Good day to you fellow wanderer.
I have gone by many names in the past, and once again I will use a new name. But my true name is not of any importance, but what lies beyond it.
My consciousness is poured into this body and this persona that I currently identify with in the open-world. But it hasn't always been the same.
I was born to 2 new immigrant parents many years ago. Although I cared for them deeply, and secretly I still do, I never quite was like them. I could tell you some mystical mumbo jumbo right now to give you the impression that I am some sort of snowflake but I was simply different, in an ordinary way, from the community I grew up in. I was and still am often loud, not loud in a rude way but energetic. I always wanted to express my thoughts. Whenever a fight broke between me and someone else, even if it would have been wise to just shut up, I always expressed myself and used words to my advantage. I disliked abiding to authority in irrational extends.
This character of mine has, over the years, strained my relationship with my parents from a young age. On the other social aspects, I wasn't staying sharp either. While I was deemed fun and easy-going on the outside, always ready to shake the hand of a new member of my communities, I always had trouble making close friends. I didn't like the idea of having exclusive friends, groups, barriers. I always wanted to hear the story of every soul I encountered. This made my relationship with them start nicely, but degrade once such people found more confort once settled.
These experiences have more or less left me alone. I could even say that I regreted not sticking with the same people. Nevertheless, I had time to introspect, as I didn't really have anyone to hang out with always, or someone that I could emphatize with more.
I was a late bloomer in may things. While my peers began taking about different shapes of their sexual counterparts, I would still watch my cartoons, fantasizing on embarking in my own adventures, like my heroes. Where kidness, loyalty and friendship rule them all. It came for me as a suprise that the real world was not similar to that. Yet I still imagined.
During my time I stumbled by accident to a few books of spirituality. I gave no importance to them at one time. I even watched an amazing film about one of them, yet, as a kid, it didn't strike me or anything. It wasn't until a few years later that I stumbled back on them, now with a more curious mind and heart which ache for answers.
I looked into them and was amazed, yet sensed a sort of familiarity to their concepts. Mindfulness, consciousness, breathing, letting go of impulses, the 3 selves. These were concepts new to me yet it was like I was "remembering". It was for the first time in my life when I felt that I was reading about , in a sense, something more than life itself.
I took the lessons that I learned and applied them in my daily life. Of course, having learned about them hasn't changed anything on the outside, yet I felt a big sense of relief and a new found peace. It wasn't about being happier. It was more about being more at piece in the winds of change, in the theatre of life.
The years that followed I continued to play my character as if nothing has changed. I continued to nurture his talents, push him to his aspirations, prevent him from harm. I still looked for answers for questions that I had, only to realise there was not point in looking more. I had what I needed, the rest could be interpreted in any way possible.
I stumbled upon DMT during this journey. Although I feel that I have the necessary tools and drive to refine my peaceful heart and warrior spirit, I still am curious about what could lie beyond. I know that I will face them at the time of death, but curiosity makes me want to glimpse and maybe aquire insight that I had not considered before.
I thank everyone who has contributed to the wiki and FAQ, as I had learned information that I may had to travel continents to learn about. I hope, once I am a full member, to contribute in any helpful manner that I can.