I smoked approximately 0.2g of 40x Salvia Divinorum last week. I’ve been ruminating on the experience since because it was so confusing for me at first. Here’s what happened.
I smoked the stated amount from a water bong with ice cubes. As I remember, I smoked it, heat applied for the entire duration as my research suggested I should. I held the smoke in, and counted. I was aiming to count to thirty, but I only remember getting to twenty. When I got to twenty, I saw my visual field go slightly askew as if it were one of those tile games where there are multiple heads, multiple torsos, and multiple legs which can be swapped around. I remember thinking, “ok, here it comes,” and the ...
Blank.
I dissociated.
My mind wiped. I was lost, confused. I had not only forgotten that I was a human being, but I had no concept of what “human” was. I saw the faces of my best friend and my cousin, who were both sober and trip-sitting me, revolving around in my visual field as though they were the carts on a Ferris wheel. My friend asked “how you feeling, buddy?” Which reminded me that language existed, though for a few more minutes I did not comprehend how to use it.
Eventually I noticed my cousin staring at me, grinning, and my friend doing the same. I began wondering what they were waiting for, which is when I remembered that I had smoked something, and they were “waiting” for me. It made me very anxious and I began feeling badly that I had been so selfish as to begin tripping while expecting them to stay sober and wait it out (in my mind at the time, I believed this trip would last several hours, as opposed to the 30 or so minutes that my logical brain knew it would).
My face must have betrayed my mental state, because my friend asked me “everything ok man?” And I struggled out the response “it’s just making me really... anxious... that I’m tripping... and you guys aren’t.”
My friend at that point reached for the bong and said “ok buddy, you don’t have to do it alone.” And I grabbed his arm, practically yelling “NO! That’s a bad idea! I don’t like this ride, I want to be done...” and like any good trip-sitter should, he proceeded to explain to me that it would be over shortly, go with the flow, etc. and was mostly successful in calming me down.
However, I was still quite anxious about tripping in their presence, for some reason. By this point I had “come back to earth” and understood that I needed to lay down and close my eyes and just enjoy the CEVs. I wanted to go upstairs to my bed to be alone, but the first attempt at standing went quite poorly and I decided against it. I looked at my two trip sitters and said “you guys should go.” Because that was the only wording I could come up with. So, they left the room, put out the candles and turned off the lights after I laid down on the couch, and left the door open so they could still monitor me from the next room.
I laid there with my hat over my face for full darkness. The closed eye visuals were a rainbow of fractal imagery, which eventually morphed into a giant rainbow-cosmic serpent. I felt as though I was flying through a void directly at the serpent, and decided the best option was to fly down its throat as it came at me. Once inside the serpents belly, the void reappeared and a hawk formed, with a snake in its talons, similar to the scene from Aztec mythology. Finally, the hawk morphed into an owl (my favorite animal and my “spirit animal”), then dissipated into a scene of sparks and radiating colors. At that point, my friend came back in to check on me, and I had mostly come down, so I joined them out in the next room.
I can only explain my “blank” moment in one or two ways; the confusion felt similar to coming out of a deep anesthesia, having a “lost” feeling and having no concept of time, space, or anything else. I didn’t know what the faces were on that “Ferris wheel,” as humanity had instantly become a foreign concept to me. I later came to the conclusion that a good metaphor would be re-living birth to about age three in a five-minute time span. I remember images of my friend an my cousin with their faces attached to half-bodies, only one leg and one arm, as if cut down the middle, and being entirely confused as to not who they were, but what they were. I immediately forgot that I had smoked something, I lost all concept of external stimulus (I felt as though I had temporarily become deaf) and had no idea where I was, who I was, or what I was. I didn’t even know for sure IF I was... physically, I felt a “pins and needles” effect all over my body, as well as a falling vertigo feeling. Once that wore off, my body was restless, but only capable of jittering about, not standing up or moving.
I think I will try this again, but definitely in a smaller quantity. I would like to explore this substance further, especially some of the more-pleasant things I experienced in the latter half of the trip.
Anyone experienced something like this with Salvia?