Hey guys, I'm so so glad I found the spirit molecule and turned it into changa.
I was not really looking to use Changa for crazy trip experiences or to communicate with aliens. I merely am using this combination of molecules for bettering myself and understanding how I ended up in the emotional wreckage that is my life.
Somehow I went from a happy free spirited child into adolescence and experiencing a really rough ride during my teenage years. I know, 1st world problems huh? Then my 20's were just about a complete disaster. Well here I am at 30 and I feel like I'm old enough to reflect and understand what happened with help from changa.
My first experience was in the woods alone. I have a special hiding spot where no one bothers me. I loaded up a small amount of changa in my GVG and let it rip. It was a 1.5/5 on the experience scale as far as visuals. I was just right above a body buzz with this experience. However, I've found at this dosage, it is just enough to open up the heart and emotions. I was listening to some zen meditation music and suddenly I began thinking about my girlfriend and how poorly I've been treating her all these years. I started to cry. She didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated her. After the experience, I realized it was time to treat her as who she is to me, my best friend. I felt very uplifted and calm after this experience.
My 2nd experience which occurred today was interesting. I always thought of changa/ayahuasca as healing emotions from trauma. Something came up that I had no idea was lingering in my subconscious. My stepmother came to mind. After using the same dosage, and ripping my GVG, my emotional body became open. I suddenly had thoughts of my stepmother. I realized how important of a role she played in my life as a child. I realized that she was a gift in my life and still is. I have really become disconnected from my stepmother these days due to distance and lack of effort to communicate. I cried even harder today over how special she was to me and her gifts. Her gifts was her presence in my life. I would have never of thought I would be so emotional over how much she means to me. I guess it was buried below my awareness. I feel extremely tired after this experience with a dullness that is lingering hours after...