Hello all,

I have been a follower of this website for a couple years now and a member for a little over a year. This community is an invaluable resource to me and I have tried to give as much as I can to it as I also draw upon it for guidance.

After several years of extracting and smoking and sharing my own DMT I was lead to start using Ayahuasca with DMT. (When I say ayahuasca I am talking about b. Caapi only not a mixture of b. Caapi and a dmt containing plant). For about six months I grew to know the spirit of ayahuasca or at least the parts she would reveal to me. She began a process of healing in my body that I still do not fully understand.

Since I was thirteen I've had lower back pain, I would get headaches almost every day, I had a perpetual bladder problem which made me feel like I always had to urinate even if my bladder was empty. There are many other things too in my body which I wasn't even aware we're in pain because my brain had been tuning it out. All of these things have been healed.

Towards the end of that six month period ayahuasca told me that while smoking dmt was good before, now I am using it as a crutch because she has healed my body to the point where I can produce my own dmt and I was instructed to no longer smoke dmt and to practice what she has shown me to journey without the use of spice.

At first I was dismayed and I'll admit I acted childishly towards this because I did not listen to her and continued to try to visit ayahuasca through drinking the tea and smoking spice. When I finally realized it was now impossible for me to communicate with ayahuasca with external dmt I got a little angry and decided to use dmt without drinking the tea that way ayahuasca couldn't block me. That's what I thought anyways.

Apparently some part of ayahuasca is always a part of me now because even smoking dmt by itself full breakthrough doses (yes I know how to vaporize correctly and previously could break through with ease). But when I smoke dmt I get the bodily effects and the tryptamine Rush, my ears start ringing, I get all the feelings I used to. But upon closing my eyes I find myself locked in a room with only one window. Through that window I can see hyperspace from afar in all its glory. But I cannot go out of the room to once again be inside hyperspace. When I ask why ayahuasca manifests herself in front of me and does not answer with any voice but simply looks at me and shakes her head.

The reason she won't answer me is because she has already told me everything I need to know, and she does not repeat herself at least she never has to me. I know all of this and so I took a break and tried to use some of the practices she showed me to make my brain produce dmt. The main way is by swinging my head in a weird way that if I do not keep my neck muscles stretched and relaxed through yoga I can actually hurt my neck pretty bad and have in the past. The swinging reminds me of Native American dances in which their body is spasming because when you swing your head long enough eventually your whole body starts doing it. Ayahuasca had given me visions of these dances and explained to me that was the purpose of those dances was to stimulate your pineal gland and produce internal dmt.

Yet even doing this I have never been able to journey to the extent that I was able to by smoking. The path that has lead me to dmt and to want to learn all I can from ayahuasca is to me the most important thing. I never feel more fulfilled than when I am progressing along this path that has been laid out before me.

I wanted to ask in case there are people here who have had similar revelations and perhaps have been more successful than I in accomplishing this goal. I seek advice or material to read that may help me to understand better how to produce my own dmt to the level that I can trip without smoking dmt at all. I know it is possible, I know that I have the tools and knowledge to do this. And yet I still cannot so if anyone could help guide me I will gladly hear your opinions, thoughts, etc.

Thank you all fellow travelers

As far as ritual methods to release endogeneous dmt, I would refer you to the writings of Blair Mackenzie Blake and the essay "Energized Enthusiasm" by Aleister Crowley. You might have some idea what the "substance" he is talking about May be.

Thank you I will look into those!

Well there's that old saying that if you really want something you either already have it or you don't actually want it. In other words maybe Mother Ayahuasca is showing you that you already have all you need. After all life IS the trip and psychedelics just make you see that clearer and out of context, psychedelics simply make you more aware of the trip that you're already in that trip being life.

Psychedelics don't take us on a trip they remind us that we're already on one because it is the job of our biology (for survival) to actually make us forget that this is just a trip, a temporary ride. Psychedelics are just small reminder tools in this vast endless journey you have going for you already.

Have you tried meditation or breathing exercise? I find the Sa Ta na Ma meditation technique to be the best for grounding and rejuvenation. There's also a breathing exercise that I do that supposedly releases DMT in the brain, it's in through the nose out through the mouth then in through the mouth and out through the mouth then back in the mouth and then out of the nose.
Psychedelics really want us to be in the moment and present and the more we sacrifice for them the more they will reward us. The better we integrate the more bliss and guidance they'll give you. I've heard stories of people being completely engulfed by the loving nature of Ayahuasca simply because they gave up so much for the medicine via the ayahuasca diet. So just be patient for now I think mother ayahuasca right now just wants you to integrate and be present. Learn to realize what kind of 'trip' you're already in too may be the key.

I wonder how psilocybin would effect you at this point since ayahuasca, mushrooms and pure DMT are all very closely related. Good luck on your never-ending journey my friend.

Thanks for your response.

Your words really touched me. It's funny how sometimes hearing something you know in your head coming from someone else can just hit you in some new way.


Interestingly enough mushrooms work same as they always have. Chemically they may be similar but (and I know not everyone will agree with me here, but in my slice of reality ....) the spirit of the mushrooms still have much to show me. I also have not started working with the cactus yet but I have been feeling a strong urge for the past six months now to begin working with San Pedro.

I still make brews and spice to share, and just seeing people come back from a breakthrough in tears is more than enough reward for me.

Thank you again for your words of wisdom and I will definitely try that breathing technique.

Much love

Couldn't have said it better myself

Looks like mushrooms may be the most useful entheogen to you right now, I'm actually not surprised they didn't change for you they do seem quite autonomous and anomalous all at the same time. Some say mushrooms are the most anomalous psychedelic, they sure are tricky humorous bastards so it wouldn't surprise me and yes they are bastards haha. That's almost the perfect word for them, humorous gnomic bastards.