Hello my dear Nexians,

Since I don't see this discussed that much in the forum, I decided I'm gonna make a post about it after talking about it in the chat the other day.

I was in a 6 years long relationship with my ex, generally never had sex problems etc, but I have to admit I have watched quite a lot of porn in my life. I noticed a drastic shift in my life after my first steps into the psychedelic realms.

What happened is basically I started losing my desire for sexual intercourse. I even had several unpleasant experiences with women. Now you might wonder what does that have to do with either porn or psychedelics. Let's first dissect what does watching porn do to your brain.

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1. Dopamine surges when a person is exposed to novel stimuli, particularly if it is sexual, or when a stimuli is more arousing than anticipated. Because erotic imagery is observed to trigger enormous levels of dopamine, exposure to pornography leads to “arousal addiction” and "teaches" the brain to prefer the image and become less satisfied with real-life sexual partners.

2. Overstimulation of the reward circuitry—such as occurs with repeated dopamine spikes related to viewing pornography—creates desensitization. As Gary Wilson explains, “When dopamine receptors drop after too much stimulation, the brain doesn't respond as much, and we feel less reward from pleasure. That drives us to search even harder for feelings of satisfaction—for example, by seeking out more extreme sexual stimuli, longer porn sessions, or more frequent porn viewing—thus further numbing the brain.

3. “The psychological, behavioral, and emotional habits that form our sexual character will be based on the decisions we make,” says William M. Struthers - professor of psychology at Wheaton College. “Whenever the sequence of arousal and response is activated, it forms a neurological memory that will influence future processing and response to sexual cues. As this pathway becomes activated and traveled, it becomes a preferred route—a mental journey—that is regularly trod. The consequences of this are far-reaching.”

4. What makes Internet porn unique? Wilson identifies a number of reasons, including: (1) Internet porn offers extreme novelty; (2) Unlike food and drugs, there are almost no physical limitations to Internet porn consumption; (3) With Internet porn one can escalate both with more novel “partners” and by viewing new and unusual genres; (4) Unlike drugs and food, Internet porn doesn't eventually activate the brain's natural aversion system; and (5) The age users start watching porn. A teen's brain is at its peak of dopamine production and neuroplasticity, making it highly vulnerable to addiction and rewiring.

5.Other brain chemicals that are released during sex or porn include oxytocin and vasopressin. These hormones are what help the person recall long-term memories. They work by forming a fond connection between your memory and the object that gave you sexual pleasure. This creates a wave of sensation throughout the whole body similar to being high.

Typically, sex causes the release of serotonin levels, which in turn leads to feelings of tranquility and relaxation. However, if the brain associates these feelings with a porn experience, it will subsequently direct a person back to porn each time sexual desire arises rather than a true sexual experience.

6. The brain of a porn user is often compared to that of a drug addict or alcoholic. A 2014 Cambridge University study published in the journal PLOS ONE found the ventral striatum — a brain structure that plays a role in the brain’s reward center, aka its pleasure pathways — lit up when an alcoholic saw a photo of a drink. In porn addicts, the study found similar brain activity, but although they wanted porn more, they didn’t enjoy it more.

The researchers also found three regions in the brain that were more active in people with compulsive sexual behavior, including the ventral striatum, the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (responsible for anticipating rewards), and the amygdala (involved in processing the significance of events and emotions). These regions are also known to be activated in drug addicts when shown their drugs of choice.

Age also seemed to affect the level of brain activity in the ventral striatum while viewing porn. The younger the patient, the higher the activity level in their ventral striatum — this effect was strongest in individuals with compulsive sexual behavior. These findings were especially important, since the frontal control regions of the brain continue to develop into a person’s mid-20s. An imbalance in these regions may increase impulsiveness and risk-taking behaviors in younger patients.

7. The pornographic brain not only mirrors the activity in addicts, it also changes size in a similar way. In a quoted German study (no source available), researchers found that gray matter volume in the right caudate of the striatum was smaller among frequent porn viewers. Men who watched more porn also showed less activity in another area of the striatum, known as the left putamen, which lit up when exposed to sexual stimuli.

