Not too sure the weight of the shrooms I bought some shit scales that didn't work, said it was 5g. No way it was I would guess 1.5-3g. (Wow just got some scales and measured roughly what I had so more like it was .5-1.5g that's some serious synergy with the cacoa! Felt like 2-3g of shrooms.
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Set: Slightly pissed off at having to wait to use the kitchen for 3 hours. I had been planning to have them half hour before dusk so I could go for a walk but had to wait until after sunset.
I was also quite sad and flat for various reasons. I had just finished Uni and was left wandering what to do.
I had also woken in pain and dizziness that day which subsided over the day.
Had 20-40g of cacoa nibs an hour previous then quickly lemon tekked the shrooms so likely didn't extract all the actives.
The onset was intense, I felt very anxious and my head felt weird, like it was inflamed or as if I had an allergy (similar to how I woke up). I became aware of all the aches and pains in my body and it hit home that my anxiety disorder was well and truly still present. Studying at uni had channelled that energy and distracted me from invasive thoughts, but now there was no study to do it was unleashed. Am I going to collapse? My legs feel heavy? Am I unwell? Am I terminally ill and just don't know it yet? (Well, we all are really when you think about it!) I feel sorry. I feel in pain. I felt slightly annoyed by the mobile phone in my pocket and realised it was a crutch I relied on too much, always nearby always getting a compulsion to check this or that site, emails, texts, missed calls, constantly.
Ooo look at the trees its really beginning..
I walked through the local woods, it was beautiful all the different rainforest trees and acacia. Acacia always look so ethereal on psychedelics! My legs were starting to get real heavy and the inflamed feeling was reducing as I relaxed my breathing and reminded myself that no matter what if it gets difficult it will be over in a couple of hours.
It started to feel more like a mescaline trip, quite physically stimulating rather than the slow slightly sedate body load of shrooms on thier own.
I walked around the pond listening to all the frogs and birds getting freaked out by the occasional rustling on the dark ground , was that a snake?? Pulse quickens. All ok. I sat on a bench overlooking the pond watching the ripples in the light reflecting off it. I felt nervous about bumping into anyone as I was quite wired now.
I closed my eyes and relaxed as the psychedelic patterning swirled. I made out entities in the patterns gesturing with their fingers to 'come here' , it intrigued me so I stayed with my eyes shut observing. It's almost like I entered the hyperspace waiting room through a vent on the floor! You know the one you see on sub-breakthough doses of DMT. I really felt like I was looking upwards into this space. There also seemed to be some sort of 'fixing' like parts are being shifted in a watch, or pieces of a jigsaw being put in place. I put it down to my subconscious processing thoughts and emotions in my opened state of mind.
Introspection deepened as my defense mechanisms dissolved revealing my issues, I was sad at the state of the world, this restricted system that had been set up that we live in. I missed people. I realised I had built up barriers to people and situations to protect myself from further pain. I felt others pain. My friends and families pain and the predicament I was in due to my choices. My pain and loneliness because of these choices, yet here I was experiencing this beautiful environment.
I felt sick so I tried to puke, nothing came out so I realised I didn't need to and should walk on somewhere else. My head lightened and my sadness amd anxiety lifted, it was probably around an hour after taking them so I think I had then come up properly and was peaking.
I was slightly nervous walking through campus in the light but soon was through to the other side and relaxed fully. I sat at another pond that had many frogs it was beautiful listening to them and the crickets, such a soothing healing sound. I closed my eyes and let the visuals do their thing.
I thought how the pond was a good analogy of our world at present. It was polluted with oil, smelt quite bad, was dark and murky yet there were animals thriving in it and activity everywhere around it with Acacia trees and vegetation on the edge stopping the banks from eroding. I thought greedy selfish people can't stop the good from coming through in this world.
I walked onward up a hill into the pitch black and sat down on the walkway looking up into the cosmos, the starry night sky looked so 3 dimensional now like I could touch the stars, I felt a greater sense of the distances. Never ceases to give me that sense of wonder.
Once in my street I was nearly home and the dog from up the road ran out being aggressive causing my pulse to quicken as it picked up ony fear of it. Ive always been a bit warey of it and was concerned before about it chasing some of the local cats. I looked away and stayed where I was and calmly reassured it I was his friend. It relaxed and wandered off a few feet away sniffing the grass as dogs do.
It's keeper came out so I chatted to her then an odd thing happened she started looking at the floor like she was tripping! I thought hey who is really tripping here! I wandered off home to relax on the couch and puff on my ecig on the back terrace which felt really good.
I felt cleansed now, my mind was clear and the afterglow was really pleasant and lasted a while. I smoked a joint and returned to baseline not long after.