Hello fellow psychonauts!
I would like to share with you what my first adventure has been like. After several attempts of smoking DMT trying different techniques and only resulting in poor uncomfortable body loads, I finally had success with enhanced leaf last night. The effects settled in almost immediately after the second toke and I was rendered incapable of inhaling a third one despite my trip sitter attempt of helping.
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I start falling in between worlds, desperately trying to cling on to what I know to be reality. My body feels heavy, and I feel this unimaginable existential torment. I hope that it was all a bad trip that I am now coming down from, but wait it is pulling me back in again. The next time I gain control of my body I look at the clock...28 past, and here I go sliding into this perfect cube. I am all crawled into a corner, crushed under sheer pressure that my entire being has been reduced to a simple dot, yet I can feel the entirety of this perfectly constructed geometrical shape. I look to my left only to find the wall splitting into an infinite number of squares each with the same skeletal face surrounded by all colors at once. And I am them, all of them at once and I can hear and feel those high frequency waves distorting my entire existence. I wake up again and manage to look at the time. IT IS STILL 28 PAST. But how could it be, after all the pain I have just been through. What if this is it. What if am stuck and I would never get out of here. I become so preoccupied with time that terror and anxiety start creeping in. I gather all my force to ask my trip sitter (also life partner) for help to try and calm me down. The agony becomes more and more unbearable, seeping through every one of my cells until I wake up again to find the time didn't indeed stop and it was now 32 past. My trip should come to an end, it's been 5 minutes. Or maybe not? And the overwhelming unbearable feeling continues.
Is that a light in the corner? A beacon of light starts vibrating and I can smell fresh waves crashing into the shore. Slowly I feel all that agony and torment being washed away to be replaced with absolute tranquility and peace. I've been reborn. I've forgiven myself for everything, left all that heavy armor behind. And so I start going forwards, upwards while all the joy and happiness flows through me, irradiating as if being amplified by my very core.
-"You need to meet someone special, it has a message for you."
-Hmm? What message? Who is this? The Mother herself?!
-"I have a task for you", her presence echoes. "You are very special".
-I knew it, I knew you would come.
-"You need to spread the love. Help people! and take care of yourself."
Suddenly her presence is fading and the atmosphere quickly shifts to the opposite spectrum. The death goddess is here.
-"You think she was fun. Wait until you meet me. Did you forget what you have been through already?"
And those memories of agony start crystallizing.
-No, but I have a choice. I always had, I just didn't know it.
Once again, everything shatters around me and all of a sudden I am home. I am...everywhere and everything. I AM A GOD. I never felt anything like this, it's so exhilarating. Everything feels like a long lost memory now, how I left my body, how I had to suffer, it all makes sense. I had to go through all of it to get here. And look there's more gods, there's more entities, they helped you get there so stay humble. You can go everywhere in time and space.
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And after that realization I started playing around. First with the space dimension, then with time. I saw dimensions everywhere, I met up alien beings. There were no limits.
I tried to keep the flow of events as linear as possible but a lot of it was overlapping, and there are a few instances I omitted for that reason, such as talking to myself in this space with impossible geometry, a crystal clear cube, entities everywhere and a couple lessons I was given to myself .. by myself? to take back. I am not much of a writer but I hope I gave a good outline of what I have been through.
Also, I would like to mention that throughout the trip (even later on, after becoming a god) I would sometimes be able to communicate my trip sitter what I was going through and there were moments where I would laugh uncontrollably almost in a maniac trance. My visual were not that strong, I can only compare it to LSD and it wasn't that vivid for me. Now, my main concern is that when I came back for good, a whole hour had passed. I drank two cups of Guayusa tea that day, but I doubt that had anything to do with it. I was pretty sure that I took N,N DMT, but it doesn't quite match the description of others. What do you think?