Well I've had 5MEO in my dresser for a while. Due to a panicky rough experience with nn a couple months ago, I have held off from bestowing on this journey with 5. Tonight its calling me. Probably because I had an incredible psychedelic experience 3 days ago with 4-aco-DMT.

I am extremely anxious about it tonight. I realize set and setting is everything... and I will definitely engage and work on a proper S&S but every time I near dosing, I really get anxious. I know its normal to be timid before dosing, but I feel like its heavier than it should be. I feel like if I were to do nn tonight, I wouldnt be this afraid. I think its the stories I read of life imploding on 5 that is freaking me out. Not having a ledge to grab onto while falling into the abyss. I've read about lungs collapsing, etc.

Should I be in a better place before this experience?

The plan is to meditate, pray, listen to Sanskrit music, relax and when the time is right, small dose 10mg. My gf will be my sitter although she doesn't have much psychedlic experience. She did however calm me down from my nn panic attack a couple months ago. So she's aware of what could happen.

My only worry is the come up. The intensity of a 60mg (in one rip) of nn sent me into a full panic attack. I fought hard to stay in this world. I couldn't consciously let go. I havent forgotten this trauma. I have dabbled in low doses of nn and 4ACODMT since then. And worked through the come up anxiety. But as we all know this is a totally different medicine.

Any advice? Should I avoid this? Should I just go for it?

Is there any safety precautions we should take? My gf realizes I may freak out. and she will refrain from a 911 call (unless I stop breathing.) Is it normal to stop breathing for a short amount of time?

I've told her that worst case scenario I vomit, scream, roll on the floor like a possessed animal but it will wear off in 5-10 minutes. She knows to roll me on my side if I vomit and catch me as I flip off the couch like a fish out of water.

Will I stay in this world with 10mg dose? Is it too small because it'll allow me to be conscious through traumatic experiences?

thanks for the help.

Yes. Actually sometimes even for a longer time...

I basically summed up all I know here:

https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&m=875877#post875877





Honestly, IMHO if you're clinging that strongly to your self, then 10mg will never do it.

Sure everybody is different. But that's just MHO.

Dosage is also very dependent on your smoking/vaping tek. E.g. if you managed to stay in this reality on 60mg DMT, then IMHO you either are a very extreme "fighter", or your vaping tek is not good.

E.g. if 2mg vaped 5-MeO-DMT do not basically already floor you, then you probably are not doing it right.



In all honesty, IMHO nothing can prepare you for a 5-MeO-DMT release dose. So it's hard to say. Everybody is different.

I have never taken 5meo, so take my advice from a point of view of a person who also had some pretty intense and scary NN experiences.

I'd suggest to figure out what's making you so tied to this reality. What is it that you are afraid to lose? Then do something about it, if this is your intention, to continue psychedelic explorations.

Ask yourself: if you have doubts about doing it, why are you doing it?

It is entirely your call. I find letting go to be far easier on 5, but that is me.

No amount of psychedelic experience is going to sufficiently prepare you.

Are you ready to die? You will not come back the same.

It sounds like your partner is supportive but it is doubtful she will grok much of what you talkabout after. You may appear unhinged to her and her response may effect your veracity in the experience. No matter how genuine,it is still a drug experience and our culture has problems with that and has really no correlation with transformative experience.

Do you have a plan for doing aftercare? You will be vulnerable after a breakthrough. I'd advise to look at it in the long term, it will take much time, work and wisdom to successfully integrate.

Good luck. Be good to you.

great write up. Very informative. WRT your points, allow me to answer them..

I think its safe to say I cling onto my ego fairly tightly. That 60mg rip I coughed up after holding for a few seconds. And I couldn't sit any longer. It was my first adverse reaction. The intensity was far too much and Im amazed I had the power to flop around. I surprised myself, because prior to that, I was sure I couldn't move even if I wanted to. The ego is strong. So definitely IV dosing would be ideal, my vaping tek is getting better. From the first time until now I've improved vastly. But the lungs failing still cause some problems. Not to mention the inherent panic when struggling for breath. Perhaps if I held that 60mg in longer I'd not have a choice to panic. But certainly, unfortunately, my fight is too much for my own good.

thats a great question. What am I afraid to lose? I am very serious about exploration through psychs. I want to let go. Im not sure why I cant do it. I can do it through meditation. But not with the come up anxiety I think ,

Thanks.

Ive accepted death in a breakthrough before. It was quite easy when I had exhausted all other avenues of clinging on to this world. At that moment, In my mind, my brain was destroyed and I submitted that I was dying. SO I sat there in bed defeated waiting to die. When this happened, I began to travel through a time warp into the abyss. The other side was incredible.