PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Highly Anxious
(physical condition) Set: Rested and comfortable
Setting (location): Living room of friend's house
time of day: Early Afternoon
recent drug use: Sertraline (Zoloft, SSRI), 100 mg/day oral, prescription
last meal: Lunch, coffee and bagel with cream cheese ~2hrs previous

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
known sensitivities: Sensitive too all drugs and medications that have been tried to date
history of use: Moderate experience with Cannabis, no prior experience with Classical Psychedelics

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): N,N-DMT
Dose(s): 10 mg
Method of administration: Vaporized with 'Divine Crossing v3' ceramic vaporizer, power limit 35 W and TC set to 350 F


EFFECTS
Pre-Administration time: T=0:00 Meditated to calm anxiety
Administration time: T=0:15
Duration: ~30 minutes
First effects: T=0:15
Peak: T=0:16
Come down: T=0:18
Baseline: T=0:45

Intensity (overall): 2
Evaluation / notes: WOW!

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Unpleasantness: 1
Visual Intensity: 2


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0, no noticeable effects
Afterglow: 4, euphoria immediately in the comedown, very positive mental attitude with heightened sense of sight and hearing for the rest of the day, feeling fresh and new the following day


REPORT
This was my first ever experience with a Classical Psychedelic, and I came to seek DMT after a particularity powerful Cannabis experience that I have detailed in my Intro Essay. I started the day by traveling to a friend's home where the experience was to take place. The entire way there I was highly anxious, unsure if I was making a mistake or not, but still driven to see what this substance had in it that I could potentially learn from. After arriving at the friend's home and socializing for a while it was time to get down to business. The vaporizer was prepared with a small threshold dose of 10 mg, and the DMT melted slightly to stick to the heating coil. We then moved into the living room for the actual experience. It was then decided that I would go first (neither of us had tried DMT previously).

At this point I had pre-flight jitters quite badly, not to the point of a panic attack, but closer to one then I would have wanted. Was the DMT clean enough? Would this shatter my mind? Did I actually WANT to see how deep the rabbit hole goes?!

I decided to meditate for a time before proceeding, and both my friend and I sat in silent stillness for about 15 minutes. At this point I reached for the vaporizer, said my friend "cheers!" and began inhaling. At first I couldn't feel anything, but then there was a tickle in the back of my throat, and I could taste a faintly rubber like flavor in my mouth. After inhaling for ~10 seconds I held the lung full for a further 10 seconds. Exhaling through my nose I smelled a VERY odd aroma, it was almost like a very intense smell of Sardines (if you have ever eaten sardines, which I quite like, exhaling through your nose while eating them can be intense). This aroma was so intense that I almost stopped right there, it was off-putting. Not yet feeling any significant effects I quickly collected my thoughts and took a second 10 second inhalation holding it for about 10 seconds as well. This second hit was somewhat harsher then the first, and I got a taste of fish in my mouth this time. Not very pleasant. Exhaling through my mouth this time I could start to feel a deep sense of relaxation, a warm tingling sensation traveled down my torso, and my anxiety evaporated and I started to feel like I was sinking into the couch. I put the vaporizer off to the side and closed my eyes.

I could see swirls of colors all around me, fairly faint, but present. "looking" around (with my eyes still closed) there were several different things in the space. Above me was a flower-like object, with luminous petals and each row of petals slowly rotating in different directions and at different speeds, also there was most to this rotation then just clockwise and counter-clockwise as if each row of petals had a unique axis of rotation while all being still in the shape of a flower. To my right there were four small spheres of light or energy, three in an equilateral triangle, and the fourth in the center. There were thin and faint lines running from the three outer spheres to the central sphere, but no lines in the periphery of the triangle. To my left there was a patch of the general swirling colors that looked like it was melting and dripping down continuously. Each of these three areas had a different feel to them as well. The flower felt welcoming and friendly, the energy spheres were sharp and focused, and the dripping was calm and soothing. I could freely focus on each of them as desired. Briefly I heard a sound that was coming from behind me, like a low Japanese temple gong. It was fleeting though, and disappeared as the intensity of the experience started to wane. During this whole time I could feel the presence of an entity, but never saw an entity, there was a sense that this entity was in fact "me" but it still felt external.

