Hello fellow Nexians, earlier today my GF and I embarked upon a profound mushroom journey together. We have steadily increased our dosage over the past few weeks and interestingly enough, my GF had a full blown immersive "ayahuasca style" breakthrough. My personal experience was not as intense, even though my dose was higher, I think it was important for me to be in that state as I tried to guide her through.

She had ingested the "Terence McKenna sweetspot" of 5g dried homegrown golden teachers. I took 6 as I was trying to dig deep. I was going to write this as an experience report but what I am about to write is from what she told me, and it is not my experience, more of a general speculation I suppose. (Never mind, I think I will post this in the mushroom section after all)...

About two hours in, she went to the bathroom, and when she came out of there she reported the initial meeting with 4 childlike beings who wanted maternal comfort from her as they hugged and kissed her. She later reported that she felt as if they may have been young, lost beings who were finding comfort and solace from the energy she was emitting. She invited them to come play in the bedroom if they wanted. She asked me if that was okay to which I replied, "any cosmic being can do as they please, they do not need my permission to enter..." It was sort of in a joking way, a cosmic giggle, but I am pretty sure they heard me...whatever that means...

At some point, she asked me to load the bong with weed and I happily obliged. However, the weed kicked it up a notch..okay, like over 9000 notches. This is the point where she told me the entities were numerous and appeared ancient, yet relevant and important. As if these beings did exist in a sort of hierarchy and their symbolism with clothes and jewelry was important yet hard to focus on. She mentioned that one Entity in particular said that he was always with her and always will be. She cannot have a thought without their knowledge. They are here, and they know.

My GF is very in tune with her sexuality and I and told her before we tripped that we could of course make love, but that I wanted to wait until after the peak because to be honest, mushrooms give me immense stamina but also don't allow me to finish sometimes. I am not trying to be graphic or anything but it is relevant. I think she mistook my statement to mean that I didn't want to make love, which isn't the case in the slightest, but that thought got wrapped up in her head. Here is why this is important:

After hitting the weed a few times, she essentially described witnessing an Entity orgy of sorts unfolding before her eyes...quote "no penetration but they were all embracing and getting hot and heavy if you know what I mean... they told me that I could 'come' with them, literally, and I told them okay...it then felt like the most dominant of the beings entered me, entered my entire perception as if I wasn't me anymore...it felt like I was having the sensations of sex while the entity said 'this is what you get then, ha!'"

Then she said something to me that struck me as a little odd and a little off putting...while she was fully immersed, she told me that since I wasn't having sex with her that the entities were taking advantage of the situation and giving her what she wanted... I guess my next feelings could only be described as jealousy...I know, I know, it is stupid for feeling jealousy towards cosmic beings but nonetheless it threw me for a loop (the weed didn't help with the thought process, for the record).

She was so heavily intoxicated and in a trance-like state that I was unsure of how to proceed. We have a very active and healthy sex life, but I didn't want to push myself on her and have it become overwhelming...well, more overwhelming. "they're everywhere babe, all around me, touching me, inside of me, doing things to my brain that makes me feel insane, I can't understand...oh my, oh my, oh my.... hold me babe, hold me..."



So I held her, her beautiful body against mine, naked and pure. It was arousing to say the least and I couldn't help myself. She welcomed my advances after I had a should I shouldn't I battle with myself. I won't go into it because I am a bit of a prude when it comes to discussing the actual beautiful, nitty gritty act, but the only word to describe the next hour would be tantric. I don't know, it was fantastic though.

I honestly think I was just grossly over thinking the whole situation. She was having a sexual experience, and I was the one having trouble wrapping my head around it. I've only read about those kind of experiences, but like I said, we have a strong and regular sex life and have had tantric moments on mushrooms before, so perhaps there were some expectations that were not being met at first.

I hope this doesn't get misconstrued in any way, it was an amazing experience, albeit strange and a little confusing but not disappointing. All resolved itself and when it wasn't as intense anymore we discussed these things and I expressed my thoughts and concerns. She seemed to understand and vice versa, so mission accomplished, hehe.

I also found it funny that I mentioned in another thread recently about her not really breaking through fully with DMT, yet today, she broke through on mushrooms on an epic, sexual and mystical level easily comparable to a DMT experience. Funny how things happen sometimes.



So, as a final thought, I just wanted to express my thoughts to get some more perspectives. Was I wrong for feeling the way I did? I also found myself wondering why I didn't break through but chalked that up to needing to be present enough to hold and help her as she was submerged and incapacitated. Anyway, it is late and I'm tired and I hope I've made whatever point it was that I was trying to make...peace and love to all of you!

Sometimes with large doses of psychedelics things can be a little disorienting... And sometimes here when you are with others you wont be on the same page.... This can create a little friction that needs to be overcome to get on the same page again.

