DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 341 Joined: 15-Oct-2016 Last visit: 11-Feb-2024
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Hi guys, been off for a while trying to get my stuff together.
Recovery has been though, but I think I am now able to say I finaly broke my poly-substance addiction. The first 3 days as expected were pure hell. I felt like I could snap any moment and hurt someone or myself (given that I manadged to get enough energy to get out of bed) due to the imbearable withdrawls...
My drugs of choices were meth/amphetamines in general, heroin or poppy pod tea, alcohol, coke and crack when I could afford it and to top it all off smoking weed all the time and drinking ayahuasca when I felt like it.
As you might expect from this crazy drug cocktails I had a lot of interactions going on, was hospitalized a few times due to heart issues and psychosis. It is a miracle I am still alive, frankly I overdosed so many times I shouldn't be.
This put a tool on my body and my mind and I have developed a handfull of health issues, which most of them were reversable but some have not yet subsided. I still have elavated blood pressure the averadge being 135/89 which is a lot for a 22 year old considering I monitor my nutrition and exercise levels daily and according to it, I should have 110 or bellow, but it doesn't drop.
The other side effect that persisted was cognitive impairment. It's not like I lost my speaking skills or have memory loss, but I seem to have extremely low motivation, and lost interes to pretty much anything so I'm basicly just sleeping, eating, going through the motions with responsibilities and exercise and working. Also on ocassion I get flashes of light and white dots in my eyesight, along with ocessionally zoning out and moments of psychotic feelings akin to meth psychosis or low dose pcp.
I recovered from the physical traits like rotten teeth and damadged skin by simply taking care of myself, but my blood pressure and mental state still worries me. Everywhere I look, and everybody I talked to seems to say it takes years to recover after just abusing one substance. I'm not sure if I can afford being a cripeled version of myself for years. I want to thrive again and be thr best I can be. Aside from taking care of myself and abstaining, what else can I do to reverse all the damage done as soon as possible? Will the impairment even last, or will I be my old self in no time?
Because of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most..
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Live the Life you Love
Posts: 132 Joined: 09-Jun-2018 Last visit: 12-Jun-2019
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I have experience here. Congratulations on snapping out of the dangerous daze you were in. Bottom line, It does take a while but what you are doing will pay off everyday. About your blood pressure. It's not the first number that is of importance with a reading of 135, not bad. That one is systolic. Diastolic in the 89 and that is not good. Diet excersize and if I may, Ashwagandha. It is an adaptogenic herb good for Its benefits include supporting immunity, inflammation, memory, sexual function, fatigue, and stress. Studies find that people who take ashwagandha have decreases in both blood pressure and pulse rate. Add meditation and practice gratitude, accept your situation and move forward which you seem to do. I attend Refuge Recovery which is Buddhist based Refugerecovery.org I realize that no one book, one person, or even one ideology will have all the answers. I believe my job is to remain open yet discriminating. My intuition helps me discern truth, and wisdom helps me identify malicious intentions.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3968 Joined: 21-Jul-2012 Last visit: 15-Feb-2024
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If you're serious about recovery, you're in for a long, difficult and rewarding ride. I can think of a few points you might want to consider in early recovery. You haven't even begun to recover actually btw, you are in the healing process. Recovery will begin in months or even years, once you've found, developed and begun working on a practice that addresses all the underlying issues that led you to drug abuse. Even if it was only genuine experimentation that led you down this route, it is doubtful that you haven't experienced some amount of trauma within it. Once your body has healed, you may begin to feel on top of world. Then you'll begin to enter into the PAWS, or post-acute withdrawal phase. It's a period of intense psychological and physical pain that can be inexplicable if one is unprepared for it. This is a long-term phase that can begin around 30-90 days out and last up to five years. This is a dangerous time, as many people walk away from recovery meetings or whatever support community they have, because they feel confident and energized, saddle themselves with responsibility and then relapse when the PAWs hits. If you aren't aware of this, it's a kick in the ass. I don't align with abstinence and am more in the harm reduction camp. I couldn't have gotten off dope without MAT. That said, you will benefit from community and recovery meetings like AA or NA are great for that. I've found that the AA meetings have less personality and better recovery, but that could be a local issue. Get a sponsor. Whatever, find someone to talk to. There's a great podcast called Dopey that has been a source of strength and inspiration for me personally if you're into that thing. The co-host relapsed and died a few weeks ago, it's the real shit. I'm a mental health/recovery peer mentor, and may be able to help you construct a practice (drug free, even psychs and weed) of recovery. Heroin addiction these days is a death sentence depending on where you live. It's good for you that you've finally recognized and admitted you have a problem. Those step-people say that's the first one. Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon *γνῶθι σεαυτόν*
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3090 Joined: 09-Jul-2016 Last visit: 03-Feb-2024
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Physical activity outside...in the open air. Do it every single day. Even when it is cold and wet.
This is what we where build for. All the things physical activity is good for, mentally as well as physically....i wouldn't even know where to begin: it goes from building stamina, to getting your endorphins to start flowing again, to regulating all the biorhytms of your brain and body, to improved cardiovascular health, improved immune system, the release of bdnf....
