Hey Y'all...

It has been about a year since I first posted after my first blast off session...

I have some confessions to make... I was also addicted to meth at the same time, and was involved with a group of people who did not respect me, Dimitri as a substance, or life itself for that matter.

My story is long and convoluted, and very, very fucked up... I will happily tell it in private, to people willing to listen, and worthy of listening. Its a juicy bit of gossip, and very interesting to say the least... Plus I have learned more about the evil in people in the last year than most will in a lifetime... That sounds up-myself... But let me tell ya, I have come face to face with soul-less sociopaths, and survived. And that makes for some cool conversation now I am well enough to handle it.

But here in Adelaide, to cut meth out of your life... You also have to cut all of your friends out of your life. Every. Single. Last. One. And I am at the stage now where I am healing, and feeling as though i am ready to connect with new, beautiful people... On, and offline.

Some offline friendships would be really cool actually... So if you are in Adelaide, SA, please, feel free to hit me up!

(Please do not hit me up if you are just looking for supplies - I can't help you with that, I'm sorry).

Peace and much love to all Xx

To get away from the meth people I left Perth as well, it's also endemic there mate. 3 of my 4 circle of friends from there are dead and the other is permanently schizo... It's brutal. Glad to hear you cut your ties. It really is the only way.

Sending you much positive and healing energy in this new phase of your life.

Thanks mate... in a town like Adelaide it is nearly fkn impossible to get away from as well.

A mate of mine scored off me then killed himself a few days later. I will never, ever forgive myself, but he helps me stay clean now.

Thanks for your vibes and back at you! Xx

You need time to forgive yourself too. These things don't come easy or quickly.

It is really important that you accept and forgive yourself for all of the things that went down. After all you cannot change them, so there is no reason why you shouldn't let the wounds heal and become whole again. Just being open to the idea that everything will get better and the pain will fade is well worth it. Hey, it can takes years to come right after these sort of experiences... but years do pass surprisingly quickly.

After a few years of being out of it I looked back and could see I struggled for a couple of years, but things got better. It's all ancient history now, just like a tattoo or a scar the pain is long gone but the mark is still there. Forever part of me but not who I am. If I tell people about it, those who do not understand, they are horrified and think I am crazy. So I generally don't talk about it, it especially wouldn't go down well in my office with all the people people who never taken more than 3 beers in one session

Feel free to hit me up in PM mate, I'm always up for a good yarn

Hahahahah yep I held it all in for so long because people just thought I was batshit!!!

Found the right psychologist and that changed EVERYTHING!

I'm actually in a really good place now, just lonely!

Thanks for your reply mate, sounds like we should swap war stories at some point 😊

Just sat here and watched frozen with my niece... she LOVES the song at the end, let it go... I am a bit of a singer, so I decided to look up the lyrics to sing it with her...

bit of synchronicity... I actually have tears in my eyes reading them.

Think I found my new theme tune... LOL


Let It Go
Idina Menzel
Lyrics
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation,
and it looks like I'm the Queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in;
Heaven knows I've tried
Don't let them in,
don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel,
don't let them know
Well now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway
It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway!

**bit different to my usually rad musical taste... but the fantastic irony of this... LOL**