I have been hearing a lot about micro-dosing for years, and, like most of us, have ups and downs in my life as well as the occasional, untimely life catastrophe. I have been meaning to try micro-dosing for quite some time, but have always come up with a reason not to, first and foremost being what one member here referred to as silicon valley mind-hack "douchebaggery" (paraphrasing, I believe, apologies if i didn't get that exactly right). Meaning that silicon valley "types (whatever that really means...) are using micro-dosing as a kind of Ritalin/cocaine productivity boost, which I find ethically questionable (more on that in a later post).

At any rate, never a better time than NOW.

I will begin with mushrooms and will do an approximately 10 week trial, following the schedule I see repeated on many websites, but shifted by a day due to my "life" schedule.

So that would be:

Monday: DOSE

Tuesday: REFLECT

Wednesday: off

Thursday: DOSE

Friday: REFLECT

Saturday:off

Sunday: off


I will be using homegrown, dried mushrooms that have been in the freezer for a year or more. I have Golden teacher, Orissa and F+.

The first doses will be with Golden teacher and will be 0.2g.

Stay tuned for more and feel free to ask any questions.

(I am in the first hour of my first micro-dose, and will report in later; but my first observation is this: it hadn't occurred to me to post a log until about 15 mins ago, shortly after started feeling the first physical effects.)

Cheers,

JBArk

I have come up with a formula for evaluating the effects of micro-dosing; I will list the activities of the day, other substances taken and a scale from -5 to +5 to evaluate relevant sensations or effects (after the micro-dosing), with 0 being neutral and +5 being the highest level. Following this will be a brief written account. Where there is a range posted in the scale, it will be in chronological order and used to mark a change in states.

This may end up getting very personal (we'll see...), but I really want to explore and document all the effects of micro-dosing and have a scale to look back on and compare. I am a very serious road cyclist (top level amateur racing in my age group), and this is very similar to my training diary - which, as I expect this log will be, is most useful after the fact when patterns of behaviour, sensations and outlook are considered.

Please let me know if you think anything you think should be added - I can always go back and add them retroactively, as long as memory serves and too much time has not passed.


Monday December 4th, 2018

DAY 1 DOSING DAY 1

Dose: 0.2g homegrown golden teacher (moderately weak at higher doses)

activities: Organizing my home office; lunch, training ride, fight with partner (over lingering conflict that has lasted several days)

other substances: caffeine 3 double espressos, a swig of scotch after dinner

spiritual: 1
mental: -3
overall physical -2 to +3
sexual drive/ability +3/-3
outlook: 0 to +3
sleep: 0
fatigue: +4
stress: +4 to -1
visuals: +1
overall effect rating: -2 to +3

First day and I am really not sure what to expect before dosing. I have done a fair amount of research and have considerable experience with higher doses, but I am sceptical that I could be productive and focused on even the slightest of doses.

After about an hour, I start to feel the slight tightening of the throat I always feel with the onset of mushrooms, along with a little dizziness. I am straightening out and organizing my home office, and I end up having a great deal of difficulty concentrating on organizing books by category on their shelves, returning to the same pile of books several times, forgetting where I was in my stacking. It bothered me for a while, and then I stopped worrying about it, focusing on the humour of it and dispelling, slightly, my constant need to do things with speed to rush to get to the next task; in other words, I settled in to concentrate solely on the task at hand, instead of anticipating the next ones - I was in the moment, not caring how long it took and determined to enjoy it, even if it seemed I was making mistakes or repeating things.

I stopped to have lunch, and, as others have reported, noticed the taste of things more than I ordinarily would have, even at this small a dose. My after lunch coffee tasted particularly delicious!

A short training ride followed: 1.5 hrs, 40 kms, 4 x a 10km loop with several 400m- 1.6 km climbs. I felt short of breath at first, and I wasn't sure I was going to continue. The warmup was harder than usual, feeling like my breathing was constricted. I pushed on, and after about half an hour I started feeling stronger, and pushed it. My breathing was better and I felt a surge of energy. The next 45 mins I felt very strong and not a bit tired.

I got home, had a shower and went out to do groceries. Once again, I felt in no hurry at all and uncharacteristically took my time checking out all the produce and the various items on the stocked shelves. It took me about 10 mins to find the carrots, [passing them multiple times before finally laying eyes on them. (which ordinarily would have driven me mad!). It was one of the funnest and slowest grocery shopping trips I have ever had. In fact, I realized when I got to the cash that I did not have my wallet, so I had the cashier put my stuff aside while I walked home and got it and returned by bike.

