I'm a 100% Disabled Veteran, and suffer from major depression and PTSD.
I have done shroom microdosing, and currently doing ketamine infusions at the local VA Hospital.
The thing is that I have heard that ayahuasca is the key to help combat my issues. I've never done it, but would like to find a retreat that is local to New Mexico.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Semper Fidelis

Shock and Awe is a good movie about this. Maps put it on across the US on veterans day. I am not 100% but I think that talking about specific retreat centers themselves is a "no go". Otherwise they invite advertising and could be sourcing? (Not entirely sure on this, but going to err on the side of caution).

What I can say is that some groups meet in the US. Not sure how you'd find them, my best guess would be the burner scene or native american churches. In general ask around about the person facilitating. I left the country. My guy was over 60 and is an older peruvian and the "jungle experience" helped me out a lot.

My only suggestion is.. that inner voice that calls out when you are on these. Try to get as many of those tasks done as possible. Ayahuasca has a habit of calling those out first.

Good luck brother.

On a side note (advice): Ayahuasca contains an MAOI as well, which has a lot of medical warnings that go with it. So take the facilitators questions seriously, SSRI's are a big "no" and need to be weened off of long before you take it and there is a strict diet. People will argue about the effectiveness, but I can say. The more serious you take it (fasting, dieta, searching, being humble) the better the experience will be.

Personal Note: I avoid people who call themselves a shaman if they didn't grow up on the reservation or on the land.

Thanks so much for the 411... I'll get researching what you have told me.
Stay blessed Brother!
Semper Fidelis

Why not make Ayahuasca yourself? I hear so many horror stories of fake shamans that that seems like the logical thing to do.

Hey USMC4LIFE respect brother!
What is your experience with psychoactive substances?
Have you tried MDMA? Im quite convinced if you ask the right people about MDMA - psychotherapy session they will accept you as part of a research program. I feel that maybe you should "clean yourself" of negative and past experiences via session with MDMA with a specialist in this field so you can find the root of your depression and ptsd and work it from there. Ketamine is good apperantly for depression but its a cure for the moment not long term, you have to do it every now and then. And dont get on coctail of substances legal or illegal, are you currently prescribed something? Doctors love to prescribe things..Tell if you are currently on anymeds/supplements/treatment etc.+

P.S. - Just out of curiousity are you from USA and where did you fight? Afghanistan,Iraq,Syria?
(Dont answear if you dont want to)
Good Luck!

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Thanks for the info Brother!

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Thanks Brother!
I joined after 9/11, and did 3 combat tours. Twice to Iraq and once to Afghanistan.
When I first got out of the military, the VA had me on about 28 different "heavy" meds... Through time and different therapies that were not covered by the VA, I've managed to trim that down to about 4 meds. I've managed to get myself off of morphine contins and an endless supply of oxycodone.
Currently I'm taking a very high dose of venlafaxine, a low dose of mirtazapine, a HBP med and prescribed vit k supplement.
My own supplements include; ginger, tumeric, cinnamon, glucosamine and a couple of others I can't recall off hand.
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I have a rebuilt ankle, two torn meniscus, 5 blown discs, two back surgeries, nerve damage in my legs and right shoulder, PTSD, a Traumatic Brain Injury, and I've recently developed hand tremors.
When I first got out, I was bed ridden for almost 6 years. I can now walk on my own and only need a wheelchair when things really flair up.
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+Shroom tea therapy was ok, but I never really ever felt any lasting effects.
+MDMA has no effect on me due to my venlafaxine.
+Ketamine seemed to be helping greatly, but the VA felt that I wasn't progressing fast enough, and started lessening my visits. (I'm currently down to one visit, every two weeks.) I personally feel that if it's not twice a week, then it's pretty much useless.
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I feel that ayahuasca has been calling me for a while, it's just now that I've finally decided to take the next step. I'm willing to get rid of any meds that I'm currently on, in order to make this a reality.
God Bless and Godspeed to You Brother,
Semper Fidelis

I first wrote a big reply but before i hit post i deleted it and now i will just simplify my initial reply.

Stop the meds YOU DONT NEED THEM, you wont die or lose your mind if you stop them but you might if you continue to use them. People had depression and ptsd too in the past and they didnt pop pills like food everyday to feel good, meds dont fix problems they are temporary solution. If you choose to stop them do it gradually, if you take 1 pill per day of certain med start by taking half see what happens, you are basically flooding your brain with chemicals at this point which i think is damaging your mind and body.

The only long term solution to healthy mind and body and positive human experience is a healthy habits and lifestyle nor medications nor even psychdelics are going to be long term solution for a positive healthy lifestlye. Yes psychedelics work for a long time but you cant take psychs once and be cured for life, if that was the case some people wouldnt repeat the experience. So start with the basics for a healthy and good life. You are not finding the hot water or holy grail or the cure for your problems man, everything we do have certain price and sometimes we dont think about how much certain actions cost. Im talking from personal experience please start with a healthy basis, eat good food, drink plently of water, the only pills you need are vitamin pills vitamin d3,b12,c, cal mag zinc, omega 3. Workout or run if you can if you cant do streching. Meditate.

