Alright so hello! Im here because I was very familiar with lsd and shrooms, wound up very curious about dmt. Tried it for the first time last night and OH MY JEEZ THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!!!! I came out of that absolutely terrified and with a new level of respect for it. That being said, im now even more intrigued by it and and extremely determined to cross the threshold.
Id like to share my experiences with it along the way. As hard as it is to describe that trip, I feel like this is probably the right place to try to at least so id like to start with describing last nights nightmare.
I had watched several harm reduction videos beforehand and attempted to do it as described, 3 hits, blah blah blah... I only made it to 2 hits and I have absolutely no idea how someone can intake more than that.
Hit 1: immediately as I exhale it begins taking effect. Everything around me becomes calm and what im seeing begins to distort. It was as if every visual "line" was drawn perfectly. Hopefully that makes sense. Everything appeared digital As though I were inside Tron and Pac Man at the same time. Im barely able to see the pipe at this point but I go ahead for another hit.
Hit 2: im not sure on the size of my hit but it was so hot that I almost felt I was part of a volcano. Immediately I became nauseaus, vomited what I felt was like gallons, luckily I had someone there to keep an eye on me and they held a trash can (when I came back I found out that it was really jusy a tiny bit of phlegm. Like I had simply spit.) I was no longer here when I puked. You know those paper origami things kids make to "tell a fortune"? I think theyre called a cats cradle. Well the best way I can describe this is I was inside one of those being twisted and folded ripped apart and pieced together. There was every single color in existence in this place yet everything was just black and white. (I actually have a coloring book page that is almost identical to how that place looked to me.) Every fiber of ME was torn to billions of pieces yet still being folded and ripped and turned inside out. I could see myself going through this yet I was still me experiencing going through it. I felt every single fold and rip yet there was nothing to feel at the same time. I really wish there was an actual feeling I could use to compare it to for better understanding but im not sure that feeling really exists. I was still perfectly aware of my conscienceness the entire journey and during the folding I remeber trying so hard to convince myself that if I just let go ill be ok, but it was almost as if I was clinging on for life. I didnt know how to let myself die.
Finally, the folding stops and I begin coming back to this "normal" existence. Sound still didnt exist so while I could see my digitized friend talking, I had no idea what was being said. (He just said "Hi, welcome back"
. It was very dificult to accept that my surroundings were normalizing as the trip faded but as soon as I did I was able to finally let go of that sheer terror and I tell you I have NEVER been so happy to be alive.
I know I didnt breakthrough. I know I was my own worst enemy when it came to crossing that threshold. I know I needed to just let go but I had no idea how difficult that would actually be.
My experience was just yestersay and today im sitting around feeling more lost than I ever have before. I have this really sinking sensation that somebody or something was trying to tell me something. I was supposed to take some sort of knowledge back, or some message or something but I have absolutely no idea what it is and I sure feel crazy even thinking that.
This journey of mine is far from over and I hope if nothing else my stories will be a good read for like minded individuals.