Maybe to you.
To ME this sounds incredibly backwards and frigid. One of the incredible advantages of Porn is that it's enabling you to experience a fantasy, something you might not consider doing with you partner.

...While porn can be used in a healthy or productive manner, it's usually not. There is little to lose and much benefit to giving up pornography, or at least understanding the personal and social implications involved and reorienting your personal viewing habits accordingly...

... Like people go to extremes only to provide variety in this sector, and I find it disturbing.

obliguhl - I really do believe some of the porn is really f'ed up man, you can't deny that. Like people go to extremes only to provide variety in this sector, and I find it disturbing.

It doesn't sound frigid and backwards to me. Because....if you could experience any fantasy you want, why would you prefer the more negative fantasy's over the more positive ones?

The fact that you think this is frigid and backwars suggest to me, that you think you are liberating yourself with porn. Wich confirms what i said earlier: that you are obsessed with taboo's, obsessed with what's forbidden. So you are not liberated at all. The taboo's still controll you, but in a reversed manner.

I think you are not in touch with your own sexuality, You can't 'localize' your own feelings, because you're afraid of them. Maybe because you where always tought that sex is dirty and very bad.
But you have sexual desires nevertheless. You speak of a void.
So you go looking for them, but the only place you can think of is in the field of the taboo's. The direction of things that are dirty or very bad. Because you still associate sex with 'dirty' and 'very bad'. It's a pavlovian, conditioned behaviour.

And it prevents you from experiencing sex in a positive way. So the void remains. Because the sex you do experience, never realy fullfills anything.

Because the sex you do experience

Maybe to you.
To ME this sounds incredibly backwards and frigid. One of the incredible advantages of Porn is that it's enabling you to experience a fantasy, something you might not consider doing with you partner.

@dragonrider



That is a common theory among fapstronauts. I can only speak for myself and tell you that porn abstinence and nofap for several months has mostly created misery for me.

I don't think that there is somehing wrong with porn by definition. But there is something wrong with most of the porn.

I sometimes watch porn, i must admit. But i find most of the porn so incredibly shitty, that searching for a pornvideo that is actually erotic, for me, actually takes longer than the watching itself.

There is something twisted about the whole porn-world, i think. When they call someone an amateur, they mean a proffesional. And i think that most of the pornographers are literally, and not in the freudian sense, anally fixated.
I sometimes wonder i the people making pornvideos, even like sex at all.

I mean, there are people who's whole proffesional career only requires one skill, wich is faking an orgasm. And, no pun intended, but they realy, realy suck at it. So bad that you could wonder if they ever even had one.

I think it has something to do with sexual taboos. It's not good to have too many taboo's. I think too many taboo's condition people in a pavlovian way, to associate all feelings of lust, with the taboo's they grew up with.

Of all the western european countries, italy is probably the most religious. Maybe they're second, after portugal. But the majority of the prostitutes in italy are she-males. And nowhere in western europe are there as many under-age childeren working as a prostitute, as in italy.

I think that if you hear that sex is disgusting too often, some people start associating sex with disugusting. Not such a strange thought...is it? So when they start looking for sex, they look for things they think are disgusting. Pavlov at work.

They think they are liberating themselves, but actually they are still listening to the preachers.

How the hell can humiliation be positive? Or violence?

dragonrider wrote:
How the hell can humiliation be positive? Or violence?

I think humiliation/violence induce fear and that on some biological level fear can induce sexuality on some people, a shortcut of sorts. Hence the role plays? I suspect a hardware tricking the body in sexual modus. Not my cuppa tea but that's my best guess of connecting dots, anyway it adds to another negative connotation to porn.

What if you can't get sex and are trying to fill that void with porn?

This will be taken the wrong way perhaps by some, but my option would probly be a prostitute, if I felt I actually could not get sex. I have never resorted to that, but I know people who have and it's not that uncommon. As long as there is respect etc I dont think it is morally wrong. I would personally not wish to live my life never having sex because I felt I was unable to get it if/when I really wanted or needed it.

There are many lonely anxious people on the internet who want to get laid. Tinder is for that kind of thing, and many people meet that way and end up together.

I do think that some porn obsession can be fueled by a lack of sexual experience, like an outlet of energy built up and untapped. I dont feel porn or celibacy can really be healthy expressions of that energy, and will often likely only mask the issue, and lead to a sort of fragmentation of the personality. It is probly similar to cognitive dissonance, combined with the feeling of total rejection from the opposite sex.

A friend said to me recently "noone chooses celibacy", and while I do not agree this is always true, I think in this context it might be. You cannot choose to deny a thing, when that thing is perceived as being so scarce it is unattainable.