I joined the Nexus almost ten years ago, but somehow I have avoided becoming (or trying to become) a full member. In some ways this mirrors my attitude in other parts of life, where I stay on the sidelines when I should be part of the action. This has been changing, slowly, but surely. I am ready.

Why am I asking to be a full member now? Just as I'm finding myself, I am losing someone that is dear to me. He is dying of cancer. He was diagnosed over two years ago, but I know that his days are numbered. I need to support him in these final days, but I need support for myself too. For some reason I thought of the Nexus.

I am a father of two kids and my use of psychedelics is severely restrained these days. Nevertheless, I remain open and I am ever-seeking the path.

Thank you for your consideration. Looking forward.

I am saddened that you are losing a loved one.

All I have to offer in the way of support are some words on this screen, but I will hope for the best, for you and for yours.

Thanks for the note, it really is appreciated.

As you might imagine, seeing someone in the process of dying has made it impossible for me to ignore my own mortality. I've never been "scared" of death. I've accepted it. However, now that it has been on my mind, I have been more concerned about leaving the world prematurely: whilst having unfinished business. Everything feels like it needs to have happened yesterday. I wish not to put anything off anymore.

Welcome back

I'm sorry to hear about that someone that's close to you. Thankfully procedures and certain therapies/treatments are available now, though I know that some forms and stages of cancer can be too aggressive, to the point of little being able to be done at that point. <3 to you. Hopefully you can find time in the future to take the dive. Voted.

Unfortunately, cancer and other diseases are becoming far too common in recent decades. I too have had loved ones pass away from, what I believe to be, preventable diseases.

There are many options available to the open-minded when it comes to disease, sometimes you just have to take that leap of not-faith to explore other possibilities.

I apologize if this gets lengthy and I'm not trying to tell you or those close to you what to do or give any formal medical advice. This is based of my personal experience. I'm just trying to give information to people that it may be able to help, like what was done for me. Paying it forward, if you will.

Diet and nutrition, is the cornerstone of anyone's health. Withh weight-loss dominating the category, it's hard and quite frustrating to find good information for someone like myself who doesn't need to lose weight. I'm the exact opposite. I need to gain weight and tell any doctor you aren't healthy when you are 5'10, 130ishlbs, and physically fit. They will laugh you out of the office or try to shove crazy pills down your throat. Good nutritional information is hard to come by.

I was already gluten free due to an intolerance, but I still wasn't right. I was told about a book that explains the science behind our gut and how what we eat affects us. Pun intended, I knew in my gut something was wrong. This isn't just another diet book. Its very informative and makes sense, at least to me. It changed my life. It's called "The Plant Paradox" by Steven R Gundry.

Also pertaining to diet, there is fasting. Fasting studies have shown that when you fast, your normal cells go into a protection mode while cancer cells do not. This can make chemo more effective while protecting normal cells. I won't cite any research, but it is out there and I encourage you to look for it. This is also contrary to what most doctors say to do before chemo.

I'm not saying these or any other methods are 'cures,' but modern medicine is failing on many fronts and some people don't even know or refuse to try any alternatives.

I'm sorry that your are going through the same situation I, and so many others have had to bare, but don't give up or let those loved ones give up because someone says it can't be done.
Explore every avenue that has even the faintest glimmer of hope.

I'll end it with this...

"Do not go gentle into that good night" - Dylan Thomas

Thanks for the responses. To answer some of the questions and to clarify: We certainly did explore many of the alternative and natural healing methods. For all I know they helped. He was also "lucky" in that he qualified for a new targeted medication... It worked amazingly for several months... until it stopped working.

It's getting harder every day. I'm certain it's just a matter of weeks or days now.

I'm sorry to hear that. That's how it went with a friend of mine. She was on chemo that worked for a while, but then it didn't.

Update: he passed away. As strange as it is, it was a relief to his family. I think people just couldn't handle it anymore.

I'm shaken up. One thing that sticks with me is how gentle he was in his life. For some reason I can't stop thinking about that one particular thing - probably because I'm not as gentle as I wish to be. I'm taking this opportunity to make a vow of gentleness: I will strive to never hurt someone again, be it with my words or my touch. That is the least that I can do to preserve his memory.

Death is a new beginning and a liberation from this plane of suffering and pain. It is generally harder for those loved ones left behind, feeling a hole left in their lives with the passing of a loved one. I know very well and it ain't easy, so please be as gentle with yourself and the loved ones that you still have alive with you.

I have been specifically focusing on practicing gentleness in my everyday life for the last few years. It helps and feels good. Sometimes I slip up, but after practicing for quite a while, like anything you practice for a while, I become quickly aware of the slip up and gently nudge myself back into gentle mode. It is very important to be gentle with yourself first and the external expressions of that self-gentleness will emanate out from you more and more easily over time.

Coincidentally, before even seeing this particular post of yours today, I had given you an upvote for full membership yesterday due to your gentleness in a post of yours that I read yesterday.

If there is one thing that we need in this world right now, it's more gentleness. And not in some mealy-mouthed, limp-hand-shake kind of way; we need sincere, strong, integrity-filled gentleness.

May you find your Peace ListenPlease.

Thank you for that, beautifully said. I agree particularly with your idea of gentleness as coming from a place of strength. Indeed, my roughness comes from where I feel out-of-control and somehow helpless.

Here's to fighting the good fight with kindness, from a place of wealth and plenty.