These brain changes are similar to those seen in cocaine addicts, who develop abnormalities in areas, such as the nucleus accumbens and striatum, which are responsible for learning, memory, pleasure, and reward. Despite these findings, it’s unclear whether watching porn is what causes these brain changes or if people with certain brain types just watch more porn.

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Based on the above, we can conclude that watching porn is generally bad for you, especially if you are in your 20s. Furthermore, most porn depicts the act of sexual intercourse as something different from the actual spiritual value that it has. It should be a bond between two souls, a bridge between their consciousnesses and their physical bodies. It is supposed to be beautiful. Sadly, porn takes us further away from this.

I have seen firsthand how destructive it can be in young people. By chance, a friend of my mother overheard a conversation between young girls around 9th grade while on a parental meeting. Several of them were bragging how much sex they had, and how much experience in doing all sorts of things they had (I will not go into detail as this would deviate from the purpose of this post). And this occurrence is not unique, it actually happens frighteningly frequently. This only goes to show how destructive porn is when the young mind is overexposed to it. They grow up with little value for sex and the spiritual value behind it. It's more of a method to ascend the social ranking ladder among their friends.

It should be noted that I acknowledge there are of course exceptions to what I've said so far, but an overwhelming percentage of the young (and adult) population is affected heavily by porn, many of them not even realizing it.

I myself have observed how over the years the amount of porn I've watched has definitely affected me negatively. It has planted in my subconsciousness the seed that I should, by all means, perform "perfectly", or else my partner would be displeased and I would embarrass myself. It has created in my mind an unrealistic image of what "proper" sex should be. I've even tried to replicate things I've seen in certain porn acts without fully realizing this at the moment.

This has forcefully shifted my focus from enjoying the experience of being with a woman, to actually focusing on what I do, how I do it and constant anxiety if she likes what I'm doing or the way I'm doing it. This situation repeated three times, and those were basically my last three attempts of sexual intercourse.

Coincidentally, shortly before I had those three attempts, I had had my first psychedelic experience, which completely rewired my brain. It allowed me to expand my perspective and look at my flaws and the ways to better myself, to heal per se.

What I suspect happened was that on a subconscious level, psychedelics pinned this underlying issue that was created by years of exposure to porn, and slowly but surely started pointing towards it. Now, some months later, I can finally clearly see the effects porn has had on my sexual life.

It has exponentially decreased my libido and the excitement I'd get by having sex, and has replaced them with anxiety, strive to be perfect and generally decreased my enjoyment of sex, subconsciously orienting me towards the way easier, less stressful alternative that is porn - precisely what points 1, 3 and 5 above collapse upon.

The way I interpret this situation is that psychedelics, and my newly-expanded consciousness, are hinting me towards a weak link in the chain of my life, that is porn. They're trying to make me stop watching it, so I can again feel the drive to be with a real woman and enjoy sex rather than worry if I'm "doing good".

I know many of you have observed different effects on their libido after their introduction to psychedelics, but I'm also sure many people worldwide have the same situation as mine, hence this post.

I have made a decision I will stop watching porn yesterday. I am yet to observe any noticeable effects, but science and healthy logic points to a future way brighter than now.

My urge to all of you having the same issues is to just stop watching porn completely, and let time heal you. There is ultimately more harm in porn than benefits. Yes, in certain situations it can strengthen the bond in a relationship, or even make it more diverse and fun, but in my case it doesn't have that effect.

If anyone here wants to add or edit something of the above, feel free to do so. I'm always open to new knowledge and perspectives.

Much love and respect, my lovely brothers and sisters!

May Mother Nature shine her blissful light upon your paths at all times!

