So Ive been working my way towards a breakthrough experience using 1:1 enhanced leaf and a water pipe. My highest dosage would have been around 50mg (100mg Leaf) and I was thinking about how much control or consciousness I have at that point.

Because for me I stil feel I am able to fight the experience to a degree that defiantly would be enough to push me away from a potential breakthrough. My question is, Is there a point or dosage where no matter how aware, conscious, afraid or whatever you are that you have NO control over whether or not you breakthrough?

Because up to this point I feel as though I am holding myself back just because I have a hard time with letting go and embracing the experience (But thats another topic altogether)

I am lead to believe that at 50mg a breakthrough is possible but requires some willingness for the person. I dont want to simply go and do 150mg just because I want to breakthrough but I just want to see if anyone has anything to ad to what ive mentioned above.

Cheers and sorry for the somewhat vagueness of the topic.

No vagueness! This is an interesting topic and I can relate to what you are saying.

There is definitky this point for me. Especially with changa in dosages: 30-50mg dmt with strong harmala mix. Many times I have found myself completely without body,heart beat, breath and with a lost connection to the simple function of open my eyes. The motoric is not there anymore. This is total beyond control for me.

Majority of my experiences have been very similar (Loss of essentially all senses etc) But at the same time during and especially after I feel like there is a little voice in the back of my head saying "this is too weird there's all this stuff happening resist it". I guess my thought was; At what point does this voice have no say (Pun admittedly intentional) in how the experience plays out?

Ahoi mixcloudcorniaV7,

regarding to my experiences there is no such point.

If you like to hold on, hold on and did you ask yourself, holding onto where or what? If there is nothing, there is all, is one. To me, higher dosages are not necessarily a guarantor for a breakthrough.

Please stay conscious, a comatose state is not something you are looking for!

There is no need to use the crowbar on (the idea of) oneself. The language you are looking for is love, trust and acceptance. Learn to swim with the current and the imagined boundaries appear more and more soluble, until realizing that the current is oneself. I don't know what you expect from a "breakthrough" experience but to me, ultimately there is no DMT needed. Dissolve (the idea of separation) in every now and let it all flow inside and outside of you, no holding back of anything, full power!!!! Reality is just ripping me apart...

More precise tips seem to be:
*Try meditation while sober: Just sit and let yourself experience everything what is happening now, totally open up for every aspect of the now, try not to judge or interprete, just feel, everything has its own qualities, allow all and everything to arise, to be and to change, keep focus and come back to the now again and again
*Make changa or have extra harmala (different forms, f.e. tea from rue, smoke rue, harmala hcl from rue, ...) before smoalking your leaf mix
*Have fun in what you are doing and keep heart and mind together

Happy and safe travels, tseuq

Meditation is a big thing I plan on trying next time. I think I get the general gist of what you are saying, even if I really don't. Thanks for the less logical and rational feedback

It ("the matrix of self" ) is all a mind-made-up-thingy.

The things we think to hold on are just our own ideas and believes (of f.e. what is real and who am I) or maybe it is mamas hand, while burning happily in ultra high solution in here and now, as the infinite ongoing motion of change, where and what ever that is.

Love, tseuq

Once there is only love.

Yes.

But ..there's no clear cut answer there that I can give.

I'm not sure how long you've been working with dmt, though I know that for me over these past 9-10 years working and smoking this stuff - the level, intensity, depth of experience, etc isn't entirely contingent on the fact of dosage, resistance, etc. I'm sure there's some amount of driving force behind set, setting, resistance, etc .. but I think that there's a point to where these parts turn back.

Sensitivity can also change drastically over time to these experiences ..the moar one works with it (ime).

I've taken dosages before that were less than what I'd done previously ..only to end up being cast to depths beyond some of the higher dosages experiences I'd had..

At those higher dosages it can become a spin of the wheel also. Very powerful..


Also, you'd mentioned that you were having a hard time embracing the experiences, etc ...let me ask you this - why? Like ...why are you having a hard time embracing it?

<3

relinquish control

Oh yes me too!

The point at wich you feel you are no longer in control changes over time. The more familiar you become with the psychedelic experience, the more you will feel that you can navigate your way through the experience.
But only up to a point.

That is true for the consensus reality experience as well though.
And the more you're willing to realise that, the more able you'll be to let go of all the controls.

This is sweet.


Why?

Imho, mindfulness can enhance the state of no-mind. Even if you shoot out pretty far and get totally puzzled (whiteout or any experience you might not be able to remember or grasp - with mind!), the reflex/need to switch attention back onto mind will start as soon as possible (fct: surivival). Thus, these moments can be pretty "short" and unable to remember and maybe one believes to have been "in control" the whole time, whereas the first moments was nothing left which could remember at all. It just is.

I guess, these experiences can improve our focus (like sports or anything else we do where we totally immerse and forget about ourself for the moment) and thus, enables to let go of mind and to come back to what just is. I guess, it is not an increase in neurophysiological sensitivity, more a decrease in ones need to ("automatically" - conditioning?) cling back to mind but keep openness.

Still, to me, control is concept, is idea, whatever I can think of, even myself, is imagination, believe, these are the walls of my subjective cave ("matrix of self" ), what seems to create a seeming stable reality, at least most of the time. "Self" - A world on its own, based on an idea of separation, beautiful.

Brrrp.. just some more mind fuzzling and puzzling, heartly, tseuq

[edit:] To add more to the paradox.. .. maybe on an integral idea, experiencing it all at the same time. Awareness of all one and being separated at the same time....

hmm still didnt experience full breakthrough so this topic is really interesting for me. The furthest i went was this glass fractal horizon. Still i was aware that i took drug and somwhere far im in my house lying on bed. After this experience i was wondering is this always like this or you can loose "memmory" of being yourself when you are already breakingthrough?