Hi All,
I'm very new here but not new to tryptamines and other experiences that promote non-ordinary states of consciousness. It has been a sort of full circle, or perhaps more accurately, round-about spiral journey. Back to the source, back to my old teachers. My eyes were initially opened up some 23 years ago by experiences dancing to music on LSD. That and a rather startling mushroom trip where I found myself on some lower level of hell without a notion that I could ever get out. Well, I did. Heh. So on I went, from MDMA to mushrooms to herbs, to mescaline, opiates, booze, and then finally, to not much at all. A few years ago I realized that I was living my life half asleep. Neglecting my psychedelic development was neglecting my soul. Like settling for the juicy steak and the "good life" in the Matrix, ya know? Anyhow, I had been working my tail off in therapy, somatic therapies, Holotropic Breathwork (of which I'm still a huge proponent) and other methods. This was helping, but it wasn't enough. I found myself dogged by depression and old false beliefs about how defective I am. Then SHE came into my life. This past April I went to my first Ayahuasca ceremony and was cracked open like a nut. She showed me how hardened I had allowed my heart to become. Once I was willing to open my heart to her, she moved right in and went to work....and purge! I went back for another round about 1 week ago. My life is changing in ways I couldn't have previously imagined. I have a little mesa in my bedroom now, and growing practice. I've given up several vices, and I'm eating a much cleaner diet. I'm living more fully in the present and working toward my goals with a clearer sense of purpose. I'm learning to be more patient with myself. Most importantly, I'm learning how to grieve. As a tool for healing and waking up. Little by little, purge by purge, integration experience by experience, one step at a time.... So here I am. So happy to be here. So happy to find such a wonderful conscious community waiting for me. I know, we're far from perfect. But in the far from perfect world, I'll take it, gratefully. To The River...