Molecular pharmacology studies have shown that psychedelic 5-hydroxytryptamine (5HT)2A agonists stimulate neurotrophic and transcription factors associated with synaptic plasticity. These data suggest that psychedelics could potentially induce structural changes in brain tissue. Here we looked for differences in cortical thickness (CT) in regular users of psychedelics. We obtained magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) images of the brains of 22 regular users of ayahuasca (a preparation whose active principle is the psychedelic 5HT2A agonist N,N-dimethyltryptamine (DMT)) and 22 controls matched for age, sex, years of education, verbal IQ and fluid IQ. Ayahuasca users showed significant CT differences in midline structures of the brain, with thinning in the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC), a key node of the default mode network. CT values in the PCC were inversely correlated with the intensity and duration of prior use of ayahuasca and with scores on self-transcendence, a personality trait measuring religiousness, transpersonal feelings and spirituality. Although direct causation cannot be established, these data suggest that regular use of psychedelic drugs could potentially lead to structural changes in brain areas supporting attentional processes, self-referential thought, and internal mentation. These changes could underlie the previously reported personality changes in long-term users and highlight the involvement of the PCC in the effects of psychedelics.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25637267

*note: the dose range in this report is highly inflated, there is no reason to ever dose this high*

the first time I consumed N,N-dimethyltryptamine I smoked 200mgs of translucent yellow crystals of DMT free-base on top of a small amount of high-grade cannabis (about 0.35g cannabis). I consumed the entire contents of the smoking utensil in a single inhalation. I held my breath, in less than 5 seconds an intense rush began, first I felt more intoxicated than I had ever been, then, pure awe, "I don't believe it!" I kept repeating in my head, "this is impossible".... my surroundings began to quiver and slither apart, faster than anything I had ever seen before, everything began moving away from everything else in a mash of brilliant color and geometric form, with blinding speed and intensity, before fully shattering the "reality" in my visual and mental field...

It came on like a freight train, completely unstoppable, I remember thinking "oh fuck! Get this stuff out of me!" And frantically trying to exhale, keep.n mind that I still had not had the chance to even count to 10, or even fully exhale. It was pure terror, I thought "now you have done it! You killed yourself!" After brief mourning at the life I had just departed from I began to pay attention to the present, I remember feeling like I was at the bottom of a foggy mountain with dirt roads, the clouds felt like a domed ceiling, everything was wet, misty, cloudy and rainy, I was overcome with an intense feeling of panic and deja-vu, I felt like a lost child, everything I knew about who I was or my life or earth seemed like a distant dream, like I dissolved out of existence, I knew that I had died, I knew that I was dead, and I was certain that you had been here before, the dejavu was as intense as the terror and awe and I was emotionally overwhelmed while confronting the event of my death.

Just like sand slipping through finger cracks I tried to hold onto this all as my entire identity as a human was dissolved, I remembered my name, the earth, my family, who I was, being a human, and life, but like grabbing at smoke, it was futile, everything slipped away and nearly faded entirely out of my memory, impossible to cling to all this, I had to let it go...
I kept thinking "what the fuck was life?"
...I could not tell if I was breathing or not, I would take air in, but couldn't feel it, I began taking in rapid, deep, panicked deep breaths, thinking that none of the oxygen was entering my system or reaching my lungs, then noticed a pain in my chest...

A giant mantis like being had its claws in my chest! It proceeded to tear open my chest and stomach removing all my organs and insides, I was about to go into shock when I saw a bright green light flash over my shoulder, it nearly hit me, it then became a beautiful fractal-geometric object, morphing and color changing, at times it was metallic at other times it was a beautiful jewel, and all the while to look into it was to view endless geometric fractal patterns, moving, morphing, and changing color.
The mantis then put this object in my torn up body, he began to make billions of these objects, each one unique and radiating beautiful colored light, and the mantoid filled my body with them, billions of them, becoming small as atoms to construct the new insides and organs of my mangled corpse, then I was sealed up and propelled into an orange light where I was resurrected, my conscious-being (soul) was becoming reunited with the physical world...

...then I felt as if I was being pushed head first through a thick gelatinous membrane, violent gesticulations of the membrane surrounding me were forcing me through this thing...I was being born!...

...slowly I began to recognize my surroundings, my face still covered in tears, I looked up and saw the branches of a tree in the yard all slither in sinister fashion in from all directions to take place and solidify as the tree in the distance, the world began to slither back into place, most things moved in an elegant liquid serpentine slithering motion, or like the dancing movements of a flame, I was deeply reminded of psilocybin.

