Hello guys, you are probably sick of me going on about my substance use disorder, but I need to hear about a professional opinion preferably from a doctor on this site, since I am ashamed to talk about it with my own.
Anyways, here's how I got into this...
After my major poly-addiction issues, I decided it was time to get my life in control and get clean. I managed to stay clean for a good couple of weeks with the exception of still consuming caffeine, nicotine, cannabis and alcohol very sporadically (which to an ex addict means a couple of joints and drinks a week).
I started working 2 jobs, one part time, one full time, along going back to adult school to re-qualify which in turn gave me a promise of a really good salary (you could even call it being rich even in first world countries standards) and a permanent working contract.
I started worrying about me zoning out at school, and not being as focused as I desire to be, despite getting a good diet, enough rest and sleep, and caffeine when I needed to be extra focused for hours on end. So I went to the doc, told him I have issues with focus, filled the tests and came out positive for ADHD, depression, and anxiety disorder. All of which were quite severe. I told my doc that I don't want to be treated for depression and anxiety but I got the meds anyways.
I don't drink the meds for that, but I did eventually kneel down and gave the prescription amps a try, mainly because I know them so well, and am very familiar with what they do, promising to myself I still wouldn't take them every single day.
The reaction to them is a bit strange. It seems they have little effect and a really late onset. The first two hours I would feel nothing except maybe a bit of jitters. It would be the same if I redosed. 4-5 redoses later, I'd get a mild mood boost and enhanced focus on the level of having maybe 2 cups of coffee but cleaner, more pleasurable and well.. better kinda until it turns to the dark side maybe 4-5 hours later after feeling the first effects.
I'd get a dangerous spike in my BP, as high as near 200. Despite that, I still am able to eat and sleep on it. Now it has been 36 hours after my last dose, and BP is still around 170. Usually it would return to an elevated level but in a normal range after a night of no sleep and no food. Now however, I got enough rest, food, water, had a hot shower, had deep breathing but it stays high.
Did I damage my heart? Why is this happening? I don't intend to take my meds anymore, but for now I need to know if this happens occasionally to healthy individuals or have I suffered some permanent damage? This question goes also for my brain, not just the heart because it seems I don't respond to dopamine anymore which could set me up for a whole array of problems later in life.