Again, another experience I could not have expected, given the simple intention of wanting what I needed most. Here comes some more rambling, but I hope it conveys the basics of the journey that I can recall.
I smudged my unit, and at 6pm, I consumed the equivalent of 8 grams of Syrian Rue and 15 grams of Chaliponga again. The experience lasted from dusk until the crack of dawn, a good 11 hours... even though I could swear I imagined the time that passed was much less. Talk about losing track of time, LOL! XD
It would seem like the ego can only remember fragments of the experience. I do remember certain strong aspects of the experience, if only the sheer feelings of it... for a while, I could recall the experience with ease, but that ability slowly fades over time, as the ego boundaries properly settle back into place. I know that I can recall it all once I re-enter that expanded mind-space, however, so I'm at peace...
I let go of another major energy block around my Heart Chakra, which felt like the center of my body had been removed and the remainder of the two halves were plastered together, lol. An oddly amusing feeling! After all the removal of these major blocks, my energy feels much expanded! It's so much easier for me to do the things I once resisted before... my willpower is much stronger, allowing me to flow through my inner negative emotional energies instead of being stonewalled, inhibited and boxed in by them.
Chaliponga created some very damn powerful illusions for me, which seemed all too real... how I did not lose my sanity, I know not, but my Spirit Guides told me to trust my instincts, my intuition and Chaliponga's and their guidance, in taking such an extreme dosage.
At one point, I thought I had died psychologically... I could feel my body and mind, but it felt like I just... wasn't there, even though I knew I was. The feeling is too strange for me to convey, even though I no longer can properly recall it...
All in all, a journey that has allowed me to break free of my previous emotionally-crippled state, allowing my strength of mind to suffuse throughout my body. To be free like this... the feeling still feels so very unfamiliar and slightly awkward, but I know that I just need time to readjust.
Thank you for reading!
“The dao that can be expressed is not the eternal Dao.”
~ Lǎozǐ
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
~ Carl Jung