As the world constructed itself back into the familiar, so did my conscious state and memory, I was still disoriented, and fairly traumatized, I thought I had been gone for millennia, "how long was I gone I asked?"....
"about 20 minutes" was the answer
...those who were there said in reality I curled up into a ball and began to cry for 20 minutes.
I was wondering why my face was wet, because it felt like I had actually just been through being born, I was still covered in tears and shaken, I felt like I had been "turned inside out", then that I had died, been dismembered, rebuilt, and resurrected, everything was in a state of complete restructuring, I was a entirely new person, truly reborn, seeing the world through new eyes...

The immense deep spiritual and psychological implications of this experience left me for ever transformed, reborn as a new person entirely, it was the single most meaningful thing that has ever happened to me, and changed me in many significant ways, all for the better.

( I was not looking for enlightenment, awakening, or answers, I was not looking for transformation, and I really did not expect much, I was simply curious...most people expect a good deal and have set goals or specific reasons for ingesting the compound, and while this is fine, it's entirely unnecessary. )

-eg

'The shaman is not merely a sick man, or a madman; he is a sick man who has healed himself -Terence McKenna

a shaman is someone who has seen the end, and therefore is a trickster, because you don't worry if you've seen the end. If you know how it comes out you go back and you take your place in the play, and you let it all roll on without anxiety. This is what boundary dissolution means. -terence McKenna

Shamanic abilities are generally brought on by a personal crisis, such as illness or sudden shock. Where this is not naturally forthcoming, initiations designed to produce the effects of such a state are used to bring about re-birth as a shaman. The shaman sees through everything, dies and is reborn, suffers the pangs of the world, and sees into its darkest corners. The near-death of initiation is common to shamans the world over and a metaphor for their experiences. Afterwards, they are never the same; everything has changed for them. They have known total knowledge and, to a degree according to their skills and strengths, have permanent access to it from that moment on.
( -shamanism bible; Mathews )

The actual initiation can be equally excruciating. Most initiations in most cultures involve a symbolic death and rebirth: the candidate 'dies' to his old identity and is reborn to a new one. Shamanic initiates often experience this resurrection in gruesome ways. When the rai (spirits) make a shaman in western australia, they take him to their home.
'There they cut him up and hang up his insides...his body is dead, but his soul remains there, and on the order of the rai to look steadily at the part hanging up, he recognizes [his organs]. His body is put over a hot earth-oven, with magic cooking stones in it, and covered with paper-bark. The perspiration streams down. The rai replace his insides and close up the flesh. He is told that he can henceforth travel in the air like a bird or under the ground like a goanna...
....
Stories of disembowelment, dismemberment, and reassembly ( usually with magic stones or crystals inserted into the shamans frame) are best understood in this light.

-Hidden Wisdom: A Guide to the Western Inner Traditions
By Richard Smoley, Jay Kinney; page

The initiation is understood as a process of death and rebirth: “first, torture at the hands of demons or spirits, who play the role of masters of initiation; second, ritual death, experienced by the patient as a descent to hill or an ascent to heaven; third, resurrection to a new mode of being – the mode of ‘consecrated man,’ that is, a man who can personally communicate with gods, demons and spirits. For initiatory death is always followed by a resurrection; that is, in terms of psychopathological experience, the crisis is resolved and the sickness cured. The shaman’s integration of a new personality is in large part dependent on his being cured

-Written by Mircea Eliade, the entry for Shamanism in vol. 19 of Man, Myth and Magic

A shaman may be initiated via a serious illness, by being struck by lightning, or by a near-death experience (e.g. the shaman Black Elk), and there usually is a set of cultural imagery expected to be experienced during shamanic initiation regardless of method.

According to Mircea Eliade, such imagery often includes being transported to the spirit world and interacting with beings inhabiting it, meeting a spiritual guide, being devoured by some being and emerging transformed, and/or being "dismantled" and "reassembled" again, often with implanted amulets such as magical crystals. The imagery of initiation generally speaks of transformation and granting powers, and often entails themes of death and rebirth.
http://www.crystalinks.com/shamanism.html

*in reference to Siberian shamanic initiation*
Often these initiations by either another shaman or the spirits involved a traumatic visionary death and rebirth experience. Sometimes this included a journey to the underworld, meetings with deities and the would-be shaman’s body being dismembered and then put together again
http://www.newdawnmagazi...ts-of-siberian-shamanism

The psychedelic experience is like anything else in life. Different personalities react differently to different situations. Preparation and integration are two important variables amongst a million others.

eg's experience may have had a very different effect on a different person.

There is also luck involved, or Karma, if you prefer.

Utterly transformed, yes. "fully healed", no. But there is a lot more factors in my life than just aya

Energy in energy out

Things got really interesting though once I transitioned to a diet high in fruit along these sorts of ideas
http://leftinthedark.org...ark%20free%20edition.pdf