Hi all,
First of all thank you so much for the promotion, really love this community.
This report is about two Pharma-trips, the first one last week Friday and the second yesterday evening.
I kind of got into the cycle doing this every weekend, kicked off by my trip two weeks ago:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...spx?g=posts&t=71266
1st Trip last week Friday:Dosage: 50mg freebase DMT + 250mg Harmala isolate mixed in a single glass of OJ
I had a bath before drinking the medicine, noticed some negative emotions crawling around, but did not think too much about it since the previous trip went so well.
Shortly after the DMT started working, I found myself drawn to strong dark energies and could not control/resist it much.
The first 1-2hours of the trip were a struggle, until I finally realized these things:
- Feeling bad is a choice, you have the power to
take control.
- Thoughts and emotions are just form, they do not define who you are.
After this I slowly turned the trip around and ended up in a very positive state of mind. I learned to embrace, face -- but not lose myself in negative emotions. And with that, taking away their power.
At the beginning of the trip I was quite frightened for a little bit that I might be stuck in this for hours. But after mastering the difficult terrain I felt very much empowered and euphoric. This is a great skill to take back and integrate into my day-to-day life.
I see how 'difficult' trips are often the most beneficial ones.
This was a breakthrough dose, but I did not have any conversations with entities. Was resisting it during the difficult part a lot.
2nd Trip yesterday evening:Dosage: 44mg freebase DMT + 250mg Harmala isolate mixed in a single glass of OJ
I had some pre-flight anxiety here, was shooting a bit lower with the DMT. Thanks so much everyone in the chat for calming me down and encouraging me to do this! Was really a bit on the fence but so glad I did it.
Since I had the difficult start last time, I decided to focus on letting go and not resisting right from the beginning this time.
So I closed my eyes and just let it happen.
And what can I say, this has been one of my smoothest trips till date. Noticed negative emotions swirling around, but just kept 'looking them into the eye' and realized how silly they are. This amount of DMT seems to be just below breakthrough for me. Kept my eyes closed for long periods and even focused/welcomed entities, but to no avail. What I found amazing is that the skills I learned about handling emotions in the last trip seemed to be the foundation for all of this. Like a muscle that I trained and that is now lifting these things with ease. A really nice sense of self-reliance and a calm and confident presence I can always fall back to while exploring unknown territory.
I strongly feel that my ability to build these muscles and the sense of confidence/ability to take control is directly linked to the changes I've been implementing over the past months in my sober life. And vice-versa. I'm not sure where exactly I developed these things first, but the psychedelic experiences seems to strengthen them. Some things seem so ridiculous easy now in daily-life, that I wonder how I was ever scared of them in the first place. I believe the building and reinforcement of neural pathways by DMT could be part of the answer.
I'm much more at peace these days. For a long time I seemed to be slave to my thoughts and emotions. I tend to take control now. I have for the first time great confidence in myself, people and the things I engage in. It feels amazing and is somewhat scary at the same time. I'm kind a losing my sense of self, in a good way though. My character is transforming. I'm resisting this a little, but know it's too late now. The nectar tastes very sweet and I want more