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Sources and interesting reads:
Joe Carter, 08.05.2013; 9 Things You Should Know About Pornography and the Brain
Gary Wilson, 11.12.2011; Desensitization: A Numbed Pleasure Response
Neurobiology of Learning and Memory; Volume 93, Issue 2, February 2010, Pages 240-247
Valerie Voon et al., July 11, 2014; Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours
Lizette Borrelli, 12.08.2015; Watching Adult Films Alters Brain Activity Similar To Drug Addicts, Alcoholics: The Pornographic Mind

I have had some experience with this. The best remedy to this problem is controlled sexual activity. I have a friend that has scheduled masturbation sessions. Just once a week. I try to use Multi Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia as a guide to build up endurance without any sexual material.

The nature of internet pornography is incredibly fascinating. For millennia, the best people could do was their imagination, barring the real thing of course. And now, we have the entire internet at our disposal. The negativity of instant internet gratification is not only seen in porn, but in social media as well.

I've noticed a troubling growing trend, similar in vein to those 9th graders OP was speaking about. But this observations lies with men. Where sex is a conquest, and men often boast about how many one night stands they've had. Which explains why they are one night stands, and not frequent trysts with the same person. Also the nature of the sex they have is almost identical to that depicted in porn. No intimacy, no spiritual connection. Just mutual masturbation involving each others genitals. It doesn't help that often both parties involved are rather intoxicated.

In fact, it's rather shameful, but i've never had sex without the influence of alcohol. I don't drink much to begin with, finding drunkenness to be annoying, but it is called liquid courage for a reason. I'm too much of a deep thinker, and when i'm talking to a woman that is giving signals to progress further to intimacy, i'm either totally oblivious or i don't care. But when tipsy, i reciprocate their advances, or sometimes i even initiate them. That is not me, the sober me would never do that. The high me would also never do that. It is because of that reason that when i drink socially, it's usually only one beer, and a real good one at that. Hence, i haven't gotten laid in years. Being the soberest person at a party, you can see the descent into chaos. Where it's just an orgy of impulsive behaviour. No courtship, and beyond a certain blood alcohol limit, no flirting. Just straight up "HEY! You wanna have a root?!"

Psilo I completely agree man. The example I gave was not so much to generalize the situation, rather just an aspect of it. I've noticed men boasting about how many one night stands they had back in the day when I used to be in companies just for the sake of social interaction and integration, rather than enjoyment. Even more, I've felt inferior just because I hadn't had as many as other participants in those groups. They were looked up as sort of "elders" - the ones that boned the most, hence the ones that were the best. How stupid is that...

It's very sad indeed, stripping away something so beautiful and sensual from the value it has and treating it like nothing more than a bestial instinct and a lever that will open the floodgates of social acceptance and status upon oneself.

If your'e anxious about sex, performance, getting it up, libido etc. The best thing that you can do to cure it is to discuss it with any partners before engaging in congress. If they're not up for the sex after the discussion then they probably weren't worth the effort in the first place.
I have got decent results by telling partners not to a expect a miracle first time out in the boudoir. Also a plain old "i'm not very good at this. What do you want me to do?" can work. Communication, honesty and a sense of humour is great for sexual or any kind of social anxiety.

Also i woundn't get too hung up on sex having to be beautiful, spiritual and sensitive. It can be bestial and instinctive at times aswell, and still be very fulfilling. It can also be messy, disorganised and sometimes a complete failure. That's ok too.



That is not really true. Pornography has been around for a long,long time. The same goes for people boasting about their conquests.

In the form of drawings on amphorae. Or that story of that ancient Greek dude who lusted over a statue of Aphrodite. These can't really compare to VR porn, let alone just normal videos.

Well... How about a couple ideas here....

One... psychedelics and sex is awesome!!! Combine the two and that truly is ground-trembling. Break the dang bed!! Try every room in the house!

Two... Make some porn of your own! It's fun! You can watch it later and get excited about your partner. Ask your partner to make a solo video just for you!

Three.. Make porno on psychedelics!

I dunno.. different strokes for different folks (pun intended) Just don't stroke it so much that you lose your desire for intimacy. Lots of ways to spice up the bedroom... lots of ways.. just have to have a will for it. Where there is a will there is a way. Communication is key. Try something new, explore fantasies, spanking or S&M, role play, try something taboo, use your imagination and communicate to your partner about this. Find something in common!