Coming down, the intensity of the visuals and the sense of being sunken into the couch stared to get less intense. After another minute or two the intensity came down to the point that I felt like "me" again. I opened my eyes and looked at my friend. The room felt fluid, and it was moving and jiggling. My friend's face in particular looked to be swirling, with colors and vortexes playing across their expression. We then discussed the experience and discussed a bit more about the technical aspects of DMT and the administration thereof. I felt very happy, very relaxed, and very up-beat. It should be noted that this is not my generally my base state of being, I tend to be much more pragmatic in my approach. In this moment I was just... happy! My body felt wonderful, like I had just come out of a sauna. Even just opening and closing my hands, or scratching my head resulted in very pleasurable sensations.

Next it was my Friend's turn to try, they are intending to post their own report, so I will let them describe it when they are ready. After about an hour and a half I decided it was time for another try with a bigger dose. That report will be below.

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Calm and favorable
(physical condition) Set: Rested and comfortable
Setting (location): Living room of friend's house
time of day: Mid Afternoon
recent drug use: Sertraline (Zoloft, SSRI), 100 mg/day oral, prescription
last meal: Lunch, coffee and bagel with cream cheese ~4hrs previous

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
known sensitivities: Sensitive too all drugs and medications that have been tried to date
history of use: Moderate experience with Cannabis, one prior DMT threshold experience (see above)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): N,N-DMT
Dose(s): 15 mg
Method of administration: Vaporized with 'Divine Crossing v3' ceramic vaporizer, power limit 35 W and TC set to 360 F


EFFECTS
Pre-Administration time: T=1:45 Meditated to calm anxiety
Administration time: T=2:00
Duration: ~30 minutes
First effects: T=2:00
Peak: T=2:01
Come down: T=2:05
Baseline: T=2:30

Intensity (overall): 3
Evaluation / notes: Holy WOW!

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Unpleasantness: 2
Visual Intensity: 3


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0, no noticeable effects
Afterglow: 4, euphoria immediately in the comedown, very positive mental attitude with heightened sense of sight and hearing for the rest of the day, feeling fresh and new the following day


REPORT
After a while I decided that another experience with more DMT this time would be interesting to try. 15 mg of DMT was loaded into the vaporizer this time, melted to the coil, and then we moved back into the living room. This time I was very calm, none of the high level of anxiety that I had felt prior to the first time. I knew that I was going to take double the amount of the first time, but it seemed like much less of a big deal. I decided to meditate for a time again, and sat in silent stillness with my friend of around 15 minutes. I reached for the vaporizer and started to inhale. First inhale was 10 seconds long, the vapor was significantly harsher this time, and I had to concentrate on keeping it in for a full 10 seconds after the inhale. Exhaling brought with it the taste of fish again... weird... Bodily effects started almost immediately, and I felt like the exhalation was accompanied with a melting sensation. I had to gather myself back together a bit to take the second toke. Second inhalation was much more harsh, and after getting in most of the lungful I had a couple of sputtering coughs. I managed to lose about half of the inhalation, but kept the rest in for 5 more seconds or so. I closed my eyes and don't remember the exhalation, by that point "I" had melted away and the "water from the ice cube" had drained into the ground (or at least that is what it felt like) and only "me" remained (if that makes any sense at all).

