I tripped some and ever since then its like it was yesterday. Even 5 years are nothing. The most epic time markers in my memory are the excruciating destructions of my ego, or was it the resistance and learned acceptance during crystalization? Or was it when the trip merged with my life the world that is more real than reality began to appear like a polaroid does over the blank canvas shaken by the communion.

I experienced and was part of an unfolding ceremonial shamanic reality in communion with spirits. I had telepathic visions that i acted upon with result. I cannot prove any of this to anyone,

I wanted to do this more than anything, to prove it that i was experiencing "paranormal activity" and most of all i was interested in proving that because i am not special that everyone else was as well.

It took me a long time to stop thinking i was special. It was a bad thought.

Is this what they mean by integrating?

i am not even sure that the other individuals close to me saw what I was doing/interacting with except for one person, one person that talked to me about talking to plants as if it was not crazy, and another that seemed to have an arrangement with the spirits much like i did, and told me small prophecies that i laughed at only to remember years later in awe. Others that appeared in my life to answer questions cast to the void.

I was introduced to the role of the healer. I was only introduced, i did not become. I was now that i think of it only a vessel. I think she had become a vessel as well, or always was. There was no telling, for our meeting seemed to be the proof i needed, that i so desperately wanted to give.

Interesting post. It gives me questions.

First, are you okay? Do you feel like you are integrating your experiences, as you would use that word?

Why do you say it was a bad thought to think you are special?

What was/ were your dosages like, and your intention, and set / setting?

Time, and the experience thereof, are tricky things and elusive and defy linear measurement, imho. Sure, we can count up the sunrises and how many times the earth goes round the sun and write them down, but come on, no two days feel the same length really, do they? No two minutes feel the same length to me. Some months pass by in a flash but it's entirely possible to spin them out and experience time dilation in daily life and get a little more out of it all. It's still a minuscule nothing, compared to cosmic timescales, but for us little earthsqueakers it's significant enough...