I'm slowly going up and up my doses because after i first done dmt (20mg) i had an extreme anxeity of it. Not because of a bad trip, but because of the pure intensity of the trip. However i slowly tried to take more and more my max was 30mg white and i swapped to yellow as im out of white



I just took 40mg of yellow (approx. 25 minutes ago i can still feel the eupohria and HD vision, but no CEV or OEV) and i tried to remember as much as i can directly when i got control of my body back i tried to write down somewhat but well you'll see.

at 21:10
i started to put on some meditation music and meditated somewhat so i can relax and take away my axiety i have due to pure respect of the DMT.

~21:22
I lit the fire under my oil pipe let some smoke gather and took one huge hit. I immedietly felt that was more than i ever inhaled. Directly i felt how i lose more and more control over my motoric body control.

between ~21:22 and 21:30
I felt how my body dissolved. I felt like i'm becoming everything. And i mean i was like in a void. It felt like a room tough, like a dark room. There where extremly nice visuals wich i cant remember much tough i just know due to the awesomemess of them i said "wow" all the time. I was waiting for machiene elves to show up like terrence mckenna said and like i read a lot on the internet, but there was nobody but me and i was everything. My "legs" felt like they were the end of the room they didnt feel like legs tough, they felt like a wall at the end of the void.

I remembered that i should'nt try to take control but closely watch and learn. So i said: "What are you trying to teach me?" There was no answer, i felt love tough. I still heard the relaxation music in the void and my dog breathing, but i heard my dog like he was breathing into my ear even tough he was a good meter away from me. I said: "i love you dog" (I called him by his name i dont want to use real life names though so i refer to him as dog ) i said: "I always want to be with him please"

At that moment i noticed the whole time, there was a presence right next to me. And i didnt even notice it till now. When i felt it i could'nt figure what the presence was. It felt like it was a higher loving presence at the same time i felt it was my dog and it felt like the presence was me, since i was everything. I said wow again cause that feeling was unbelieveble. And it still amazes me that i didnt feel the presence at first even tough i KNOW it was there all the time right next to me. Who or whatever it was.

21:30
I was back i directly looked at the clock wich was morphing and knew i was back. At first i gave in to pure amazement what just happened, but then i remembered that you forget what happens in hypersapce fast so i picked up a pen and wrote my experience down. Im writing it here but its in german and im translating it maybe not 1to1 what i actually wrote down due to translation errors and even what i wrote down is filled with gramatically errors, i think cause i still was high like in a 500mu LSD trip with vivid colours moving walls and stuff. Whatever here it is:

"I was all, i was all with everything in a black with everything filled room. Was god with me? The presence loved me and i it, fantastic."

I added punctuation marks to make it less confusing since i wasnt able to write them in that state .

21:33-21:40
I was still high as a kite and tried to have fun with it. In example i was waving around my arms since i had that hppd effect if you know what im talking about. I looked out of the window at the sky and the trees, it was wonderful but not so special i am always amazed by nature so it didnt feel special. I asked my dog if he was the presence with me since he woke up when i stood up. He didnt answer tough i just cuddled him shortly and he went back to sleep .

~21:40
went to this site and began writing.





Well there was certainly some things i may left out, but its impossible to write down a trip in human language anyway. Also i had some audio illusions and visuals i can neither describe nor remember exactly. But can anybody tell me where i was? I wasnt in the land of machiene elves there was nobody but me and the presence. And who was the presence? What is the void? Why do i feel like im everything in the void? What was that feeling of love i felt towards something i cant tell?


Edit: Some things i remember just now that came back to me when thinking about the trip. I felt like i was there before, i tought "man how could i forget this place" and the room wasnt completly black there where patterns in the void that kind of signed a wall but it wasnt a wall in a worldly kind of speaking. Hard to explain put it wasnt pure blackness in the void at least.

If you have to ask "was this a breakthrough?" It's a good sign that your just scratching the surface, and not "breaking-through"

-eg

This sounds like a breakthrough to me.

All of the questions you posed here should be answered for yourself. I would like to know where you think you were. Tell us what or who you think this presence is. What do you think the void is? Why do you feel like you are everything in the void? What was the feeling of love you felt?

I would be happy to answer these questions after you answer them. I would like to hear what you think. Do you think you had a breakthrough?

I look forward to your response.

Peace.

Hi Sedric,

there are a lot parts of your experience that sounds familiar for me.

Also the question "what do you show/teach me?"...still no answer, like an ant ask a human.


Writing down the experience is important, but how to find the right words?
Are you satisfied with the short duration? It seems that taking more (40mg) doesn't extend the duration.

BTW, why not posting your experience in german?
With translation you always lose details.

Thx

Well if i was to answer myself, i would think about what i felt and combine it with the thinks i learned/read on the interent. I would say this room is some kind of waiting room, it's the source. When we dont have a body to posess no dimensions to go or nirvana to exist in i think we go "back" there. I think the souls may split from there to become individuals. Well at least i believe it.

I think the presence kinda was god, depents on what you see as god. It could be the feel of the source wich would be god, maybe it was a beeing overseeing the source wich would also be god or a god? Also i felt myself (as in i felt "me" next to me) and my dog next to me right before i came back, thinking back on this for quite a time now, it could have been that my soul went back to my body but before entering it i felt it passed my body and my dog thus feeling them.

But i could also be completly wrong with that 100%, its just what i personally believe. To make any sence of what i said you first need to believe in souls and gods and you need to believe that dmt can actually make your soul leave your body. To make it short while it still would be more logical that this was just a brain generated crazy drug experience. I actually believe that what i wrote up there happened.

Also if this wasnt a breaktrough i dont know how more intense it can get... I just didnt saw machiene elves or crystal citys or past lifes of me, i didnt experience the stuff i read up i would experience thats why i wondered if it was a breaktrough or not. The entensity was extreme.

Also before doing 50mg im doing 40mg again and look where this takes me, if the experience is positive once again i'll go for the 50 and see if there's actually something even more intense than that.





I figured not many can speak this language, if i really think theres gonna be lost very much in translation im just gonna write it down in both languages to be sure.


Edit 2 days later:
I just had a breaktorugh yesterday wich i also wrote down on this forum. After giving it some thought i think the beeing in the void was looking if i was ready to go into dmt dimension. After the second experience wich was a little bit difficult i feel like it wanted to look after me, how advanced i am before granting me the next stage.