The visuals were much more complex this time, gaining in complexity over and over and over. The same sound of a temple gong came back, this time more intense, and it too grew more complex. At first it was a simple sine wave, then a warbling, then it had more structure to it, and finally it sounded like a Marimba if the Marimba was made entirely of crystal and was highly distorted. Except, this wasn't just distortion, I could tell that there more complexity to the sound then I was capable of understanding, and that un-processed complexity manifested as distortion to my ear. At the same time the visuals were continuing to gain complexity, and this time enveloped my entire field of view, which extended around an entire 360 degree of sensation. It felt like I was moving forward, and would stop from time to time to see (or be shown) something. First, lines in a cross-hatch pattern, red and black, intense and deliberate. Next, a swirling vortex of every color imaginable, and some that weren't imaginable, in a whirlpool of light. Then, a throbbing, pulsing cloud of energy, intense but serene. I didn't not see an entity, but it did feel like I was being guided to these things, and then prodded to move on when it was time to go to the next one. It felt like I could have chosen to interact with these things that I was seeing, but I had made the intention to just watch what was going to unfold, and allowed myself to be guided from one to the next. At this time I could sense back in my body that there was an unpleasant sensation in my throat, but it felt very far away. My Body swallowed, and it almost felt like the sensation and sound of it ricocheted into my perception almost like a stutter, like echoes from a different place. The sound at this point was full on music, much more complex then I was capable of understanding. More views of visuals and sounds that I cannot fully recall, other then that they were not the same as what was before, and then I could feel the complexity diminishing. Afterwards I described the progression as complexity "un-furling" and then later "re-furling". Compacting back into where they came from. The sound did the same, getting simpler and simpler until it was just a sine wave again, and then slowly growing quieter into silence. The visuals also reduced down to the point of just vague swirling, and that same flower like shape that I saw the first time.

I then opened my eyes, and was a little shocked to see my friend sitting across from my looking at me with intensity. A third eye opened on their forehead and I remarked "you have three eyes!", the third eye winked at me and then closed a short time later, melting back into their forehead. The rest of the room looked very normal and solid, but my friend's face still looked very interesting, oscillating between fluid and angular. I felt fantastic, unburdened, buzzing, both mentally and physically. We talked for a time about a lot of different things. My friend decided not to try an additional dose that day, but wants to try it again another time. We ate some food, watched some silly youtube videos, and just had a wonderful rest of the day. While watching some funny youtube videos I found them to be HIGHLY amusing, and I laughed harder then I have in years, it was cathartic! Even the day after now I feel in high spirits, and find myself laughing more easily then I otherwise would.

Unfortunately, prior to the second session it appears that my mod had been bumped and the settings changed, with the temperature being increases to 360 F. I think this is why the vapor was much harsher, and harder to keep in. Will have to make sure to lock the temperature setting before blastoff again. I am quite intrigued by what might have happened had I not coughed out half of the second inhalation!

Overall I am very appreciative of this experience, and want to try more. I am fairly sure this was not a full-on breakthrough experience, and so there is much more to explore and learn from DMT. I am planning more experiments with higher doses, and at this point won't do increases of more then 5 mg at a time. At this point there are a few questions that I have, other then all the ones that came from the actual trip:
1) Has anyone else had this fish/sardine smell or flavor before? I don't recall seeing anyone else describe that aspect.
2) I have seen a lot of descriptions of anxiety on the come-up, and that was the case for my friend who tried it as well, but for me it was just the opposite. Very calm, and like a melting away of "I". Almost like meditation in fast-forward. I don't think I have gotten to a state like that without multiple hours in meditation in the past. Perhaps that prior experience allowed me to let go without struggling naturally and without having to think about it. Does that many sense?
3) How have I not tried this in the past?! This was one of the most pleasurable and exciting experiences of my life, and I am very VERY grateful for having it. I would in all likelihood never have been able to have this experience without the Nexus, and want to thank everyone who has made this place what it is!

Update at T=4 days:

The afterglow has waned now, and I am close to being back at my normal state of being. The last few days have been very enjoyable, and had a light feel to them. Meditation has been very easy to settle into as well. I would do this again just for the afterglow!

