Ever since I have done aya 12 or so times in ritual form in Peru. When I smoke DMT or Changa at pre-breakthrough I get a little clarity on the way up..

Recently it seems like it is telling me to concentrate on things that don't need concentration?

First time I left my house in a week after spending time with my wife and kids was "Get back home to your wife and kids". Which really ruined the night for me.. as I kept getting closer, the louder the message got. Just like with Aya, I realize while "under" there is nothing I can do "right then" so I try to "put a pin" in everything I am compelled to do until the experience is over since if it is important. It will be important when I am sober as well.

One of the 2 messages was solid.. "Attempting to do 30 things will make all 30 fail".

However, the family one made it so I couldn't continue smoalking. The messages were loud and clear and had an extreme urgency.

The only thing I can think of is "fear" possibly, I have heard of the subconscious fighting against ego death, but I have had ego (what felt like real death) at least 10 of my 12 Aya experiences and was able to surrender just fine.

Anyone else had their subconscious lead them astray? It's usually spot-*******-on. I talked to wife and she thinks I'm spending a ton of time with the kids and she is happy, so not sure what the "be with the family" is about other than a diversion from fear or something else.. or maybe I do feel like I am still not spending enough time. Not really sure here..

It has never been like that before, in every case when I get that clarity the message is always valid..


Thoughts?

Thoughts?

Maybe that is the problem. Too many mind. The mind just wants to wander. It can be right... but it can also be wrong in many instances.

Sounds like a lot of worrying. If the thoughts are repetitive, it is likely just the mind doing it's thing, creating scenarios and problems where none exist.

If you really do feel like you are not spending enough time with the family then spend more time with them. Nothing is ever wrong with spending quality time with those you love.

Sounds like a question only you can answer for yourself.

It's ok for messages to be wrong or off track. Not everything needs to be disected and analysed.

So following "my/its'" advice has really been helpful over the last few years. I spent more time with the family today than goofing off so maybe that will help. THe other thoughts were, it's a new place with new people and I was out of my comfort zone, even though they are great folks. Or just straight up subconscious fear.

I get that not every part of an experience needs to have analysis, but I never felt like "I" was off when I started lecturing myself... The further away from it I get, the more I think there is more to it, *not* like from an esoteric perspective. But rather something my subconscious is aware of that I am not. So going with it for now.

I appreciate the time for the feedback, I will take that in consideration. Going on vacation in a few weeks and plan on letting all of the nonsense go for that week

Like DmnStr8, says, there's every reason to cherish each moment you spend with your kids, especially when they're very young. That time is worth more than gold. In recent years my hyperspace time has dwindled to a tiny fraction of what it once was. Being with the family has been enough of a trip in itself.


Sounds like the story of my life The key is linking the diverse things to one overall purpose. Then it starts to work out better.