Remember that you didnt get to the point you are in one day it wont take one day to fix yourself.
Im sorry if i sound harsh at some point but..you cant build a house without a basis.
Im recommending these things from personal experience good luck brother.

You can make ayahuasca yourself you need Psychotria Viridis(n,n-DMT) and Banisteriopsis Caapi(Monoamine-Oxidase inhibitors). The caapi "protects" the dmt from degradation in the gut so it passes in your blood to your brain. There are plenty of recipes how to make ayahuasca and is very easy its like tea, though is decoction. I would recommend that you go to a church but i dont have any information where or how to find one, sorry. If you are going to make ayahuasca yourself and use it, make sure you have someone to take care for you and your body while your mind is traveling, if you are strong guy ask two people to take care for you so you dont overpower one person and potentially do something dangerous. If i was in your shoes i would first get off the meds for 1 month so your brain chemistry gets back to normal and then proceed with the ayahuasca but thats just me.

Good luck brother in whatever you decide to do..Thank you for your service in protecting my family and friends....
I don't have the answers you are looking for as far as a local retreat towards you,but just wanted to show some love and support...Whichever you choose,,please make sure to do your research and reviews of the said Retreat..Some get bad reps, due to it not really being about the Healing/Patient, and more about the Facilitator..Microdosing has helped me tremendously for PTSD, and Depression ,,I do 5 days on 2 off,and def notice a difference,,,I also take Lions Mane with each microdose fwiw...I hope you keep us posted with your progress,and I wish u the best ......

Good to see another fellow New Mexican in the forums! Research this site for all your needs you have come to the right place for this kinda thing! Personally speaking I have a hard time trusting anybody as I also suffer from ptsd and have gained insight from using entheogens on my own. I can easily search for a practitioner in the more northern part of the state but I'm not wanting to give my power to anyone else, yes there will be a longer learning curve and potentially more risk but I firmly believe that there is a reason we are all drawn to this area of work and that there is inherently a guiding force once we start developing a healthy relationship with the plant medicines and start delving deep into our minds. I'm not into the whole dogma attached to which practitioner is providing the services either. There's no rush take things slow and follow your heart, arm yourself with knowledge and reach out such as that you are now when needing help. Welcome to the nexus I wish you best!!

Check into meditation, which is a very helpful tool in healing.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is something you can put into practice immediately to help alleviate some of the repetitive negative thoughts and emotions.

Breathing exercises are also a great tool in healing. There many different types of breathing exercises out there. Wim Hoff method is a good place to start if interested.

The combination of all three of these tools is highly recommended. These are tools, they need to be put into practice. It takes a certain commitment to heal. It can be difficult to change old patterns of thinking. It first helps to see it all for what it is. To step outside of the pain and observe it. Too see where it is coming from. The core. Then be able to observe it without a debilitating need to turn away. The pain can become love.

To observe the core reasons why you suffer from PTSD and truly understand it can be empowering and conducive to letting it go. It is all to easy to feel broken when you suffer. Unfixable. You have to step outside of that unfixable mindset and to see that you are not broken at all. Just stuck for a bit. Truly loving the self is a hard pill to swallow. I think it is very important to find empathy for the self for true healing to take place. For this to occur, you have to start thinking differently and find new perspectives that empower you. Easier said than done but it is possible.

Find support and talk with people about your PTSD. Go for it head on and take action.

I hope this is helpful and not repetitive information for you. I truly hope you find the healing you are looking for.

Take care!


Please check out the multidisciplinary association for psychedelic studies (MAPS) website, if you have not already. -> https://maps.org/ <- They have so much information on treatments for PTSD.

https://maps.org/news-le...s/v23n1/v23n1_p10-14.pdf

Check out a STB tek for mhrb and then read the Tao of Rue Extraction. Probably the easiest way to get going though as I understand it the THH in Caapi vine changes the experience from when rue is used. Also the cool thing about this is, you can sip it slow and work your way up, maybe take a small hit of changa to intensify for a moment, unlike shrooms or lsd where redosing becomes a pain and it’s more important (in my eyes) to get that first peak accurate.

I’m not experienced with dmt but it seems to “get into” you more deeply to the core than other psychedelics experienced so be safe. It seems to make itself apparent outside the traditional window of just when it’s in your blood. I feel for some people, hopefully myself included that if you aren’t spooked off from discomfort there is a gold mine of wisdom in those hills. Given your background I’m sure you’re familiar with discomfort.

I appreciate the hand sir, take care of yourself. If you have any other questions send a pm my way.