Hello everyone, I'm a new member on the nexus and wanted to post here to give a brief history of myself, my drug use, and my recent passion in psychedlics. I drank beyond excessively and did an embarrassing amount of drugs (mostly blow, adds, ecstasy, and prescription opiates) for about 3 years. I also tried LSD twice and mushrooms about 50 or so times over this period, having 2 great psychedelic experiences on mushrooms, but the rest occurring during a drug rampage and not having any lasting effect. All of this obviously lead to a downward spiral of my health and mental state. I ended going to a shrink and tried just about every perscription medication available, nothing gave me anywhere what I needed to overcome my severe depression, mood swings, and general crippling anxiety. I eventually ended up going into a multi-day manic state that would take years to recover from, and I after said state I decided enough was enough and I was done with prescription medication and alcohol abuse.
Fast forward almost 5 years and I am in a much better place. I no longer abuse drugs or alcohol (other than smoking weed everyday), I exercise, eat very well, and have a lot better control of myself. However I still am nowhere near where I want to be. About a month ago I was at a friend's house and took LSD for the first time in years. I took 150 ug of LSD and 150 mg MDMA and thus began the best experience I have had up til then. I had never felt so connected to the world and felt nothing but love for everything and everyone. This experience has completely changed me, I no longer feel broken and have hope for the future, it is truly indescribable. I am now filled with overwhelming certainty that psychedlics can be used as tools to overcome trauma and "mental blocks" that hold are currently holding me back. A Psychedlic chapter has opened in my life and I know it will never be the same.
Now the part you guys are actually interested in: I recently acquired 2 grams of DMT (yellow) and have smoked it several times but I am having trouble breaking through. I bought a glass vapor genie and practiced smoking weed out of it a hundred or so times to master it. After taking hits of 15, 20, 25, and 30 mg of the yellow DMT I was unable to breakthrough, but felt close on 30 mg. Yesterday I had the house to myself and decided I was going to do what it took to breakthrough. I took 100 ug of LSD and had a very intense trip for how little I took. After peaking I smoked 15, 20, 25 and then 45 mg hits of DMT from the vapor genie, it was completely magical and possibly one of the best highs I've ever experienced, but I still did not breakthrough. After I came down I was unfulfilled and still wanted to breakthrough. So I proceeded to take 4 grams of cubensis mushrooms, and waited for the peak. Once I was fully peaking I loaded up a 50 mg hit of DMT into the glass vapor genie, exhaled as much as possible, and took the largest hit of anything I have ever taken, and held it in for atleast 20 seconds. 7 years of smoking weed like Cheech and Chong had prepared me for this moment. My room became extremely pixelated and it felt like I was inside of a computer simulation. I started to feel the presence of other beings in my room but did not visually see anything. I was then catapulted out of my body and proceeded to blackout for a few seconds (I think). The next thing I remember are multiple entities telepathically communicating with me in an unkown language. I did not see said entities but felt that they were ancient aliens but also belonged to the earth. I began to think only in this unknown alien language and cannot think in English, but somehow I still understand this alien language/thought/telepathic communication. Suddenly these entities (3 I think) begin bombarding my mind with telepathic information, and my entire sense of self, time, body, and consciousness are ripped out from me (possibly ego death?). I slowly come back to reality but the possible ramifications of what just happened scared me more than I thought possible. Over the next hour I proceed to only think in this alien language, but with a loosening grasp over what it actually means. I was scared that I had gone insane and tried to start grounding myself in reality with some food, some beer, some tv, and rational thought began to slowly return to me. As I'm writing this it is the day after this experience and I feel as if my brain has been rebooted, I'm able to think in English again and I'm very at peace, and do not even feel capable of feeling a negative or angry emotion. I do feel bit off though, so I do apologize if my grammar or spelling is not up to par.
Well that is about this best introduction I think I could do right now, I would love to hear anyone's thoughts on my experiences, and I would really love to hear any suggestions to as how I can fully breakthrough to ideally have visual contact with autonomous entities, I have an overwhelming feeling they have something important to tell me. Also infeel visually challenges as far as hallucinating and we wondering if you guys have experience mixing ketamine or nitrous with dmt to enhance the visuals. Thanks for reading!