Ordinarily I would have persecuted myself for my own stupidity, but it barely bothered me this time and after I got over my initial knee-jerk irritation with myself, I saw the humour in it.

In the evening was a 1.5 hour near blow-out my my partner; things had been stewing for days, and we have been in conflict off and on for several months. I remained relatively level-headed, and we came to a resolution after nearly exhausting ourselves in the conflict. She shared some very intimate and difficult details of her childhood with me. Part of the argument was about her showing her vulnerability (she generally clams up and shuts me out), so I was very thankful for this and it went a long way to re-endearing us to one another.

I wanted to have sex, but didn't follow through because I was exhausted (so was she!) and I didn't feel like I would really be into it once we started - more of a theoretical horniness than a real loin-felt one, I guess. (more on sex in another post ) We fell asleep in each others arms, spent but partly renewed.



Thanks for reading DAY 1


JBArk

I'm interested to see how this goes. I am going to start micro-dosing 4-aco-dmt soon, because I feel I can get a more accurate dosage than with fungi.

I’d be curious to see your results. I chose fungus because I have a lot of it from the remains of several harvests in my freezer, so it is readily available, I am looking into getting ahold of some LSD for a second 10 week trial, but from what I have read and heard the results are not that different at these doses. The clear advantage, as you point out, is the accuracy of measuring the doses. For now I am mixing caps and stems randomly to make the dose as close to 0.2g as possible, and I will need to switch strains several times, but I may blend them in a grinder if I start to feel variations in the dosage.

Thanks for reading,

JBArk

This is awesome man, I'm enjoying reading what you've put up so far.

The part about the rushing with speed to get whatever it is done - done, I do the same thing pretty often [when it has to do with work typically, sometimes other tasks non-related]. Funny you mentioned that I've found that in dosages of .25-.50 it does much the same thing for me in terms of 'enjoying every activity, every moment, living fully and taking my time with things'. Cannabis does this for me too with 1-2 tokes. Got all the time in the world..

And I feel similarly to how you said when you cycled - slow start for me, then as the blood gets goin and things are firing off - seems I had more energy than I knew what to do with [i've done quite a bit of crossfit style workouts/exercises while on .25-.50g].

Definitely staying tuned in. Cheers

Thanks Tatt!!

Yes, the first dose definitely slowed my world a bit. It was a real “smell the flowers” kinda day. At the tail end of the second micro-dose as I write this, but I only have my phone so I will wait to post the write ups when I have access to a real keyboard (I typed one up this morning, laboriously corrected all the typos, hit “post” and somehow all my writing disappeared 😡...

I hope you do stay tuned!

JBArk

Sounds like you are off to a great start.

/me tuned in.

Thanks dreamer042!

I am about to type the the last few entries from my notes.

JBArk

Tuesday Dec 5th, 2018

DAY 2

REFLECTION DAY

Dose: n/a

activities: sex, household chores & to do list

other substances: caffeine 2 double espressos

spiritual: 0
mental: -3
overall physical +1
sexual drive/ability +1/-3
outlook: +1
sleep: +5
fatigue: +3
stress: 0
visuals: n/a
overall effect rating: n/a

On to the first day of reflecting back to the first dose day. I feel tired today, though relaxed and notably more alert. Of most significance is my sleep, but first a little background. Since my son was born almost 9 years ago (he had two bouts of constipation, lasting 3-5 months each, and was up most nights), I have had insomnia. It is mostly under control now, after 3 years on zopiclone each night, a year on fairly frequent half doses and a further weaning/stretching over another 4 years, to the point now where I average ½ a dose once a month, and sometimes go several months without, but can finally foresee a time when I will leave them behind and accept the occasional sleepless night. Though things are much, much better, I still wake up 3-6 times a night to pee and often have difficulty getting back to sleep – to the point where if it is past 5am I most often just resign myself to staying up.

Last night was the first time in years – many, many years - that I have slept right through the night and woken to my girlfriend’s alarm clock over 8 hours after head hit the pillow. It is such an anomaly that I can attribute this to nothing other than the effect of my first micro-dose yesterday. This is one of my goals of micro-dosing: to get back to regular sleeping and to accept, without anxiety, the idea that I can survive a sleepless or un-restful night without the ensuing panic and consequent reliance on zopliclone. More on this in further posts, undoubtedly.

I had sex three times today.