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Calm and favorable
(physical condition) Set: Rested and comfortable
Setting (location): Couch at home
time of day: Early evening
recent drug use: Sertraline (Zoloft, SSRI), 20 mg/day oral, prescription (in the middle of a slow taper from 100mg down to zero)
last meal: Fasting, last meal the previous evening (~18hrs ago)

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
known sensitivities: Sensitive too all drugs and medications that have been tried to date
history of use: Moderate experience with Cannabis, two prior low-dose DMT experiences (see above)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): N,N-DMT
Dose(s): 20 mg
Method of administration: Vaporized with 'Divine Crossing v3' ceramic vaporizer, power limit 35 W and TC set to 350 F

EFFECTS
Pre-Administration time: T=0:00 Meditated to calm anxiety
Administration time: T=0:15
Duration: ~30 minutes
First effects: T=0:15
Peak: T=0:17
Come down: T=0:20
Baseline: T=1:00

Intensity (overall): 3
Evaluation / notes: Holy WOW!

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 3
Unpleasantness: 2
Visual Intensity: 3

AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0, no noticeable effects
Afterglow: 3, felt fresh and open


REPORT
After about 2 months now I decided to dip my toes in the water again, honestly I am not quite sure why it took so long to do this, I always seemed to have a good excuse as to why I wasn't going to. Loaded 20mg into the Divine Crossing v3, meditated for a while, set the intention to accept anything and everything that may happen, and then went to work. Inhaling slowly while firing the coil, I felt irritation in my throat and had to stop around 7 seconds into the first puff. With a couple of suppressed coughs I was able to keep it in for a full 10 seconds, smelled sardines on the exhale again... weird. Second puff was much like the first, started to feel the need to cough 7 seconds in, held it. Was feeling the effects quite strongly now, considered going for a third puff in case there was some left, but didn't (subsequent examination shows that there was a bit left after all, so I didn't get the full 20mg, probably around 17mg). Laid down and let it happen.

As soon as I closed my eyes and laid back, I was presented with a seated Buddha-like figure radiating pure peace and compassion, I could not see the figure itself, but it was like a silhouette of one contrasted with the aura of peace and compassion radiating away from it. I could even see the waves of the peace and compassion going off to every corner of reality. The Buddha-like figure beckoned me to come closer, and I felt like I was rushing forward through a tunnel, but just at that moment I heard someone outside in the real world on a Harley motorcycle rev their engine which broke the moment. The figure beckoned to me twice more, each time I started forward before stopping again due to this external interruption. I could not follow.

Then the scene changed. I saw an ancient being laying on a bed surrounded by loved ones, I could see and feel the emotion and love that they had for her. I was interrupting. She turned to me and said with her last breath "try again tonight when it is quieter." Just like that she passed, and was no longer with us, disintegrating and leaving behind just a pile of the clothes she was wearing. I think she had been there waiting to get into hyperspace her whole life, but ultimately failed to do so. The loved ones faded away, and then the whole scene did.

For the rest of the experience I was floating in a sea of pulsating colors and shapes, morphing and changing constantly. A few of what I think other have described as "tricksters" would come to me occasionally. Their appearance was almost like Chinese dragons, but with color patterns on their body that was like a continuously changing waves of rainbow color cascading down their bodies. Occasionally one would come close and seemed to be threatening me in some way, not agressively, but more like they were trying to act tough. I then just said to myself "accept" which was the intention that I had set from the beginning. Each time the being smiled, "thought" at me that it was only testing and wanted nothing but good for me, then left as quickly as it had come.

This reduced in intensity until I was close to baseline, opening my eyes the ceiling looked very normal except that it had a greenish cast to it. I laid where I was snuggling with a fluffy blanket for a few more minutes, and then got up. Oddly I felt very horny... but the thought of sex felt alien. Weird.

AFTER ACTION ANALYSIS
I was again hampered by not being able to get everything in while vaping, due to my sensitive lungs/throat. I think next time I am going to change the settings on the DCv3 to 33W and 340F. I likely won't be able to get it all in one hit, but that is ok, will just have to take a few tokes. The dying being asked me to try again tonight, so I think I need to. I am not sure if that was in any way "real", but if it was I feel like I need to respect her literal dying words.

