Three days ago I had my first DMT experience. After the third toke I entered a vast space, another dimension. This space/consciousness was unremittingly geometrical and seemingly infinite. It felt alien and yet familiar. I knew I had been here before. My consciousness had expanded hugely. I felt like I could utter a sound and it would reverberate for infinity. I wonder if this was a "breakthrough"? I was not aware of my body. My girlfriend said I sat bolt upright with my palms facing up. The unsettling part of this was the lack of feeling. It was cold, impersonal and and yet as real as this world we live in. Then appeared what I call the "jigsaw joker" which I now realise is a manifestation of the jester. He was made of tiny jigsaw pieces and performed tricks. When I found these amusing, he left. At this point I became aware of two shadowy beings on my right in my peripheral vision. Somehow the presence of these beings calmed me down. It was as if they were saying, "just watch and experience this world". So for the next 10 minutes, that is what I did as I observed the DMT light show - I can't think of any other way to describe it.

In these 10 minutes I was conscious of myself and remember sitting back on the couch and relaxing and surrendering to what I was observing. I was also conscious of time passing and had thoughts like "how am I going to explain this?" The visuals were so intense yet I felt like they were a product of a part of my mind that I cannot normally access. I found that if I hummed to these images, they changed shape/speed/colour. So I was interacting with this phenomenon. I felt disappointed that this was just another "trip". There were no insights, no meetings with wise light beings, no revelation.

I don't know if I will ever try spice again because the initial state that I experienced was so unsettling. It stayed with me for a couple of days and has now faded but I do know that it was real and that I had been there before. If so, when had I been there? It must have been when I was not in a body ie after death. I suppose what is troubling me is the fear that this is where I will go to when I die - a cold, emotionless, infinite, alien space.

Now I feel so glad to be back in this reality where I can experience the myriad of human emotions and the connection I have to the planet and all who live upon it. Compared to the initial state I found myself in, this world is heaven!

I would welcome any comments or insights members have on this experience. Be well, enjoy this world if you can.

Sounds like a breakthrough to me.

The experiences that can be had with DMT are infinite. Endless.

That indifference you are feeling, I feel, is waiting for preference. It doesn't care one way or the other. It waits.. for you.. to give it some preference.

Think about being infinite and knowing you can create anything, anytime. At some point you would get bored. At some point you would become indifferent. So it waits.....

Any revelations can come later in time. Take time to think about your experience and I feel you may pull something from it some time in the future. All in all it sounds like you had a fairly decent DMT trip. It can feel very nice to come back to this reality after experiencing something so odd. That right there is a revelation in some form to me.

DMT can feel like death and it can feel like that is where we go when we die. No way in knowing this for certain. I find comfort in having a feeling that I will return to infinity after I die. In some ways DMT showed me how to die and in turn showed me how to live. Another revelation for me.

I hope you can pull something positive from your experience. Certainly ok to never try it again. At least you saw a glimpse of these odd dimensions we can visit.

Welcome to the Nexus!

A constant message I get from "the other side" is this- YOU are the creator of your own reality. And that there is only NOW. Given that line of thought, I think your experience could tell you more about your current state of existence that it could about an afterlife. Give yourself plenty of time to process your experience. And focus on The Now.

And yes, there is plenty of heaven to be had RIGHT HERE