I was less horny than usual, which means I was still fairly randy. My partner and I have been having some problems in that department after she had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and a subsequent diminishing of her libido. It was right in the middle of our ‘honeymoon’ phase, that was interrupted and cut short largely due to this surgery - she had 8 lbs of fibroids removed, which she coyly referred to as her ‘alien babies’. Since then there have been a few other psychological traumas on both our sides, the result of which is that we went from having sex 4-6 times a week, lusting after one another, experimenting, exploring and testing limits of fantasy, pain and endurance, to mostly lights-off, awkward and infrequent once or twice a month “maintenance” sex. My libido has stayed entirely intact, and in fact due to frustration has likely increased, while hers has diminished to the point of feeling horny once every few months, but making an effort to having sex more often to come a little closer to accomodating my needs.

Enough of the background; yesterday we fucked three times. But before the applause begins, we fucked three times because I never came, and my partner, after a break-through conflict the night before, recognizes my need for sexually intimacy and for, of course, sexual release, which is quite honestly secondary to me. So she is making the effort – but this time it is me that is incapable of following through, both with the intimacy and connection and with the orgasm. I do go through phases like this, but usually after weeks of regular sex, or if I am thoroughly exhausted and stressed.

Could it be the micro-dosing? I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? I will definitely be keeping an eye on this…

DAY 3 OFF

I will mostly be keeping these blank, unless something of significance occurs relating to the micro-dosing.


Thanks for tuning in,

JBArk

DAY 4

MICRO-DOSE #2

Dose: 0.2g homegrown golden teacher (moderately weak at higher doses)

activities: out of town visit with dad, cycling 50kms, groceries, visit mom, cooking: 2 Indian dishes

other substances: caffeine: 4 (5?) mugs of Bodum coffee; 2 beers, 1 glass of wine, 2 scotches

spiritual: 0
mental: 0
overall physical +1
sexual drive/ability 0/ n/a
outlook: +1
sleep: +1
fatigue: +4
stress: 0
visuals: 0
overall effect rating: -1 to +2

Yesterday I drove two hours to visit with my dad, who lives in a moderately sized house in a small village, alone. My mother was put in a home about a year and a half ago after a protracted downward spiralling of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and he has had a tough time adapting to life without her around. I get out to see them a few times a year, but was a little apprehensive micro-dosing when I had to be present, helpful and emotionally available. But I have committed to this, and I need to see how it affects all of these things as well.

The come-up happened when I was prepping the ingredients for an indian dinner I was making for my dad that evening, and I found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the recipes and stay focused. I actually felt quite disoriented, often pacing the kitchen from end to end and forgetting at each end why I had left the last end.

Once again, as happened organizing my personal office on DAY 1, I was initially frustrated by my inability to concentrate and work at something efficiently. Soon though, I began to laugh at myself for taking myself so seriously (a bad habit that I also take too seriously…) The prep took me a lot longer, but I felt less rushed (why do I always feel so rushed…?), and I have to say that instead of rushing through it for no particular reason, I slowed it a notch and actually enjoyed cutting and handling the ingredients and planning the meal.

I was, it must be noted, extremely tired all day and even the almost hourly coffees did little to shake me out of it.

Next I went on a 50 km ride out in the country near my dad’s place. It was -1C and grey so the cold made me ride harder than I wanted. I was hoping it would wake me up by getting the blood flowing, but the beginning was like the ride on Day 1 – my legs felt heavy and I was short of breath, as if my clothing was too tight and constrictive. When I warmed up though, the feeling faded and I actually felt, despite the overall fatigue, quite strong and fast on the bike, again repeating the effects of day 1.

I got back and drove to the home where my mother is lodged to join my dad for a visit. Then the fatigue took hold… My mother is pretty much non-responsive beyond the occasional affirmative nod on her better days. I can never be sure if she recognizes me (or if she recognizes my dad, for that matter), and it can be distressing for me to see her – she has no control of her expressions, so her face is often caught in a semblance of frozen terror. Her face was calmer today and she was more responsive than usual, but my fatigue was such that I could not conjure much one-way conversation. I did my best, but started to feel a little guilty about having micro-dosed, if it was contributing to my overall fatigue.

We returned to my dad’s place, where I began drinking beer and cooking. It was fun – I love cooking complex indian dishes and have not had the opportunity in quite some time. I was in a good mood, but still very tired and I drank a little too much – I was not inebriated, but I have been drinking regularly and more than I think I should (more on this in a later post).

I went to bed early (my dad’s routine, and since I was tired I welcomed it), and slept relatively well, though not the deep uninterrupted sleep of Day 1.

