This was easily one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had, more so than most DMT experiences simply because of it’s foreign nature and physical discomfort. I will do my best to depict the incident as clearly as possible.

Sweet Sally came to me some months ago as a gift and since that time I have watched her grow with eager anticipation, curiosity, and intimidation – my only experiences with her previously having been smoked extracts many years ago resulting in somewhat confusing and terrifying visions and bodily feelings. Having researched her for quite some time, I felt I had enough knowledge to partake of her in a more respectful manner.

The space was set, I said my prayers, and picked 30 fresh leaves for communion with the spirit. I handed the leaves to the most beautiful woman in the world, my life partner, the shamaness, so she may waft them over white copal before handing me each leaf individually. I slowly chewed each leaf into tiny plantlets, making sure to take my time and let the juices sit in my mouth for at least 1-2 minutes before swallowing. At first I didn’t mind the bitterness of the leaves, but as I gulped down the first ten, the sensation began to change.

I was determined to finish all 30 leaves no matter the circumstance. At about the halfway mark, I noticed my consciousness begin to waver. The flickering of the two altar candles became drastically brighter, and I felt a warm, loopy liveliness creep into my gut. My mouth began to dry and each leaf became harder and harder to ingest, let alone chew into mush and hold. Water was essential.

I remembered this feeling from before: the space around me appeared multidimensional, yet 2-dimensional like a cartoon. I let out ecstatic laughs as I struggled to munch down yet another leaf, almost forgetting what I was doing. Now I was the cartoon.

My guide remained calm and kept handing me leaves as I finished another. In the midst of confusion, and having doubts about whether or not I would be able to devour them all, “How many more?”

“You’ve eaten 23 so far, so almost there.”

A cosmic giggle of sorts – synchronicity at its pinnacle – brought joy and childlike feelings of innocent tomfoolery into my being. I kept laughing, the special entheogenic laugh that spouts from ingesting high doses of sacred substance, though this was eerily different than any other spirit I’ve come to know before. I wanted to play the role of court jester; I made jokes about the leaves of which I cannot remember, though naturally the playful resonance made itself known in the room.

As the candlelight brightened, my eyes became increasingly sensitive. I was feeling groovy. The metallic, machinery of inter-dimensional mechanisms behind closed lids were obvious, yet somehow out of reach. With great difficulty I finished the final leaf, the largest one, feeling both disoriented and highly precarious to the penetrating light.

I asked my lover to blow out the candles - ardently awaiting the visions to ensue – and my experience transformed into something unexpected. I lay back on my bed and closed my lids, anticipating the bright lights and colors I had expected from one of McKenna’s recollections of the experience. To my dismay, the first thing I noticed, was like a sharp and invasive pain at the exact point where my eye covers hit the ball. In a conveyer-belt fashion, this pain kept going “click. click. click.” up against the inside of my eyelids. To my “right” and in front of me, internal space, I could perceive a sort of cursory entity who was both gorging and creating dimly geometric units of energy (for lack of better syntax), in exact cadence with the painful click-clack on my eyes.

“I don’t understand, this is so strange!” I kept saying.

Hinging and pulling gravitational contraptions, intramural, foreign, meddlesome cognizance impregnated me with fear, apprehension, and a longing for an explanation to be made. I felt disoriented, desiring alleviation from the pain. I was in the presence of infinite entities, destroying and building simultaneously, all the cellular blocks of psychophysical existence in, out, and around me. I didn’t want to give in to whatever was happening to me and then I remembered that resistance often makes things worse.

So I gave in to the pain, the agitation, and the annoyance in hopes that my experience would unfold in a more delicate manner. I had a recurring sense that the visions were just out of reach. So, attempting to follow this vacuum-train being who seemed to be coordinating it all I spoke aloud, “Show me! Show me what’s on the other side! I want to see!”

The only solace I could find was the soft voice of my guide as she brought rosemary sprigs to my nose and forehead, singing as if to an infant.

“STOP with my eyes!” I kept saying, yet no mitigation. In hindsight, it was as if my eyes were being ripped apart and the visions were flowing out of them, created through them, so I could not see them fully. My lids felt like the rough side of Velcro, open or closed.

I wanted this to be over, I wanted peace, I wanted sobriety. I have never felt such a discerning quality of intense pinpointed anguish before in my life. It was absurd. Shamaness blew tobacco over me and continued to sing while I very slowly regained my wits about me.

I puffed some tobacco, ate an apple, a banana, and brushed my whole mouth out twice for the astringent coating of Salvia’s essence was almost unbearable. Wearily I lay while the goddess prepared a fresh meal. Grounding is what I needed, grounding and the amenity of my own home in this physical reality.

The tiresome affliction did not subside until mid-day the following day after some nutrition, exercise, and a good deep sweat from the dry sauna.

Humbled by her power, Ska Pastora demands utmost respect and is not to be taken lightly.

Conclusions:

I still am not really sure what to make of this experience. I will meet with Grandmother in the near future; maybe she will give me clarity. The one message I received from this was that I am to continue my work with Aya. In subsequent journeys with this powerful plant I will not fast beforehand, and will come to her with no expectations. I believe my fatal mistake was having too many expectations based on my findings with oral salvia use.

I hope this report finds any well that wish to enjoin with the strange and beautiful Pastora. Respect her, care for her, and may your journeys be more blissful and enlightening as I hope mine to be forthcoming.

Thanks for the report.

I have one question about the white copal, where you ingesting any of it or any smoke from it that could have been transferred by the leaves? Eye pain is a possible (but rare) side effect of copal according to this.

I've never heard about eye pain being experienced with salvia before. Interesting.

Thanks for the report.

30 leaves sounds like a lot! For me, 4 can be too strong.

Loveall, I was not ingesting the copal in any way, though i suppose it's possible that the smoke could have irritated my eyes. It felt like the pain was associated with the salvia experience.

Jagube, it WAS a lot... haha. From what a gathered in research a good dose was about that much. I didn't notice much after eating just a few. Typically smaller doses of entheogens tend to give me a more unpleasant experience; breaking through that point usually leads to more insight and less time spent "in-between". However, this may not be the case with Salvia... maybe i'll try a much smaller amount next time and see how that feels.