I didn't intend to make any introduction post (I'm usually not so self celebratory lol), but since I saw there's an area for one... I figured it would be a good way to break the ice I guess. Not that there is any. 🙃 Sorry this post is long af.

Anyway, like the subject says, I'm a dreamer...which is how I've come to have a relationship with dmt. (I've only done it twice.) Which is how I've come to be here on the nexus 🙂

My life is...or seems to be.:.as much a dream as it is reality. I've always had intense dreams, ever since I was a kid. Some are good dreams, some are nightmares beyond belief... So, for the last 8 or so years, I have been on a sort of lucid dreaming quest, to understand it.

To paraphrase a life story...as a pre-teen and all through high school, I tried to learn everything that I could about dreaming; how and why we dream, meanings behind dreams... anything to help me escape mine. Obviously I was led to lucid dreaming.

...I remember the first time I woke myself up from a nightmare. I woke up my husband with my gasping "I'm awake!! I'm awake!!" And I wept with relief, feeling as though I was freed of some literal demon.

But I wasn't. I'm still on my quest.

I have sleeps almost like inception, where i wake up from a nightmare/dream and am going about my day (lucidly) only to pick up the telephone midday and hear the distorted vocals of my nightmare boogeyman on the other end. My world shatters around me and oh, still asleep...

I'm getting on a tangent now, but I get riled up about this because no one understands so I seldom lay it all out like this... It affects my waking life; Time distortion, false memories... but I can't make myself not dream and I wouldn't want to...

Anyway this is getting long but I NEED to understand this. How my own mind can essentially..have its own mind. 🤔

So...for these reasons and more I am drawn to DMT. But as I mentioned I've only done it twice, and I've broke through once, the last time...I would go into it, but I think there's enough word vomit here to call an intro post. If you've read this far, thanks I guess because I can't tell most people this shit.

Would love to hear if anyone else struggles with their dream life, or how DMT affected/affects your dreams...

Welcome Tayzer,

I'm also starting my DMT journey so I can't comment on how DMT affects your dreams, I can only comment on how shrooms affected mine.

The first thing I would say is the answer to your question is generally understanding the question itself. You asked how could your mind have it's own mind? But are you so convinced that you yourself have a mind? Where is this mind? Where does your minds mind exist? Can you point to them?

I think it was Alan Watts who said (paraphrasing) there was a student who came to a Guru, saying his mind was torturing him and it wouldn't stop being negative. So the Guru asked the student to show him his mind so that he could help him fix it. The student could not produce his mind, and thus his problem was solved.

You're asking many questions but you already have some answers. For me Journeying only made the distinctions between Dreams and Reality more and more indistinct. As I investigated my dreams further I came up with things like in reality there is physical feelings, and smells and taste, only to have my dreams begin having the same perceptions. In essence my dreams became more and more real, and reality became more and more dreamlike. Simply put the more you try and put the distinction between them in stone, the more the stone will begin to crumble.

Now reality is a recurring dream I have, and my dreams are journeys into infinity that I purposely label as unreal so as to not give them the power to affect "waking" life. My dreams inspire me to create in this world. Reality is structured and coherent, when dreaming I have no need for the structure and can thus go over the top and really shake things up. Once things have been shaken up I can decide what is worth introducing to my structured reality.

In essence, both became dreams to me. One structured, my permanent and ever growing creation. One unstructured, my permanent and ever changing inspiration.

But that is alas my path, and I hope it has shed insight for you on yours and if not then I hope you find the answers you seek.

Safe travels,
No One.

Hi, thanks for your response! I haven't done shrooms more than a few times, and never for the right reasons. But I definitely agree with what you're saying. My dreams have always included sensory feeling, which definitely is part of what blurs things in retrospect. As far as my mind, I know it's intangible, and my mind, does not have its own mind. But it certainly feels that way sometimes when I confidently wake up in my bed, and have thoughts and feelings, only to find out nothing is real. My heart drops, I get the lump in my throat, as if it were a waking tragedy. Like there's some outside force, playing me with smoke and mirrors.

The single time I did break through on DMT, it was positive, but it taunted me. The overall message was that I would never be in control, ultimately, and that I would never fully understand the extent of any of this. I was left feeling humbled, and apologized profusely when coming down, for overstepping some unknown boundary...

There are definitely more questions, than there are answers.

Tayzer,

You never ever have to thank me for a response, it is always a pleasure.

I can certainly see how having your dreams always contain sensory input would blur the lines without the need of psychedelics, and I think i understand your mind in a mind analogy a bit more clearly now. If I'm understanding you clearly you're saying that your Ego/waking self, is the mind within the greater experience of reality which is in and of itself a mind?

Leo Gura in his spiritual enlightenment videos asks the query of where did reality come from? And ultimately settled on reality is a bubble within an infinite chain of bubbles as his most preferred answer.

I like this answer too. My Ego is a bubble within the reality that is my life, which is a bubble within the greater life of the earth and the universe as we know it, which is a bubble within the irrational infinite universe. Conversely my thought constructs are bubbles within my Ego's bubble, and their thought constructs within them. In that sense a mind by it's very nature can contain many minds, and those minds too can contain minds. The question ultimately is which mind do you identify with.

Freedom comes from not identifying with any of them and learning to just go with the flow. I love the Doctor Strange analogy for this, it may seem like you'll never have control, but by surrendering it I assure you you will gain some. It is an odd concept surrendering control to gain control, but if you agree you don't have control now it makes it pretty easy to surrender what little control you believe you have. Only by completely surrendering can you witness the ebb and flow without you playing with it, that will give you a way to learn it's in's and outs, and ultimately how to navigate it.

And certainly there are more questions than answers! For what are answers but questions in and of themselves?

Enjoying our chat,
No One at all.

Ain't that the beautiful truth. Bubbles is a good way to put it. Yes, my ego is a bubble within the reality bubble. I actually have a fair sized back piece tattoo, of 'the flower of life': a bunch of overlapping/interconnected circles in a circle. I love the concept...

You're right about surrendering too, I think after 8+ years that must be where I'm headed. Not necessarily giving up my quest- but it coming to an end nonetheless... maybe I will be able to completely abandon the idea of control, and just be content... who knows... My trip was almost an excercise in letting go. It felt like I was in a raging river of feeling, holding onto a root branch of ego for dear life. The metaphorical rapids crashed around me until I absolutely couldn't hold on. I truly thought I was going to die, but I let go, and what a wave of relief it was to be swept out to sea...