Overall it was positive, but difficult to evaluate given the visits and the breaking of my regular routine. With these kinds of distractions and responsibilities, there is little time to reflect, or to examine the minuitiae of the experience with regards to visuals and evaluating its ‘spiritual’ or ‘overall ‘effect’.

I think it is a fitting time to share my goals with this micro-dosing – I think in order to properly evaluate this kind of subjective experiment, I need to set down some subjective goals.

Stay tuned!!

JBArk

DAYS 5, 6, 7, Friday December 8th-Sunday December 10th OFF

I can only report a very pronounced fatigue for these days - to the point where I stayed in and skipped two friends’ birthday parties, a dinner and a Christmas party both days this weekend, opting for early nights. This stressed me.

My sleep has returned to its relatively normal, often interrupted cycle.

The fatigue may be a result of the onset of the cold weather here, this week’s hard and cold training, the emotional drain of visiting my folks, a few weeks of emotional conflict with my partner culminating in the release documented above or from the micro-dosing itself. Of course, writing it down makes it seem fairly obvious that it is most likely a combination of all of this. I will keep documenting and keep an eye on my sleep and fatigue.

JBArk

DAY 8

Monday December 11th

MICRO-DOSE #3

Dose: 0.2g homegrown golden teacher (moderately weak at higher doses)

activities: Morning sex, chores

other substances: caffeine: 2 ; 0.5mg clonazepam, one scotch

spiritual: -2
mental: -2
overall physical: -2
sexual drive/ability 1/ 2
outlook: -1
sleep: 0
fatigue: +4
stress: +4
visuals: 0
overall effect rating: -1 to +2


I woke up today tired but cheery. My partner and I had the best sex we have had in a while, still in bed and despite our weariness. She came, managing a small orgasm through waking eyes after changing positions several times and joining me in the physicality of it. I came right after, overlapping our orgasms and our muted, spasmic cries (my son was still asleep down the hall!)

I had a plan today to micro-dose and write to see how the dose would affect me creatively. One of my goals for micro-dosing is to help me get back to writing a book I am about 30-40 pgs from finishing, but that I haven’t touched in over a month (more on goals in an upcoming post). But after the dose and as it kicked in I was in the midst of a lot of mundane tasks: organizing to-do lists, responding to emails, stacking the dishwasher… I started to get frustrated, but remembered the same transition in the other days of micro-dosing, so I shrugged it off and sat in front of the computer.

But instead of writing what I had intended to write, I wrote up a couple of days of this micro-dosing log. The writing itself went well, though I had some trouble bringing up words I needed them from time to time. Even this I managed to transform somewhat: I laughed at it, finding the humour in it. This ability to turn frustration into comedy seems to be, for me at least, one of the benefits of micro-dosing, though it seems to apply only during the session itself. I hope to be able to bring this to my daily, un-dosed life as well.

Through all of this, however – and despite the moments of acknowledging the humour and laughing at myself – was a creeping sensation of dread, the periphery of panic.

I never got to the writing I had planned. I decided to meditate instead. Wanted to start meditating again after a long hiatus of nearly a year, I was also very curious to see how it would be affected by micro-dosing. It was a good, fairly profound session, but not much different from previous ones - I sort of fell asleep at the end, or was at the least teetering at that edge between sleep and meditation. I felt a little more relaxed, but the anxiety soon crept back up, notch by notch.

I had our meal planned and went to pick up my 8 year old son. We laughed and had good walk back from school, but the anxiety was ever present, pushing its way up. As I cooked, I went deeper into myself and couldn’t stop the flow of oppressive, negative thinking. It was getting difficult to concentrate on the cooking. My girlfriend was doing homework with my son, and I was trying to time it so that the meal was ready when they were done, but even the thought of trying to co-ordinate this, and possibly failing at it, was augmented to the point of near obsession and magnified importance.

I cracked…

I went upstairs and took 5mg of Clonazepam, came down and had two fingers of scotch in a tumbler. I have a prescription for Clonazepam from a breakdown I had a few years ago (brought on by a breakup and exacerbated by a terrifying insomnia) and I now use them only for emergencies, probably once every three or four months. I never suspected that a micro-dosing day would be one of those occasions…

Maybe I need to rethink this micro-dosing idea.



Tough one, but thanks for reading,

JBArk

Maybe melatonin or tryptophan would be better tools to deal with the insomnia. Serotonergic hallucinogens dó decrease serotonergic activity, and serotonin is needed to convert into melatonin.
If you microdose, immediately when you get out of bed, and then at the end of the day take either tryptophan or melatonin, this could compensate for the lack of serotonin in your body perfectly.

