I used to suffer from chronic depression which was shared with the rest of my immediate family. I took shrooms regularly during rough times which certainly led to very dark moments. I never felt in danger of what I might do, but the ugliness I saw in the world was no longer lurking in the shadows. It got in my face and often it won. Often in these moments I would smoke MJ to save me which typically always provided me the euphoria to power through but would not let me learn my lesson.

Understanding discipline was I think my best tool to carry forward, to be able to set reasonable (and flexible) goals to work on and know that something real is being done to get out of the slump. For me, writing and making music was the feedback I needed to hear my own emotions. Eventually I could take large doses of shrooms without weed and power through to understand my own world view and why it blew so hard. It really was that Western world view that was bringing me down.

Good luck on your endeavors and inevitable transformation. You will come out stronger!

Godspeed

My opinion is. Work against the depression yourself. Give it the rest with LSD kinda like opening a new chapter of your life.

Thank you for understanding the problem, properly. Go easy on the other posters - if they haven't been in our situation they will never understand.

Are you psychotic?
Nope. And no history of it either.

How depressed?
I get to the point where I feel like if I die, I just don't care. I don't think about suicide any more, that got solved after a lengthy and amazing meditation event - that we are here on earth to suffer and to learn lessons from that suffering. And if I kill myself then I haven't learnt so I will come back as a human again and in probably far worse circumstances to learn the lesson. My lesson seems to be empathy and what it is like to live life with no friends and no loved ones other than parents and a dog.
What causes it? Mainly comparisons to others. How shit my life is in comparisons.

The major problem?
Two problems - emotional binge eating and social anxiety. The latter is stopping me going to group meditation lately. I just can't be around other people. Unless you have had it you won't understand.


I exercise when no one is around, I really need to do bodybuilding but the gym is out for anxiety reasons :/

Not trying anything for fun. This is about fixing my issues so I can live life a bit better.

Overweihtness is a huge problem for me. I am 24 stone currently which is 336lb for Americans... I am tall but stilL!!!! I was 27 stone I managed to lose it and keep it off but even now it is way too much. I need to be 16 stone.

Today is a good example of the eating disorder in motion. Last night I decided to do a 16 hour fast then 8 hour window. If I don't go out I can do this. But I went out in the car, had to get fuel, find myself sitting in petrol station stuck in a loop of SHOULD I SHOULN'T I... so on deciding to give in to my craving and buy chocolate or not.

In the end the chocolate won. From an outside POV it is easy to say "man up you pussy" over such a decision but I can only describe it like a heroin addict suffers.

It got near my lowest point when I was 22 ish and I considered robbing a supermarket for a £0.40p bar of chocolate as I had no money. THAT BAD.

The very best thing you can do, imo, that will get you the best results fastest is to join a power lifting gym. There's a video on YouTube called Stoneland about the stone lifting culture of Scotland, it's what inspired me to go beyond pushups and body weight workouts. Nothing burns fat faster or puts on muscle faster than lifting heavy. This is not something you should attempt to start without the advice of someone who knows what they're doing, but the emphasis is less on your physique than your raw ability to put mass into the air. Calesthenic type builds just don't work on every body type but that doesn't mean you can't have fun and be fit!

I promise you watching your numbers go up every week will be more addicting than sugar. I used to drink 12 packs of coke and 3 or 4 energy drinks a day, now I drink at least 2 liters of water a day plus whatever I take with my supplements (just creatine and caseine, nothing crazy) and I wish I could communicate the difference in just my clarity of mind, to say nothing of my body.

I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm around 175 and started at around 190. Ironically I'm trying to gain weight and even though I've never been stronger I just keep losing weight even though I've never eaten more. I get between 2500-3000 calories a day and am working on getting my protein to body weight ratio down. Ideally you want 1g protein per lb of body weight but it ain't easy.

So though the reason I advise power lifting in your case is that you're in the perfect situation to get really good at it really fast (your body makes muscle out of carbs+sugars+protein so you'll probably just need to step your protein intake which will automatically cut down on your sugars and carbs while giving you the results you want) and there isn't nearly so much emphasis on instant diet change. If you're bulking or power lifting you can pretty much eat whatever you want as long you make sure you reach your protein and fiber numbers. A slight modification and you can be putting up significant weight in very little time.

Chicken and burgers > candy bars and bags of chips

However when you're bulking and lifting you can eat both, as long you PRIMARILY eat more burgers and steaks. You really do have to balance out your fiber (I smash a large veggie smoothie in the morning) but better food keeps you fuller longer anyway.