Masterbation is fine and dandy in moderation. If your tugging on it all the time to porn, then the problem is not with porn, it is with you. Turn it off. If you find yourself yearning to turn it back on that would be a good indication that you need to stop watching it by yourself. Addiction? I dunno.. It's not like your going to have withdrawals.. It's all about willpower. Just stop.. save it up and glue your partner to the ceiling after a week of not fapping it!

My two cents eh... lol

Again not true. While the medium in which it is presented has developed, the content has been there for millenia.



Everytime a new bit of media technology is developed, porn is one of the first things that it is used for. Dismissing the effectiveness of something because it is not made with the latest technology does not detract from it's effectiveness for the viewer at the time that it was made.



I think that for those that are already anxious about sex (and probably inexperienced as a result), adding a camera and psychedelics into the mix would make things 1000 times worse....

I disagree. The only way to get over anxiety (fear) of sex is to have sex. Timid sex will lead to more timid sex. Breaking out of a rut in sex requires trying something new and exciting. Perhaps a camera or psychedelics are not a place to start. Exploring is half the fun with sex. If you don't feel like exploring, enjoy the porn alone I guess.

Someone who is already into porn might very well enjoy the addition of a camera and making some porn of their own.

I certainly don't think talking about these things with your partner would make things 1000 times worse. That is being mellow dramatic I think. It is very important to communicate about sex, during sex and after sex. Not everything is going to be appealing to your partner, but talking about what turns you on and or any kind of sex exploration is very healthy in my opinion.

Put away the porno. Get to talking. Try something that appeals to all those involved, including adding psychedelics and/or a camera to make some porn. All of these things can open someone up to being a little less uptight. Just busting out the camera and psychedelics right off the bat without communication was not at all what I was saying obviously. Talking about sex is the start of good sex and less porn.

I completely agree with all the suggestions of communicating with your partner. Communication is key to the satisfaction of both.


Of course it is with me. That's like saying to a heroin addict "The problem is not in the heroin ruining your body, it's in you."

That's why I made this decision to cut off the porn entirely and see where it leads me.

Regarding involving psychedelics or a camera - it is definitely a way to spice things up a bit, but first I have to "recover" from the damage I did on my mind by exposing it to porn so frequently.

It's a healing process that will take time. I haven't said "NO" to sex for good of course. I just need time to get my bearings together.

Yes, sex can be and sometimes is primal and bestial, putting the other aspects of it in the shadow, but I would much rather prefer it is a spiritual bond between two people.

Time will tell how it goes. Thank you all for the precious input. Much love!

I don't think that there is somehing wrong with porn by definition. But there is something wrong with most of the porn.

I sometimes watch porn, i must admit. But i find most of the porn so incredibly shitty, that searching for a pornvideo that is actually erotic, for me, actually takes longer than the watching itself.

There is something twisted about the whole porn-world, i think. When they call someone an amateur, they mean a proffesional. And i think that most of the pornographers are literally, and not in the freudian sense, anally fixated.
I sometimes wonder i the people making pornvideos, even like sex at all.

I mean, there are people who's whole proffesional career only requires one skill, wich is faking an orgasm. And, no pun intended, but they realy, realy suck at it. So bad that you could wonder if they ever even had one.

I think it has something to do with sexual taboos. It's not good to have too many taboo's. I think too many taboo's condition people in a pavlovian way, to associate all feelings of lust, with the taboo's they grew up with.

Of all the western european countries, italy is probably the most religious. Maybe they're second, after portugal. But the majority of the prostitutes in italy are she-males. And nowhere in western europe are there as many under-age childeren working as a prostitute, as in italy.

I think that if you hear that sex is disgusting too often, some people start associating sex with disugusting. Not such a strange thought...is it? So when they start looking for sex, they look for things they think are disgusting. Pavlov at work.

They think they are liberating themselves, but actually they are still listening to the preachers.

Apologies for my late response but i dont actually understand why you are disagreeing with me if you are saying that a camera and psychedelics are not a good place to start.