Sounds like this may have been the case?

I dont think that is anyones fault, or that anyone did anything wrong... Just sounds like the mushrooms took you both to different places and that you were not on the same page... Which is sometimes uncomfortable or confusing. Especially if you are more experienced too, this can put you in a position where you hold back from letting go because you are either trying to take care of her, trying to get on the same page, or feeling a little uncomfortable....

Glad everything resolved itself though!

Thanks Travsha, that makes sense. I was spending my time trying to make sure she didn't panic, which in retrospect seemed unnecessary because she was handling it in a neutral sort of tone. As in saying things like, "I can't believe how many there are! they are everywhere! I can't believe you don't see them...this guy is so funny! oh my gosh! what? oh my!?" etc etc... Normally we connect fully, but like you said, we were just in different places. So I held her hand and held her when she asked me to. It was all I could do.

I've been a bit down lately so I think maybe my feelings when I wrote the report were a bit misplaced, which is fine, I can sort them out. It was a heavy experience so naturally it will take some integration and time to come to terms with and understand what happened exactly. Thank you for your thoughts.

First of all Grateful, thanks for a great read, as usual...I too am very prude when it comes down to talking about my sex life (I simply feel that it's one of those things that should be kept private, period).

Secondly, no you are not "wrong" to feel the way you did. Feelings aren't "wrong" or "right", they just "are". You go through them & they dissipate & that's that. Talking through them later with your loved one is often times a great idea in regards to helping you digest & integrate them though.

Thirdly, whenever I have ingested much more than 6 grams or above of Psilocybin mushies, the yawning & tearing that occurs tends to distract me too much from the trip. That's why I love DMT as I can get to those breakthrough places without all that (at least until the end of the DMT journey when I still usually get the yawns & the tears anyway). That is also why these days I tend to use mushrooms as my go-to micro-dose substance & leave the high-dose trips for LSD & DMT.

Peace.

Beautiful report! Thanks for sharing, I'm always interested in the "heroic dose" experiences

I would have felt the same way man! Cosmic being or not, that's your woman! I think you handled this situation the best you could, and it probably worked out how it should have, you being coherent enough to guide her along. On a head full of 6grams that had to be confusing.

Peace and love friend

Thanks you for your thoughts guys, it has definitely made me feel a bit better.

My girlfriend and I discussed it more in depth last night and she came to the conclusion that the entities wanted us to make love, hence the kissing entities and the sexual nature of the trip. I guess it is possible that these entities (or the most dominant one in particular) could be some sort of sexual deviant archetype. Well, deviant is probably too harsh of a word because she said that all the entities were very nice to her and made her feel wonderful, and that they also seemed to enjoy watching us.

She also mentioned that they said I was "powerful" ... ? I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean, but it was one of the messages. Powerful in a sexual way? Powerful in a trip guiding sort of way? Powerful in some other sort of way? Again, I am probably just making too much of everything. Sometimes we can't know what everything means, hell, it may mean absolutely nothing. In the everyday world, I would not necessarily consider myself "powerful." I like to use words like, "musically inclined" and "fun" and "loving" among other things.

Another interesting aspect was how the entities reacted to music. When I loaded the bong we were about 4 hours in I think, so I had watched my peak come and go so I thought it would be nice to put on a funny show that we like called "Parks and Recreation." After hitting the ganja, it reinstated my peak and obviously kicked hers into the highest gear. The episode that was playing just so happened to have a lot of different music segments and my GF couldn't help laughing hysterically because apparently the entities LOVED the music and would dance along with it. I can imagine that it must have been intense and hilarious.

After she said that, I thought about pulling out my guitar and seeing how they would react to that for her but as I mentioned in the trip report, the weed had sort of spun me into these weird thought loops all while trying to make sure she was okay and that I could be right next to her if she needed me. I did try waving my arms around in the air playfully to see if it would affect them...I'm still unclear if it did because she didn't say anything while I was doing it and I forgot to ask her last night.

All in all, I am feeling a lot better about the whole situation thanks to you guys and the conversations between her and me. I tend to over think things and I am a worrier by nature! Thanks Mom! But I am just glad that we have the capacity to talk to each other straight and handle our feelings like adults. Otherwise, it could have become a traumatizing experience for the both of us, which is the exact opposite of what I (we) try to achieve with psychedelics.

Much love!

Nice write up Grateful one...MYSTICAL
I wish i could use psilocybin the way you describe.
Sadly for me the headache that follows a psilocybin journey is far too cruel and painful to make me embark on a journey.

Thanks Make Shift, glad you enjoyed it! I wish there was a solution for your headaches, it is a shame that you cannot enjoy mushrooms without having to be in pain. With all the information that floats around here, perhaps a solution is right in front of us. We just have to put the puzzle together! Easier said than done of course! Good luck friend!