Hello everyone! I have not yet experienced the spice. I am 38, divorced, I am a father of 5 biologically (I believe) as well as like 10 step kids. Its been a rough couple years. I spent a lot of time working out of town, driving truck in ND and WY and such. After my 2nd divorce, I felt kind of lost. I ended up in Salt Lake City living on the streets last summer. I've been addicted to heroin for over a year. Using it IV. I'm doing better the last couple months. I've been staying with my 2 daughters at my mom's. I'm only using 3-4 times a week. Still I know it's killing me. I've been researching aya ceremonies and dmt for months. I have the drive and the desire to change my life. It seems like I'm having trouble identifying the root causes or core beliefs that are messing me up.
I have ordered 250g each of diploterys Cabrerena, mhrb and caapi vine from a well reviewed vendor, with harvest dates and etc.
I am a bit nervous, I have been working on meditating and doing what I can to just be right with myself. I believe these will make a fine incense, which will help with my meditations.

Are there any bits of advice that anyone would like to convey? I will appreciate any help whatsoever. Thank you and I am glad I found this nexus of information!
Thank you all and safe journeying

Sounds like a rough time! I am sorry you are struggling!

I have never tried heroin so I can give no advice there. I have struggled a lot in my life and can relate in that respect. Using psychedelics to heal oneself is a tough journey. It takes perseverance and courage. Psychedelics can bring a new perspective into what problems we are facing in life. Sometimes that new perspective can be a trigger for true change.

True change in the self is both hard and easy. It seems to come in an instant when it does but it requires a certain perspective to receive true change. I think the mind blocks out much of what we could be experiencing in life. Even when we know we must change enable to promote a more positive life, there can be hesitation and doubt. Fear of changing. What is next? This is all I know how to be. Paralyzed, we remain in a static reality that does not truly represent who we truly are.

It sounds like you know that you need to change some things in your life enable to create a more positive life experience. That thought process right there can be enough to start the ball rolling. Never think psychedelics will be the cure all. Most of the work is done with a sober mind. I am an advocate for meditation and feel this will help with many of life's dilemmas.

You are creating you own reality. When you can see this, you can take steps to improve your situation. I wish you the best of luck in your healing and psychedelic path. Please use the nexus as a resource on that path. Come here and tell us about what you are doing to heal yourself. Such a contribution would be well received.

Good luck my friend!

Thanks dmnstr8! I've read enough to know that I'll benefit most from this if I am doing everything else I can in my life to be moving toward a state of harmony with my true self instead of dissonance. And thank you for the advice. I expected more response regarding teks and the like. I actually meant more for psychological preparation. Awesome advice! Keep it coming guys

Hey and welcome Skyjoshin,

you stated that you have the desire to make a change. You have the materials to make the medicine. You are already meditating. You have clearly put in both work and effort and have nearly made it to the start of your new journey!

Spend a lot of time reading through the site as many questions have been asked, discussed and answered here already. Hang around and there is always chat for direct communication.



Best of luck.

Welcome Skyjoshin!

I'm glad you made it here and I'm even happier to hear that you have a desire for a better life.

I struggled with addiction to Oxycontin and heroin for many years as well as alcohol and cocaine. I think the first step, which you've already made, is the hardest -- that being the decision to make a change. So you're already in a better place!

The power of the opiate is one of the strongest pulls I've ever felt from anything and it is so sinister because it makes you sick, and then in order to feel better you have to use it again, only to perpetuate more sickness and ill thoughts of oneself. I did a lot of searching trying to find out the root cause of my addiction and why I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. Finding the root of your addiction is the direction but how do you do it?

For myself, it was either having a connection to the opiate or to the spirit... and if I chose the opiate it would take my life. This is a difficult thing to describe as each person's spirituality is his/her own, but finding what that means to you can save you.. I encourage you to continue your meditation practice and find something fun to do with your time as well. Meditation doesn't have to mean sitting quietly in a dark room with a lit candle.. Though it can and does have much value used this way, meditation can simply means being in the present. As long as you are focusing on what you are doing and how you are feeling, you are in the present moment. Doing things that force you into the present are especially helpful such exercise, breathing techniques, yoga, strategic games (chess), playing music, and the occasional entheogenic journey.

Entheogens have definitely played a part in my recovery from opiate addiction, though they are never the solution. They produce the most meaningful effects of used with care, respect, and intention; reflection on these experiences I find to be the most purposeful part of all.

Anyways... you can do this man. There is a bright light calling out to you and it's within your sight. Believe in yourself, you have much more power to navigate this reality than you think! And one day you will look back at your addiction in gratitude for what you have overcome and you will feel love for yourself like never before. If you ever want to hear about my struggle with addiction drop me a PM and I would be happy to share this with you as well as anything I've learned along the way that might be helpful.

Peace and Love,

-monkey

Hey man.
First of all...lots of respect for sharing!

Well in fact I know a bit about addiction. I have not been addicted. But i'm in close contact to a guy who has been addicted for over 20 years. GHB and a lot of other crappy stuff. Did you ever hear about Iboga? It has the power to get Heroin addicted people clean without all the nasty withdrawal symptoms. It is really powerful.
There are people around here who tried everything to get clean.....nothing worked. Then they came along Iboga. And it worked! After the first step towards getting clean they also wanted to get to known to the facts why they were addicted. And that's where Mother Ayahuasca sent them answers. I know a guy who is opening up a center in the Netherlands where he is going to treat addicted people.
This guy told me that for addicted people the first ayahuasca ceremony is important to get rid off all the bullshit...It should not be about self reflecting and stuff...just throwing up all the trash out of your soul. The second should be with the intention to find the answer to the question 'why am I addicted'. And the third one with the intention to find a way never to let it happen again. With these ceremonies the base is build. Some need 5 or more to achieve it...some achieve it at the first. No matter how long it takes...it's about YOU! Your soul deserves to be free! And the fact that you are asking for help shows that you know that you are worth it.

Check the stuff about Iboga and addiction.
And if you are going to meet Mother Ayahuasca...trust her! She will take care of your spirit and soul!

I really hope you are going to be alright. And ofcourse you can send me a PM if there are any questions.
Cheers mate
I send love and peace over to you

Ayahuasca can be great for "deprogramming" and relieving yourself of destructive compulsions and habits learned in the past, however this would be an endeavor best embarked on after one has fully completed withdrawal.

I recommend "ibogaine", ibogaine is derived from the root of an African shrub called "Tabernanthe iboga", ibogaine has been shown to allow one to stop opioid use with little to no withdrawal. There are risks involved, and ibogaine is not legal in the United states, though there are treatment facilities in various countries. (Just like anything else, research is key, there are "scam centers", there are also legitimate centers, in depth research makes a huge difference)



ibogaine is a rough experience, physically and mentally, and there are risks involved, however, I feel that after one engages in personal research on the matter, and understands the potential risks and benefits, that ibogaine becomes a viable option for cessation of opioid use without having to endure withdrawal...

There are also claims that ibogaine prevents future cravings, and for some this may be true, however the "addiction cure" claims in my eyes are over-zealous and misleading, I seriously doubt iboga "cures" addiction, though it does allow one to cease opioid use without withdrawal, and may help in preventing future drug use.

-eg