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Calm and favorable
(physical condition) Set: Rested and comfortable
Setting (location): Couch at home
time of day: late evening
recent drug use: Sertraline (Zoloft, SSRI), 20 mg/day oral, prescription (in the middle of a slow taper from 100mg down to zero)
last meal: Fasting, last meal the previous evening (~20hrs ago)

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
known sensitivities: Sensitive too all drugs and medications that have been tried to date
history of use: Moderate experience with Cannabis, two prior low-dose DMT experiences (see above)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): N,N-DMT
Dose(s): 25 mg
Method of administration: Vaporized with 'Divine Crossing v3' ceramic vaporizer, power limit 33 W and TC set to 340 F

EFFECTS
Pre-Administration time: T=0:00 Meditated to calm anxiety
Administration time: T=0:15
Duration: ~30 minutes
First effects: T=0:15
Peak: T=0:18
Come down: T=0:25
Baseline: T=1:00

Intensity (overall): 4
Evaluation / notes: Indescribable

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Unpleasantness: 1
Visual Intensity: 3

AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0, no noticeable effects
Afterglow: 3, felt fresh and open


REPORT
In my last experience an ancient being asked me to try again later with her dying breath. It felt important to do this, and so I did!

I again had an issue with an irritated throat, but I think a combination of a slightly lower vape temp and a faster inhale to dilute the vapor allowed me to get through it better. Plus, this time I took the third hit (both literally and figuratively) even though things had already started to get REALLY strange by this point. I laid back and then, all of a sudden... BAM!

I have been here before! How many times have I BEEN HERE BEFORE?!

I broke through, no question in my mind. I was in a place of unimaginable complexity, patterns on top of patterns on top of patterns, all in hyper-color, and all doing their own thing with purpose. It is very difficult to describe, like constantly morphing living fractals. I felt very warm, and it felt like I was profusely sweating (no evidence of sweating once I was back though), and that my body was buzzing with waves of pleasure. Everything was suffused with the most beautiful and complex music, "like a thousand tinkling windchimes" (thanks to werd for that description). I sat in it and simply watched and listened for a very long time.

As suddenly as it started, I was suddenly in a different place, with different things moving around me, visions of beings of all kinds. Demons, angels, mechanical, plant like, etc, etc, etc. Some came over to see what I was all about. None stayed long. I accidentally opened my eyes for a moment, and every surface was covered with moving patterns. The visions started to wrap around themselves and around me, spiraling inward faster and faster. I came to realize that everything that was happening "out there" was simply me. This trip, this life, the universe, all an external reflection of an internal truth. I am the universe, both figuratively AND literally! This happened twice more, outward where it was easier to see, wrapping inward to where the truth lies.

My cat came over to say hi, and petting her felt amazing.

Came back to the computer, and came up with this bit of wisdom: The most irrational hatred is the hatred of what you are, see religion, homophobia, etc.


AFTER ACTION ANALYSIS
I gotta do this again!

I forgot to mention this. After coming out of the experience, I saw bugs running around everywhere. I think the first bug that I saw was an actual bug, but I am not sure. Most of them were almost certainly just hallucinations, otherwise I figured out how to call my insect friends from miles around or something!

I have a daily meditation practice which has been fantastic seeing my life has been turned upside down by a chronic and very painful degenerative nerve disease. Meditating on the five daily reflections for years before I needed it was helpful.

I have also felt the same thing when I use DMT is on the comedown I have a compulsion to sit on my meditation mat. Not like a vague feeling like I should meditate. It is LIKE I NEED TO MEDITATE now.

I don't know if the SSRI taper I am currently on was a significant factor, but this week I did not experience the wonderful multi-day afterglow that I had the first time I tried DMT. I was very agitated, and had significantly increased SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome symptoms all week. Frankly I have felt awful. I don't know if there was an interaction between the DMT and the Discontinuation Syndrome, but I will be avoiding DMT and other serotonergic substances until I am off the SSRI completely have have had time for my receptors to stabilize.