Hello,
Halloween was the 20th anniversary of my very bad LSD trip. It was kind of symbolically important to me to consume acid again this Halloween with my husband and soulmate Nemo Amicus. We consumed doses that were over a quarter of a century old from a film can in our freezer.
As seems to generally be the case, when I combine DMT with LSD it is the DMT tryps that are the stand-out parts of the LSD trip.
As we were coming up we vaporized DMT. I had some yellowish-white, oily residue in my pipe that looked like 15-20 mg max (though I am not confident at my eyeballing skills) and added another 45 mg. I had not yet had a breakthrough combining these two molecules in my brain and thought I'd try for it . . .I tried to ready myself for anything.
We had a dual-recliner couch to launch from and the recliner seems an ideal position. It already feels like you might be in a rocket . . .So, I took about three good hits before I had to surrender the pipe and torch to Nemo Amicus. I was completely loosing it. My body was very frozen and slow-mo and the room was dissolving and breaking up into watery waves. I could hear the carrier wave sounding steady and building in the distance in my right ear. When I can hear that sound and I am still in the room I know on every level of my being that I am really going to be in for it this time.
According to Nemo Amicus (I do not recall this at all), I gasped, "Oh God!" as I handed him the pipe and lay back.
Well, antrocles, I guess I got what I deserved for trying to counsel you to do something you learned years if not decades ago . . . LOL
I closed my eyes, relaxed a bit and BOOM! No lead up. No one minute of feeling increasing heartbeat, vibration, psychological pressure, etc. No struggle, no resistance possible. No heartbeat, no breath, no body. No ego. No self. No history. Very little memory. I did not remember that I had just smoked DMT and launched from a reclining position on my couch next to my husband of 21 years. I was dead.
I was dead and could feel the ecstatic, mystical energy. I was dead and did not care - it did not bother me. I did not have to relax into it or tell myself to try to relax and hope for the best. Timelessness, playful, insane, higher dimensional. No life as we understand it in this realm was here. Yet everything was alive, everything was synesthetic
There was frenetically and delightfully energetic and visible music here, very weird, ethereal and highly distorted. The music created the landcape or "reality." The reality was preposterously colored. The background color was a deep, saturated blue, having it's own inner light source emanating equally radiantly from each and every point. No light was coming from the "sky" or any particular direction. All areas of this reality had colors that glowed brightly with their own inner light.
The texture and layout of this reality I can only begin to describe as triangular or pyradimal. The land was not flat. It spiked and jagged up and down in triangular and pyradimal "mountains" all around.
Yet, the overall impression was one of being on a large athletic field for some unknown reason. Visually, I do recall seeing some white lines on the (like yardage lines on a football field) blue, jagged field. So,these white yardage lines created strips (though in a 3-D jagged mountain environment) of blue background reality.
There were playful entities everywhere! The fabric of the place was partially composed of moving, varying, 2-D, ayahuascero type art "primitive" figures. Very small, colorful figures, very small entities, dancing and moving around in small arc-like configurations all around me on this white striped, blue triangle-mountain field of timelessness.
This festive and good-humored realm didn't exhibit, it was The Perfect Synesthesia. Everything was synesthetic, with the audio input of the music being the focus. The blue triangle mountains moved up and down, left and right, pulsing synesthetically in time with the music. The tiny multi-colored, 2-D entity figures moved in upside-down shaped U arcs.
Although the surface of the "reality" and the tiny entities were 2-D, the fabric of the triangular/pyradimal landscape was deeply 3-D and hyper-dimensional. So, there would be little pyramid shapes popping up and out synesthetically to the music, while the 2-D entities would frolic on the triangular surfaces of the mountains. The mountains would be anywhere from inches to miles high. They not only came out of the "ground" but also the "sky," the "walls" and the other mountains themselves.
I saw a four-legged, 2-D animal-like entity arcing near me and thought of cats. As soon as the thought occurred, a small off-white stick figure like entity appeared holding a square-shaped "purse." Out of this purse arced an orange, 2-D kitty which started dancing and prancing in arcs. All entities/objects were smiling, radiating joy, rapture and energy. The Perfect Synesthesia in a timeless, numinous, stunning, higher dimensional realm that was farther beyond the world of the living than we are from the Andormeda Galaxy.
After a few consensual reality minutes I began to come down. At first there was no change in the vision or ecstatic feeling. Instead, it involved a partial return of ego and memory. The moment I realized I was on a DMT tryp, the synesthesia became intensely tactile as well as visual. All of a sudden, aspects of the music started being perceived by my reconstructed self as strings or spider webs dripping and vibrating onto my face and head. This was my least favorite part of this experience. I am not a big fan of tactile hallucinations. Nontheless, I am very grateful for this particular experience as it was yet a new way to experience synesthesia.
I began to come down back into my body. I was amazed. I was ecstatically energized. I was alive! Absurd. Unbelievable. Each breath was a sweet miracle. Even better, my soulmate, Nemo Amicus was right there next to me. Bliss! "It's great to be alive!" I gasped.
Later on during the trip we came to the peak period and decided to vaporize DMT again. Due to visual distortions I had trouble vaporizing the 35mg plus residue and got a poor first hit. With Nemo Amicus' help I was able to get a monster second hit and decent third hit.
I lay back, closed my eyes and saw ripples of blackness. No real color. I felt myself floating up and out of my body. The ripples were fading and the blackness was becoming complete. I was floating. My ego/self were gone but I was not dead. I had no memory, no history, no self, no mind and no ego. It was just that these things did not exist, had never existed. How could something be lost or dead that had never existed in the first place?
I was floating in a sea of thick, liquid warmth. . . floating and rocking. There was nothing to see. It was mainly just a feeling of warmth, comfort, floating and rocking. Everything was taken care of. I had no needs or concerns or self. I was no one, nothing, not even a mote. There was no thinking or language here. It was all about a feeling.
I can only surmise that I wound up back in the womb somehow. There was no birth or light. Just darkness, comfort, floating in viscous liquid . . .a most unusual experience indeed.
The rest of the trip was wonderful, but again, it is the DMT that made it perhaps one of the best trips of my life . . .
Peace & Love,
Pandora
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU