Hi my fellow 'Nauts.
With an estimated 40 million Americans suffering some form of anxiety-spectrum disease, statistically there must be quite a few on the Nexus, nevermind your international members.
Please note that this is a PSA based on my subjective, yet extensive experience. I DO NOT encourage anyone without serious anxiety, panic and bipolar problems to touch the stuff. Everyone experiences fear, worry and neurosis at times. These are vital and healthy reactions in order to put pressure on you to try and fix a threatening situation that you have to neutralise ASAP and live another day.Anxiety is nothing like these these and not an emotion either. To patients like me, benzos at therapeutic doses kill uncontrollable attacks. To an irresponsible non-patient with easy access to recreational sources, this can f*ck up your life because unlike people like me, you will experience euphoria and it will dissolve any problems you may have. Mix with alcohol and expect to miss hours of your life and you may literally do anything during that time without knowing about it. Benzodiazepine withdrawal is utterly disabling and you lose all function. It can also last for two years or more if you're locked in a serious habit. Protracted withdrawals is the term. Ethanol addiction is the only other detox that can kill you in cold turkey sitiations and make you suffer for years.
I suffer from lifelong chronic anxiety and panic disorder. My whole life I tried everything available for these conditions. About two years ago it became clear that my conditions were treatment resistant and my doctor suggested that I go on benzos for life if I want any semblance of a bearable existence. I raised my concerns about becoming an addict. He told me that he's been drinking at least two stiff whiskeys every night since he qualified as a doctor. He said that he will do this until he dies and if he stopped, his shit would fall apart quite quickly. He said that I would be no more of a drug addict than he is.
I knew I'd be a physical addict to the single most dangerous drug to run out of. I was very concerned about tolerance and needing a larger dose within months, especially when I would need more to take when I'm afflicted with panic attacks. He only believes in Xanax as it starts working within 20 minutes and kills panic plus generalized anxiety.
Two years later and I still only get 30x 1mg tablets per month. My panic attacks are still gone and I can deal with my anxiety, even though the early days of it completely disappearing has passed. I do not source from the illicit trade or use recreationally. Sometimes I will use only half doses to save up for an en extra dose before big social occasions or when my symptoms elevate beyond me being able to function normally. And also when I plan a journey evening, I'll take two tablets a few hours before and make sure the sedative/hypnotic phase is over before I begin (my tolerance is just strong enough for it to not sedate me).
Sometimes aya and changa immediately strips me of all anxiety with a peace and calm that's indescribable. But every four times or so, it seems to burn my GABA receptors with the electric fire of a thousand suns and a fibromyalgia flare-up. Not fear or distress, just the worst physical symptoms of GAD and Panic disorder, amplified. So, rather safe than sorry, I kill any possibility of hellish physical body load, especially when I know I'm going to be "in there" for hours.
PLEASE NOTE: I have tolerance. Do not even just double dose without tolerance, no matter the benzo. DO NOT EAT THESE THINGS FOR"FUN".1. The type of benzo: Xanax (alprazolam) is the best one to use because of its superior efficacy, quick onset and short half-life. You will be able to integrate and remember things because the alprazolam half-life is close to the duration of a journey. It may actually just spare you the often shocking and intense stage of adjusting to DMT and Harmala space that anxiety sufferers cannot handle. Enough spice in the mix will overpower all sedative effects, yet you will feel a lot more comfortable.
Just make sure that you take the minimum effective dose. A non-user should take no more than 0.25mg and if they are still having body load and anxiety issues, do another 0.25mg after an hour.
I'm putting this down here because so many people derive premium value from longer spice trips/aya, but anxiety sufferers cannot always handle the intensity or anxious body load every time. So if you are one of those people who just cannot handle especially the come-up, then get hold of a single 0.5mg or 1mg tablet, it would allow you to go deep and in peace. Don't get a bottle of 30. Ask around for someone to spare a milligram for you . But that's it. You are better off developing a cocaine habit, really. It can be used in a mature and respectful way and only when absolutely necessary. Be a grownup.
2. Other benzos:
Klonopin/ clonazepam - This is a more broad spectrum, long-lasting benzo with less anti-panic effect. It also only kicks in after two hours and acts slightly like an antiopsychotic as it will really dull any trip. It's the one that makes it impossible to type on a keyboard or get excited about things.
Valium/diazepam - "Feel good, no worries" pharma drug for healthy people. Not nearly as strong as Xanax until you take a hefty dose. It is also very sedating and dulling and you will not remember or be able to integrate afterwards.
Ativan/Lorazapam - Heavily sedating, for people with psychotic anxiety episodes. Will knock you out in the middle of a meth binge
Urbanol/Clobazam - Utterly of no use. Weak as piss. More a placebo that anything else.
These are the ones I know well.
If you take strain with the come-up or overall overwhelming nature of hyperspace, a minimum effective dose of Xanax/alprazolam will make it possible for you to go deep while still being awed by what your experience and integration of knowledge gained will still be possible days after the journey.