Hey there everyone. Glad to be here. Little backstory here; I'm 25, American, and half lost in life at the moment. I've spent the last 5 years on and off opiates, and am working with a year and a couple months off again at this point. On new years eve, 2016, my best friend passed away from a combination of methadone and alcohol, which absolutely wrecked my psyche. Since that day i haven't been able to even think about using, quite possibly a huge blessing in disguise.

I attended college for pharmacology. Completed my bachelors, and promptly got kicked out of my grad program following a heroin overdose in the bathroom next to the chem lab.

I started out down this path young, very much so; too young. I had my first experience with Cannabis at 7 or 8. My father was a meth addict, and my mother and alcoholic. I turned to my older brother as my only source of a real family, and he's who introduced me to this whole mess of an experience I've had over the past 15 years. While i used certain substances when I was younger, patterns of substance abuse didn't show up until much later (17 or 18 ).

My first experience with mushrooms was at 14. It was so utterly spiritually profound that I started getting into eastern philosophy searching for a meaning to existence. I found something within myself with that first experience that sparked a lifelong search for the truth. In my naeivity of youth, I thought that psychedelics on their own could offer this answer.


Anyways, I haven't taken a psychedelic outside of Ketamine, MDA, or DMT since i was probably 19 or 20. They were just starting to get to be a lot to deal with for hours on end. I went through a phase from 16-19 where I was taking far too much LSD, about twice a week. Ever since then, not only psychedelics, but even stimulants have caused a lot of anxiety when I've attempted to try again.

At this point in life, i have a beautiful 8 month old daughter and my amazing wife. I work at my family's business and am currently taking classes to sharpen up my programming knowledge to pursue a career in the tech industry. Spiritually however, i have a gaping hole. I'm not here so much to learn substance related things, as i feel i have ample experience with just about all things related to that. Contrary, i'm here to see what i can learn about human consciousness and spirit.

As far as hobbies; I've got a passion for botany. Specifically Trichocereus sp., Cannabis, and Papaver Somniferum. Aside from that all of my time is spent studying, at work, or raising my daughter.

I'm really excited to be here, and hope learn all i can from you all!

Sounds like you are a strong person for having gone through these difficulties in your life! Concentrate on that for sure! Only allow that which empowers you into your life!

Congrats on the kiddo! My daughter has taught me so much! She is my greatest teacher to be sure!

Thanks for being here and sharing something so personal with us. I am glad you made it through it all and it sounds like your doing good now. I hope you find what you are looking for and wish you luck on your healing!

Welcome to the Nexus!

It's been incredible to watch her grow. My wife had a very similar upbringing to my own, and it's been amazing to see the world through our daughter's eyes. Neither of us had a conventional childhood, so getting to re-experience it through McKennah (our daughter) has been beautiful.

Funny side-story relating to her name; before we knew we were expecting, we had finished off the last of the fumarate i had from a previous extraction. This was when she was probably 4-5 weeks along. When we found out she was pregnant, we picked out the names. It wasn't until she was born that her cousin made the joke of her name being McKennah and her being exposed to DMT in utero.



As far as my story, i embrace it. I've come to the point i can love myself regardless of past mistakes, and who i am at this point seems more centered than if i would have been "normal" for lack of a better phrase. Thank you for the welcome!

I can relate to your story...I cleaned up when my partner became pregnant and the moment I held my daughter my ability to love woke up. I spent 14 years bringing up two girls while my partner worked and though we are separated now, we have a good relationship. I'm working now and live with my daughters in London...
Welcome to the Nexus

Greetings!
You have def had a life with a pulse. And I can relate with alot of the things you have written ,like the passing of a friend and jaunts with various mind altering substances. The only difference is when I took the psychedelics at an early age like Mushrooms although potent as fuk , my maturity to see anything beyond a fun ride had not yet developed. I'd say that is because I had yet to understand empathy.
But anyways I see your a Botanist , I too like to grow all sorts of things ,fruits veges and naughty stuff and am having a problem with some Papaver Somniferum that I am growing Im not sure if its the soil or the watering or sunlight. Would I be able to chat with you about soil conditions maybe I am doing something wrong they are forever dwarf sized and on the brink of death.

Keeping it short , welcome to the Nexus and I hope you find what you are searching for .I too am a recent addition and hope to chat and read more of your interesting posts soon

Soil composition is about 95% of the effort it takes to grow Somniferums. Basic seed starting soil/potting soil is never enough. I'd be more than happy to see how i could help out though! Feel free to shoot me a PM