Hello lovely travelers
INTRO -----------------------------
I would just like to share a little bit of my experience that happened yesterday, so maybe you could give me some thoughts that might help me with integration of this experience.
In my past i have had several mushroom trips that were all magical, +-15 journeys on lsd, and 3 sub breakthrough doses of DMT that were beautiful, but not so deep because of poor set and setting.
So, setting is as usual, my apartment where i live. I have done lsd many times in my life , had one 1000+ug journey and there wasn't journey as intense and oddly beautiful as this one
Set is somewhat different than my usual , for past 3 years i was struggling with bad relationships, dropped out of college etc... Since this summer my life has changed and i have managed
to stop my stimulans and alcohol addiction, meditating everyday, running as often as i can, signed up in college again, doing great. Now i can see what a mess i have been.
I always try to fast before journeys, sometimes for 40+ hours, this journey is different in this aspect because i ate a lot food trough whole day and decided to trip. Also when i am on Lucy i always try to dance as much as i can while i'am waiting for the peak so that i would feel as tired
as i can so i could lay in my bed and meditate for next 4-5 hours. This is also something i skipped this time.
EXPERIENCE -----------------------------
I went for the run that day to set myself in better mood. At 23:00 i ate one tab of lsd that had 105ug. I was laying in my bed in complete darkness while meditating and waiting it to kick in.
My intention for this trip was to face my fears and possibly conquer them. So as this one tab kicked in around +2 hours, i was in such intense and beautiful headspace. CEVs became so intense and beautiful.
I couldn't believe that that can happen on only 105ug of LSD. So i ate one more to see where it will take me since it started so beautifully. At +2.5 hours(since first one) I had complete ego dissolution and visions started.
I wasn't myself no more. As i was catapulted into hyperspace for the first time,there was big kaleidoscopic entity that looked like human and was pure light in some bright platinum color and he tried to show me something but it was so beyond my perception that
i couldn't understand what he tried to show me. I had a sense that he was so powerful that he was creator of the whole reality that i am in. I also felt presence of other entities around him but i couldn't see them.
It was like they were altogether working on something.Then he started to download some complex data on my consciousness. I had the feeling that i merged with whole universe and that entity somehow tried to lead me trough mechanism of whole reality that was so complex, on every step i was something different merging with some light machines, traveling trough their mechanism in these complex layers of everything merging with all kinds of complex light forms. In that moment
i felt like i know how whole universe functions and what it is made of.
Sorry it is so hard to explain in language can't describe this properly and most of my memory faded after that.
When i came back into my body i was so shocked and amazed that this had happen. I needed to pee and headed toward toilet when in corner of my room i saw a little girl sitting in the corner of my room. This was so unexpected and teryffing at first that when i looked at her i jumped.
I couldn't believe what i was seeing and in few seconds i calmed down took few big breaths and concluded that that entity is my fear that i needed to face.
Than i sat in front of her and looked into her eyes.
She looked so evil and demonic but i felt that she had known everything about me and
is way more powerful than me so i just needed to let go and face her. When i looked into her eyes she swallowed my whole being into herself
and merged with my fractal hallucinations that turned into satanic like.
I felt like she was whole room and that i can't escape her even if i wanted to
so i wen't trough 2 -3 hours of brutal and intense demonic hallucinations. But hey, this is something i was looking for, so i wasn't afraid i knew that i need to stand up and face it.
Satanism was my biggest fear and i got it and was faced with it and i am very thankful that it had happen. Since i was a child i was always scared of ghosts and devil and
my cultural ( christian ) background just amplified it trough my life.
When hallucinations became less strong i just laid on my bed in awe and confusion because of what i have experienced.
It was so beautiful and demonic at the same time in same trip. Somehow i felt like that higher glowing human shaped entity was superior and created that another evil one that i needed to face.
At the end around +15 hours i went for run and really long walk. This was so amazing and put everything on its place and all confusion was gone. After the trip i had beautiful afterglow and really felt energized, pure and powerful because i conquered my fear of evil. This is still how i feel.
My desire for tripping is settled and i decided to take some time before i go on another journey because this experience was so powerful and soul satisfying. It will take some time until i integrate it fully in my life.
Thank you for reading, i wish you all pleasant journeys. This community is something beautiful and i am glad i have found this place.