If you read my first post i said that communication, honesty and a sense of humour are key to getting over any kind of anxiety. No where have i said that talking to a partner would make things 1000 times worse.



I personally dont have a problem with anyone filming themselves while having sex on drugs but i think that you are coming at it from the perspective of someone that is comfortable with their sexuality. IME anxiety comes about from over thinking ,intense self consciousness and over self analysis. Having all that going while stressing about not being able to get a hard on (for example) would be magnified by the drugs and then ramped up to excruciating intensity by the presence of a camera.

The best thing i have found for anxiety is to make friends with it and celebrate ones shortcomings. Societal and cultural expectations are sometimes so goddamned over rated. Once you realise this and are happy that you are crap at something you can relax more. And this can lead to living in the moment when engaging in the act of lovemaking

What if you don't have Sex?
Are you supposed to masturbate to your co-worrker while thinking about the "spiritual union" you could have with her some day?

I'm sceptical when it comes to the anti porn, anti masturbation movement. There is a reason it is very popular in a prude country such as the US. Sex is what you make of it and you can very well masturbate to the same porn movie forever without showing addictive behaviour to new stimuli.

It might be that Sex can be soul-bonding and whatnot. But you can also become enlightened turning a rock.

OP: You can't stop grass growing by cutting it leafs. Good luck with that.

What would one do to avoid over-stimulating of the rewarding circuitry as per (wank)sex?
Probably another practice that is actually doing the very same rewarding-thingy in just another package. Singing to The Lord for example? Being the workaholic? Devouring a hamburger or 2? Watching a heart devastating movie? All very much socially accepted and thus 'Good'.

If you find yourself having a lopsided behavior, dig deeper than blaming the manifestation in itself? I think there should be less guilt about having 'tendencies'. Thought's like: "I should only be having soul bounding sex and no wanking whatsoever" is adding unnecessary pressure imho. But if that is how your boat floats then go for it. But be prepared to be disappointed in your high goals, it's all inclusive and there are no guarantees, or eventually to find the other one on another page despite everything.

Imho..

I'm a little late to chime in here but in the western world I think the dogmas of the Abrahamic religions pushed a prude agenda. I don't even think having a spiritual connection with one's sexual partner is essential. Westerners experience shame at being naked in public and having sex. Sex and masturbation are viewed as taboo subjects. The shame I think originates with the story of Adam and eve. They ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge and immediately felt shame at being naked and so they covered themselves when the lord arrived.

The Huichol, an indigenous tribe in the Santa Madre mountains do not attach the notion of shame to sex. They often joke of their sexual promiscuity, especially the women. They are polygamist and often have sex while intoxicated with alcohol. I think high sex is better though personally. Alcohol definitely dumbs people down and can lead to regretful sexual encounters.

And for some Native American tribes sex did not come with guilt. The Wendat (Huron) are an aboriginal tribe in Quebec, Michigan, oklamhoma. They were hunter gatherers. There clan lineage was matrilineal. It was still considered incestuous to have sex with a person from your generation in your clan (may not apply to other clans). The attitudes about sex of the Wendat were more free and open then our European ancestors.

Sex was a ceremonial event for the Wendat. a ceremony of "Andacwandet" which means "they are enveloped in sex" a mating of men with girls after a feast. They literally were to "be enveloped in sex for me" those who were sick. There was an assembly of girls at a sick woman's couch. The women were asked which men they would like to sleep with for the night. They then have sex in the presence of the sick person. They had for more choice then the Europeans. It is requested by the sick person and they have sex voluntarily on their behalf.

The Christian missionaries refused to let the Wendat perform the ceremony. So this shows the contrast between a very free and open attitude about sex for the Wendat and a very rigid and shameful view of the Christians.

The Wendat thought of sex as something to celebrate and cherish, not repress or feel shameful about. The female sexuality was greatly respected. I think in western culture women are actually still sexually repressed because they are made to feel that having sex with men makes them "promiscuous" or a "slut". These are unhealthy and weird culturally conditioned attitudes which demean women as "sluts". I like the way the Wendat viewed sex better.

