Ive been using extracted mescaline for some years now. It used to be very often! But life gets busy, I had children, businesses and many aspects to my life which demand time and energy seemed to take hold of the days, weeks and years.
Lately Ive found myself dosing 50-80mg occasionally and going about my work, its such a beautiful mood lifter, it gives you the energy to carry on and quiets the mind when its on overdrive. Mescaline for me has always been a great adjuster, a positive compound that I use in times of unsteady habits or lack of direction.... It just has this profound way of resetting all of my core priorities, whatever they might be at the time.
I had a rare few days to myself last week while my family heading off to the beach. I had a troublesome few months, having difficulty connecting with my parents, constantly finding myself in an argument with my wife and struggling to find patience with my young children. Life it seemed had taken a turn toward stress and fatigue. It was beginning to manifest physically, first I put my back out, then my shoulders, then I got the flu, then I hurt my knee... I could feel the muscles in my spine holding on for dear life, my body thought I was under attack and a part of me was watching it all unfold and knowing that there is a fix, a cure or at least a reset back to positivity, a way too soften the ego enough to breath in silence!
Since it had been at least two years since my last large dose I decided to start with a moderate 500mg of crystalline sulfate. I took the compound in a glass of hot water at 3pm and set about preparing my house for relaxation.
I started by putting all the things away (when you have two children that can be a lot of things!) I then started to vacuum the house as I felt the mess might get the better of me. As I began I could feel the first effects begin. A big smile came over me, my posture shifted more upright and I started to feel as though the vacuum was a pointless task and that the mess didn't matter
But my active brain couldn't let it go yet, I started getting fast and I told myself that if I finished I would allow my self some solitude with half an hour's Kum Nye (Tibetan yoga). All the while I was laughing at the split in my ego I was beginning to see. I could see myself negotiating with myself, it seemed absurd! It was!
I finished the cleaning and immediately began my stretching and meditation. This was one hour after ingestion and I was seeing fabulous CEV of organicvine like connections, they felt like they were growing from within me and I had the distinct impression that they were me and at the same time, they were the room and connected with the earth. I was beginning to melt into the oneness. I found exceptional strength in my Kum Nye routine, focus like never before. The breathing was long and slow and my muscles jiggled with electric energy as if the nerve endings were receiving a jolt of fresh and positive life force. This sensation continued and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to lie down. I felt dizzy and sedated. Perhaps two hours into the experience I decided to give in to this feeling and headed for bed. I put on some music, Sub Motion Orchestra, and with eyes closed I was transported into my mind where I could objectively see all of my thoughts as separate of myself. I saw the hurt of my arguments, I felt so in love with my wife and children I began to cry, they appeared in my mind and I wept with pure joy.
At that same moment a laugh erupted from within me, it came from so deep in my stomach it felt like it almost wasn't me. It was like all of the negative energy I was holding onto was released. I had the exact same feeling of purging but it was with laughter!
At this point I was engulfed in textures and neon imagery. The music coursed through my whole body and I writhed on the bed, the sheets felt amazing, my whole body was shaking as if in an orgasm. Total euphoria and bliss coursed through me with every beat and bass heavy drop of music. The room twisted and the curtains flowed with energy. I again wept with joy. I saw my father and how he needs my help, he has been lost heading into his senior years and looks toward nothing, he feels death is just an end point and nothing more. I decided to talk with him more from that moment, I felt the love I have for him and it again coursed through my body.
How unbelievable this feeling was. Just such a pure feeling of love. It pervades everything, it is behind all things if you are quiet enough you can sense it always. I thanked my cactus friends for their love and happiness. I was astonished that even with a bad set going in I have been completely and loveingly reset!.
This went on for about two hours and after the second album had finished I decided to make a cup of tea and stand on my deck to watch the sunset. It was now 5 hours after ingestion and the scene before me outside was one of pure wonder and beauty. The sun painted the sky like the most beautiful oil painting, deep oranges and flowing reds. The tress bristled with life and the ones that did not have leaves yet (it is spring here) began to breath. The lungs of the earth I reckoned. As I inhaled so did they. We gave life to each other. When I closed my eyes the organic vines connected me to them. With eyes closed or open we were one. I thought on this for some time. We are not just individuals separate from anything. We all come from the same moment in time and we are all still the same, still connected and still one. Our reality is just a gift for our minds, a special experience that we can have for ourselves. We just need to remember that we are all connected to really enjoy the fact or be lost in it.
It was now about 7 hours since ingestion and the peak had started to wear off. I felt a little hungry so I made a sandwich. It was hard to eat but satisfying nonetheless. I enjoyed a glass of hoppy beer which made me feel wonderful. This stage of the experience was much like an mdma high. I felt a need to talk to people. I danced in my living room and moved my body briskly from spot to spot still feeling waves of euphoria and imagery. My wife rang a this point (she had no idea I was on mescaline and wouldn't be too thrilled about it, its not something she can partake and doesn't understand but I'm ok with that given the positive effect it seem to have on me). We talked for at least an hour, about the kids, how they were how they are growing, how much we miss each other and how excited we both were to see one another again in a few days. She even needed some numbers and banking information which I was (to my surprise) able to to retrieve and confirm for her.
i then spent about three hours watching movies and at 3am with all visual effects ceased but still no sign of sleep I took 2.5mg of a nonbenzodiazepine sleeping aid. This worked and I fell asleep for 5 hours.
I awoke feeling so refreshed. The world glowed form within. The day was beautiful. The sun sang sang upon everything it touched and my mind was so quiet!!!! No ego, no need to do. I prepared the house for my family's return and lovingly made food for the next few days to make it easier on everyone. When they arrived home I was overcome with joy and we have been in a remarkably positive state since. Even when my wife's stress and ego presents itself I seem not to react. I can see my own emotions swell and fade and I feel incredibly grateful to have such a friend with my garden of loving cacti!
Peace be with all of you out there. Whatever you are going through, Mescaline is love and it will show you what you need in your life, it will connect you with what's important and allow to to let go of what is not
Xoxo