Hi,
So I had my last Pharma (and DMT in general) experience in January, which did not go so well:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...amp;m=703949#post703949
I'm feeling much better these days now, so I was eager to try again.
Decided to lower my dosage from 70-80mg freebase DMT to 50mg. Mixed the following in a single glass of Orange Juice:
50mg freebase DMT
250mg harmala isolate (about the same as all previous trips)
I let the OJ sit for a few hours until the DMT was dissolved completely. I also fasted for about 24hours prior to this, seems to make my trips much stronger.
Drank the medicine and had a glass of banana-smoothie about 15min later to speed up digestion.
After about 30min I could see first patterns on my walls and knew that it started.
The whole first hour or so I thought that this is going to be a weak trip. Did not have any nausea, and could move around in my apartment without problems.
Was thinking about going into the park.
I turned on a Tomorrowland music festival documentary on my TV, and like one minute later was a little hyperslapped.
Suddenly was pulled in and going much deeper, with intense closed eye visuals and what seemed like me dancing with entities.
Some resistance came up and I started sweating, feeling nausea and thinking about purging.
Did not want to purge and decided to lay down on my floor to relax my stomach and cool myself down.
Remembered to not resist and welcomed the experience. The nausea went away bit by bit. I was overwhelmed by this and started crying tears of joy, amazement and relief.
I realized that I could consciously control the intensity of the trip rather easily. This was much harder at 70-80mg DMT. I tuned it out a bit and got up from the floor again, being able to walk okay, still a bit shaky from what just happened though.
The next 3hours I spent mostly on my couch, diving in and out of hyperspace. When allowing it, it would pull me in quite intensely, paralyzing my body and creating a really nice, warm feeling in my stomach. I felt it would pull me deeper and deeper if I would allow it, but opened my eyes and tuned out from time to time, as I decided this was far enough for this trip.
I sensed that I could talk to entities if I wanted to, and I saw smiling faces swirling around. I was not very afraid of it, but didn't quite feel like doing it yet.
A lot of the realizations during this trip reflected changes I already made or started in my lifestyle since the last Pharma trip. I'm very happy about this as it confirms that I'm on the right track and it's a great motivation to keep me going.
DMT is a great spiritual teacher to me. Teaching non-resistance and the importance of detachment to the world of form.
We should enjoy the play of forms, but not get lost in it. It helps me a lot to not take myself or others too seriously. Alignment with the present moment, not labeling it good or bad, not wanting it to be different, yields great power. Outflow determines Inflow, smile!
The trip was pretty constant for about 4hours, with 2-3hours of comedown. I really loved the level of control, being able to walk around normally while still be able to go very deep. Think this will be my dose for a while now. Much better than being rooted to the couch by 70-80mg. Allowing the experience seems to be at least equally important as the amount of DMT used.
After some hours of sleep I woke up the next morning, still feeling flashed by the trip.
I met up with a few old colleagues and we had a few beers, also a bunch of people I didn't know there. In retrospect just doing nothing that day and dedicate it for introspection would have been much better. The beer did not help. Overall it was fine, but I couldn't talk to any of them about the trip, and at the end of the day the trip and the meetup just kind of blurred together. These were not very conscious people, which kind of made the disconnect even bigger. In the future I will plan to have the whole next day off, or spend it with someone I can talk freely about these things.