The Wendat language had no words for "innocence" or "guilt" also. they literally did not experience those emotions. This was an aboriginal society prior to contact or influence from Europeans.

Here's a link to the article. https://www.fairobserver...t-come-with-guilt-21347/

Interesting. Do they still have such an open attitude today, or have the colonials succeeded in caging them?

I'm 100% convinced that the more open your attitude towards sex is, the less likely you are to ever experience problems like porn addiction or sexual obsessions.

Interesting indeed.



Yes, I totally agree with that. Guess the way I've been conditioned by propaganda, the socium and other influences gave way to that problem in me.

So far I've completely laid off the porn and honestly I don't even crave it at all. But also I've got a lot of stuff happening in my life and I actually don't even think about sex at all.

We shall see how far that goes.

What if you can't get sex and are trying to fill that void with porn?

I think the chance of not being able to get sex will also be smaller if you have a more open attitude.

What if you're not able to get sex, BECAUSE you are filling a void with porn?

In clinical practice something is defined as a "disorder" when it impedes or interferes with normal daily functioning. Things like drug addiction, sex addiction, and addiction to adrenaline or risky behavior have been recognized for a long time, but we've seen a lot of new disorders being added to the literature in the last decade or so: porn addiction, social media addiction, mmorpg/gaming addictions, etc. Modern technology gives us access to novelty in heretofore unprecedented forms, and as outlined in the first post, this is actually physically changing our brains, in addition to the less easily measured social, psychological, and psychic effects.

Many people can and do watch porn (or cruise facebook or play WoW or use drugs) without it interfering with their daily obligations, they go to work and take care of their families and have intimate relationships with their partners, thus they are not recognized as having a disorder and it can be reasonably argued that the pornography (or social media or gaming or gambling or drug use) is not problematic. However the neural correlates still apply, it's still physically altering the brain.

Porn is a fairly unique situation because sexuality is such a base urge in humans and visual arousal is very much a hard-wired lower brain function. The super stimulation of endlessly abundant and novel porn is wholly new thing however, and the dopamine down regulation is on par with stimulant or opiate abuse.

The means of access contributes strongly to the desensitization effect as well. When you surf to one of the big porn sites you are immediately met with some seriously hardcore imagery. The search suggestions are also heavily geared to lead one toward ever more raunchy and/or taboo imagery. A huge amount of available porn is extremely degrading, violent, or repulsive to provide ever more intense shock and novelty to an already desensitized brain.

The industry itself is horrendous. There have been several recent Netflix documentaries such as Hot Girls Wanted and After Porn Ends that delve into the behind the scenes reality of the porn industry and help offer some perspective on exactly what it takes keep that novel fetish-based content consistently available to the masses.

The effect on youth has been mentioned as well, and this is where it's truly astounding. Erectile dysfunction rates in young men have been increasing exponentially, and while data is lacking as to whether porn use is a direct cause, there are some strong correlations. The extreme and often degrading sexual acts commonly encountered in pornography have largely become normalized among younger generations that have grown up with consistent access to porn, and in addition the effects on the developing brain, this is contributing to a warped sense of sexuality and relationships.

While porn can be used in a healthy or productive manner, it's usually not. There is little to lose and much benefit to giving up pornography, or at least understanding the personal and social implications involved and reorienting your personal viewing habits accordingly. One person won't change the industry, but a little personal responsibility and self-discipline can lead to healthier mind and body, and more fulfillment both in personal relationships and between the sheets.

Something is defined a disorder, when it's published in the DSM-V or ICD-10.
Disorders are always culturally bound. Also, some psychotics might not feel sick or impaired.
Do you know they originally wanted to add "Road Rage" as a disorder?



Maybe to you.
To ME this sounds incredibly backwards and frigid. One of the incredible advantages of Porn is that it's enabling you to experience a fantasy, something you might not consider doing with you partner.

@dragonrider



That is a common theory among fapstronauts. I can only speak for myself and tell you that porn abstinence and nofap for several months has mostly created misery for me.