And it is free. The only medicine in the world that will cost you nothing.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1856 Joined: 07-Sep-2012 Last visit: 12-Jan-2022
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dragonrider wrote:
And it is free. The only medicine in the world that will cost you nothing.
Depending on which country you live in that is not strictly true. I got on a methadone program in France for free. I didn't even have a social security number. And as far as the opiates go it is the route i would reccomend to the OP if there was a possibility to get on a program. Methadone gets a bad rap but it can very effectively lift the monkey and give some of the relief that is needed to get on with the job of getting ones head back in the game. You have to really want to give up for it to work, otherwise you end up topping up your methadone dose with extra drugs and falling further down into a hole. Also for it to work for me i had to taper it over a long period right down to 1mg every 4 days. I never noticed any physical or mental difference when i finally stopped. It was painless. Also i would recommend upping sticks and getting away from any haunts/friends that you associate with your drug use, if that is at all an option. Try and live a simple life reading, listening to music, drinking cups of tea, looking out of the window etc.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3090 Joined: 09-Jul-2016 Last visit: 03-Feb-2024
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hug46 wrote:dragonrider wrote:
And it is free. The only medicine in the world that will cost you nothing.
Depending on which country you live in that is not strictly true. I got on a methadone program in France for free. I didn't even have a social security number. And as far as the opiates go it is the route i would reccomend to the OP if there was a possibility to get on a program. Methadone gets a bad rap but it can very effectively lift the monkey and give some of the relief that is needed to get on with the job of getting ones head back in the game. You have to really want to give up for it to work, otherwise you end up topping up your methadone dose with extra drugs and falling further down into a hole. Also for it to work for me i had to taper it over a long period right down to 1mg every 4 days. I never noticed any physical or mental difference when i finally stopped. It was painless. Also i would recommend upping sticks and getting away from any haunts/friends that you associate with your drug use, if that is at all an option. Try and live a simple life reading, listening to music, drinking cups of tea, looking out of the window etc. Man, i would never have expected you to be a former opiate addict. I don't think i have ever read a single cynical or bitter comment from you.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1856 Joined: 07-Sep-2012 Last visit: 12-Jan-2022
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dragonrider wrote: Man, i would never have expected you to be a former opiate addict. I don't think i have ever read a single cynical or bitter comment from you.
That is a kind comment. I think that my battle and subsequent, and perhaps temporary, victory over addiction and other traumatic situations has resulted in a fairly positive outlook on life. So i thank you for noticing.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3968 Joined: 21-Jul-2012 Last visit: 15-Feb-2024
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dragonrider wrote: Man, i would never have expected you to be a former opiate addict. I don't think i have ever read a single cynical or bitter comment from you.
Lofl On the methadone/MAT route. In all my experience with opiate addiction, medication assisted therapy is by far the more effective method when compared with abstinence, and far less deadly. Suboxone/subutex (buprenorphine) is also a good thing to look into, but there is a lot of misinformation out there saying it's more effective than methadone due to the lobbying for it. Bupe is effective but for many doesn't have an "opiate on board" feeling which can lead to problems. Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon *γνῶθι σεαυτόν*
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1856 Joined: 07-Sep-2012 Last visit: 12-Jan-2022
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null24 wrote:dragonrider wrote: Man, i would never have expected you to be a former opiate addict. I don't think i have ever read a single cynical or bitter comment from you.
Lofl Aah! Ok i get it. Dragonrider was being sarcastic. Cynical? Piss taker? A bit sarcastic? These accusations i hold my hands up to. But i do not think that i have become bitter.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3090 Joined: 09-Jul-2016 Last visit: 03-Feb-2024
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hug46 wrote:null24 wrote:dragonrider wrote: Man, i would never have expected you to be a former opiate addict. I don't think i have ever read a single cynical or bitter comment from you.
Lofl Aah! Ok i get it. Dragonrider was being sarcastic. Cynical? Piss taker? A bit sarcastic? These accusations i hold my hands up to. But i do not think that i have become bitter. No, i wasn't being sarcastic. Maybe null24 mistook your good sense of humour for cynicism.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3090 Joined: 09-Jul-2016 Last visit: 03-Feb-2024
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Btw, i think st johnsworth could help reduce the PAWS because it elevates levels of dopamine in your blood. Very crucial, dopamine. A lack of it takes the fun out of everything.
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Live the Life you Love
Posts: 132 Joined: 09-Jun-2018 Last visit: 12-Jun-2019
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St John's wort is NOT to be mixed with other medicines so double check for interactions before you take it I realize that no one book, one person, or even one ideology will have all the answers. I believe my job is to remain open yet discriminating. My intuition helps me discern truth, and wisdom helps me identify malicious intentions.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 289 Joined: 29-Aug-2014 Last visit: 06-Feb-2024
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yes, the mind suffers the most from addiction.
if you want to get free from cravings, get "the easy way to quit smoking" from allen carr and replace "nicotine" and "cigarettes" with the drug of your choice. should work wonders for your withdrawals.
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