I am going to write about the most profound experience I have had while delving into DMT for the first time, well actually the second. Two years ago I went on an Ayahuasca retreat and had a mild introduction to the spirit world. As I only took one dose (most participants took a second dose further into the ceremony and had a heavier experience), I was in a comforting dream state and spent 2-3 hours being shown around by some entity all parts of my own psyche. Like a colorful rollercoaster but it was by no means intense. I still to this day think of it as just an introduction to this world and it was a really pleasant experience in a controlled environment.
I always wanted to go back and delve deeper as I felt that it really helped and left me refreshed with a different understanding to a lot of aspects of my life.
As going back to do another ceremony involved visiting another country, I decided two years on to acquire some DMT. Everyone had told me that it was more intense but did not last as long as Ayahuasca. I researched it online thoroughly and was fascinated with people’s experiences on the drug.
One recent evening, I was in my living room completely chilled and had no work the next day. My wife was out visiting her dad, but I knew she was coming back in around 45 minutes. I decided to stick some meditative music on the TV and load up a pipe of DMT. It was a small amount and I didn’t know if it was going to work as it was a hash pipe, but it had a glass bottom.
It took a long time to burn, but eventually white smoke started to appear. I researched a little about what to do. Took one small hit, then another, and then one big hit. I immediately saw intense visuals right in front of me, closed my eyes and felt like I was watching the most trippiest of scenes where everything kept interchanging and morphing and nothing stood still. After about a minute, I was back in the room but it felt exactly like what I felt 2 years ago at the ceremony, only much milder.
I think I came back down more quickly as I panicked thinking my wife was going to walk back into the house at any minute. 20 minutes after I came back down she did. The first thing I said was “You have got to try this shit”. The only way I could describe it to her was it was like a trailer for Ayahuaska.
She sat down, I loaded the pipe with the same sort of amount (not too sure how much but not a lot), I held the pipe, made sure she was relaxed and calm. She took three tokes, led back on the couch and after two minutes came round in a fit of giggles. She described it the same as what I had seen.
After this, I loaded the pipe with a lot more (probably 1/3 gram), waited an hour and tried again. This time I saw a lot more visuals and it was more intense, but I didn’t feel like I broke through. What I had noticed was that the DMT had turned to crystal and sat at the bottom of the pipe. I read that this could be reused and thought I will leave it for another day.
I then started researching about breaking through to the other side, and felt I hadn’t at all. Just got to the 1st state of visuals and came back.
The next day, my wife was out for the afternoon so I thought I would try again. This time without music, just in my bedroom in the dark. I relit the pipe with the crystals, after 30 seconds smoke came pouring out of it. I took 3 biggest tokes. The pipe turned into a long hissing snake and I put it down, closed my eyes and I was in Hyperspace!! It was incredible! I cannot explain a lot of what I saw but I do remember talking to one entity that seemed to be like a mad DJ on a spaceship wheeling this mechanical wheel around like a record player on its side saying look at this! A whole load of weird and illuminating stuff went on. Whether I was on some sort of craft or vehicle I wasn’t sure. I felt like it was. I came down so at peace and remember seeing like a whole swirling pattern that was larger than the universe and felt at one with everything that I just saw. There was a voice just saying be at peace, do not worry, we are all one. So soothing and I felt good after coming round.
I came down and after ten minutes, and then went again. Same thing happened, this time even more intense. I came to this entity whose presence felt like a wise old crazy and wizard, who showed me an opening with his hands. He opened a void of nothing and the explanation I got was this is the nothing, and we are approaching it. We are all working hard to try and remain here and keep everyone here, but we are running out of time. This was all then getting hectic and as I was leaving, I remember shouting back saying next time you need to show me what is through there, what is past this world that you are in! Are you trapping us here? As I came down this time, there were space battles going on and I was in space watching a real life Star Wars movie.
I felt panicked and really should have left it there, but after a few minutes, I did it again, still this pipe had more in it. Back I went, but this time it was bad. My mood wasn’t right going back into something like this and I was attacked. All I remember was seeing red and feeling as if I was being abused for asking to see through this void. I was being poked and I had to submit. I kept apologizing and felt like I was really being put in my place for going too far. I came round abruptly this time and in my head all I kept saying was sorry, sorry, sorry. I felt like I had been possessed, and I went to the kitchen sink and kept washing my hands then looked to the fridge for orange juice or something to bring me down.
I eventually came down and was calm, but decided that DMT was not a drug to mess with. Going into it in the state of mind I was the third time was near to insanity. I believe it is like a mirror. If you are calm and in good surroundings, it is enjoyable and the experience is better than anyone could possibly imagine. If you go in carrying the wrong emotions, it could look to destroy and terrify you.
I probably will not touch it for a while now if not ever! Or at least until I know I am in a good surrounding, chilled and calm. I am however curious as to what that void was and what is actually beyond the world of DMT? Is there a further rabbit hole you can fall down or is it out of bounds? How can there be anything past the spiritual realm? Maybe that’s a place that I am not ready for and they were there to warn and prtect me from. Or was it something that they were hiding away and they are the gatekeepers to another well laid prison beyond our own? More than likely it is all in my head. Whatever I experienced it was very thought provoking indeed!