I like smoking harmalas before I blast off, I will usually add a knife tip of harmala freebase to a rolled tobacco cigarette and smoke this prior to liftoff.

I'm completely with you ducdevil on harmalas strengthening the overall dmt experience, no question whatsoever. Even just a small amount of harmalas can really put some force behind the experience. 'Relentless and never letting up' as you basically said, building and building, and just when you think the depth and intensity couldn't consume you any further, pulling you in further - it indeed can.

At the lower end of dosing harmalas [subling or changa] I never noticed any distinct difference in terms of the nature of the experience. The experience still is very much the same in it's qualities and where it takes me, though I always felt the harmalas to allow a massive buildup [experientially] very quickly when vaping/smoking, on top of extending the experience a tad, and also slowing the experience down a few notches, slowing it down though in a way that to me allows a more thorough envelopment, no stone's left unturned ime.

Harmalas never lessened or softened the experience for me at their lower/medium dosages, quite the opposite, aside from what you'd mentioned about it softening the initial entry, which is true.

Ever since I started using harmalas with dmt it's what I've always stuck with due to the things I said above.

Although I've never used high amounts of harmalas with vaped/smoked dmt. Messed around with it a few times, but just really wasn't my thing, I felt the high amount of harmalas began to change the overall experience into something different from it's original trajectory.

Glad to hear you had such a profound experience, very nice report.

Thanks for writing this up.

What an amazing report, gave me the chills... As someone that's only ever taken a slight, momentary peek at the entrance towards hyperspace, I can't even begin to imagine what such a powerful journey is. The only thing stopping me is fear...the fear of letting go and just surrendering to the medicine. It takes bravery I still don't have. Thank you for sharing this with all of us man. Glad you made it back humbled and better.

Love&Light