Greetings!
I'm new to the forum. I just registered this week. I have been browsing anonymously for a couple of weeks though. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm in my mid thirties and have been using all kinds of drugs since my early adult years. Unfortunately this includes hard drugs and intravenous use of which I am not proud.
In my early days of psychonautical exploration I experimented with mushrooms, LSD, DXM, and some research chemicals. I had heard of DMT but it was never accessible. After going through several years of hard drug use in my early thirties I have recently returned to the use of psychedelics in an effort to find a deeper meaning in my life and clear myself of the lack of meaning and severe depression I have been experiencing.
I recently reached out to a friend who I knew had connections to the local scene and knew available sources for psychedelics. He came through and introduced me to a genuine and friendly young person who made both LSD and DMT available to me. Allow me to share my recent experiences with these two substances.
Three weeks ago I received four hits of 125ug LSD gel tabs and 200 mg of DMT. I began by taking 250ug of LSD and had the most beautiful trip in my lifetime. I tripped by myself while my wife watched out for me. I laughed, I cried, I wondered, I learned, and I listened. Music sounded and felt so good. I firmly believe that night changed my life for the better. Psychedelics are so much more rewarding when taken with questions and desire for knowledge in your heart and mind as opposed to just "getting fucked up" as it tended to be in my younger days.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and my wife and I both took 125ug of LSD and while we were coming up I decided it was the right time to try the DMT. I loaded 100mg into a glass "meth pipe" which I unfortunately have plenty of experience with. I was able to melt and smoke the DMT pretty easily. I let her go first. She took several hits and laid back and closed her eyes. She at one point began kind of shaking and breathing strangely so I just held her hand and sat next to her. As she came out of it she stared around and seemed kinda weirded out. She reported hearing a strange noise coming from behind her and kinda too the left. She reported being in a cave made of color and felt the presence of an entity which she said made her uncomfortable and somewhat fearful. She said she did not like it and will probably not do it again.
I sat in my recliner and began smoking. Took one hit and held it in for a bit and blew it out noting the taste and smell. Another one as I stared at my Christmas tree and it seemed to stare back. I smiled and it also smiled almost menacingly. I heard the carrier wave and sat back and took one more hit. I felt a pulling or rush, as if my spirit was being sucked from my body. Regretfully I allowed this feeling to scare me and I fought against it which I believe prevented me from breaking through. I believe one more solid hit and I would have broken through. I ended up using the rest the next day and I think I may have messed it up smoking because the experience with another 100mg was nothing like the night before. I was having trouble melting it with a normal lighter. I had some anxiety and just could not focus on the task at hand.
This week I procured another 200mg and proceeded to build myself "The Machine". I am actually very proud of it's construction and will post a picture of it in this thread. This morning I awoke early, at 6 am, which is well before anyone else in my household awakes. I knew I had time alone in peace and quiet so I loaded up the steel wool and stuffed it in the bottle. I used 100mg of the product which I know is a lot but I am still not confident in my smoking ability and I supposed I overcompensated a bit.
The experience this morning was much more pleasant than the first one. The machine worked beautifully and hit very smoothly. I took a huge hit on my first draw, held it in for 10 seconds, and still blew out a good bit of vapor. My heart began racing and I heard the carrier wave which I honestly think is a strange and somehow beautiful sound. I took another hit, wasn't as big and I wasn't able to hold it in as long due to my heart beating so quickly. I laid back and took a third hit and things began swaying and melting. I closed my eyes and saw beautiful colors swirling and forming patterns. Patterns similar to the open eyed patterns I see on LSD. They then morphed into a circular shapes and looked almost like portals opening up before me. I waited hoping I would be sucked into hyperspace but alas, I wasn't. I opened my eyes and took another hit but there was nothing left, I had vaporized all 100mg in three hits. I closed my eyes again and enjoyed the visuals. I felt a peace and feeling of well being wash over me. I just relaxed and enjoyed it. I opened my eyes and saw lights dancing on the wall which was quite mesmerizing.
While I am disappointed I have yet to break through, I still thoroughly enjoyed the experienced and was happy with the performance of my machine. I would appreciate any advice on how to break through. I am ready, I am not scared, and I want nothing more than to learn about myself and the universe and feel all of the love. I have 100mg more and am planning to try again tomorrow morning and maybe doing some deep breathing and meditation for 20-30 mins prior to smoking. I am intrigued by this substance and will continue trying until it is ready for me. Thank you for having me in this community and I really enjoy reading everyone else's experiences and learning from all of you and your knowledge.
Have a great weekend and a Happy New Year!