Tryptophan is maybe better than melatonin, because then you allow the body itself to convert it into melatonin, eventually so you're not messing with your own internal clock.

Hey thanks dragon rider,

Unfortunately melatonin seems to have no effect on me. I did some research into it about 7 years ago when I started having the sleep difficulties, and it seems that it does not work for everyone. And it is meant as a supplement for a deficiency of melatonin, if I recall, and helps you get to sleep by inducing a natural circadian reaction.

My problem rarely lies in the act of falling to sleep itself. It's more that I wake up often, and am frequently unable to get back to sleep after waking.

I'd like to work on the underlying problems (mostly anxiety) so that I needn't rely on anything - such as melatonin supplements, zopiclone or clonazepam - in order to sleep well and better. I have been hoping that micro-dosing would help, but I guess it's really too soon to tell. Though I am VERY encouraged by the two nights of uninterrupted sleep I have had since starting this regimen. The anxiety itself - well, I'll just have to wait and see...

Cheers,

JBArk

I am a bit of an insomniac too. In my experience, there is only one thing that REALY helps. And it's discipline. Depending in how bad a shape you are, this can either take-up to 2 weeks or 3 months. But not to rely on any pill or potion but just your own power realy is the best thing. You have to get out of bad each day at the exact same time. No matter how little sleep you had. And you have to keep doing it, no matter how tired it makes you feel, until it becomes a second nature and happens automatically.

Here, microdosing could actually be very helpfull in helping your brain to rewire. And it's not just the biological clock that get's rewired. By getting out of bed early, even if you haven't slept for more than an hour, you will build discipline as well.

Am gonna give you the best sleep aid that help in the long run, and is also a microdose of " classic psychedelic ":

- Amanita muscaria ( or pantherina ) tincture at 100mg/ml.

At first starting at one to two ml and added valerian and melatonin.
Here, we work with gabaergic herbs ( amanita plus Valerian tincture ), and added melatonin and CBD, but I was nearly burned out and insomniac ( splitting up, and some other personal stresses, so was in the middle of crisis ).

Later After maybe two weeks, mostly kept Just amanita tincture at 1 ml/ Day for sometimes.

Now I do it when travelling, sleeping out ( hotel or at friends can alter quality of sleep for me ).

I think it help create new pattern and sleeping habit. Now I use maybe once a week. I'm gonna dig also synergy with reishi and chaga mushrooms, as am in the middle of dual extraction ( hydro and ethanolic extractions ).

Hope that helps.

That's a great psychological remedy, but doesn't account for whacked brain chemistry. I tried that approach. My sleep went from 3-5 hrs down to half an hour or less a night. After almost 4 weeks I checked myself into a crisis centre because I was pacing 12-18 hours a day, experiencing depersonalization and de-realization, was hallucinating and getting lost in my own neighbourhood and I found myself muttering and occasionally letting out a scream walking down the street, part of me laughing and wondering who on earth could be screaming and muttering like that until i realized it was me...

They put me on clonazepam until I could get a prescription for Mirtazapene, both of which quite literally saved my life.

Since then ( about 6 years ago), I live in constant fear of anxiety and insomnia, having seen what they can do first hand. I now feel ready to confront the underlying issues (I have been this whole time, in fact), and to try and give myself a year to completely be free of the even infrequent pharmaceuticals I use to temper my fear before it spirals.

I feel very inspired after having the last two micro-doses produce my first 2 uninterrupted nights in years. Don't get me wrong - my sleep habits have been gradually improving, and while I still wake up every night between 3-6 times (at cycle ends I presume), it's mostly to pee and by and large I am able to get back to sleep within a reasonable time. In fact, these days I get back to sleep right away.

The thing that worries me with the micro-dosing is the mounting anxiety I am feeling. That can easily spiral into sleep troubles, leading to fatigue, frustration and then more anxiety. The vicious circle begins this way.

I hope, within a year, to be able to get to a point where an almost sleepless night (for social, work or even reasons of insomnia) does not necessarily lead to anxiety inducing insomnia. I'd like to be able to take it in stride.

That's the plan.

JBArk

I have tried valerian, when I decided to move away from zopiclone after a year or so (6 years ago I guess...), around the same time I tried Melatonin. Valerian Root acts on me like opiates do, only a little better. After lying there in a dreamy but sleepless state for hours I drift off for a bit, then wake and feel numb all day. Very unpleasant.

Very curious about the Amanita Micro-doses though. I will have to look into where to acquire the tincture - I had no idea it even existed.

Thanks rOm,

JBArk