Hello all,

My name is lililininjure (obviously not my real name) and I have been interested in hallucinogens for the past 8 years of my life. Since my laziness is at its peak on this beautiful Saturday morning, I would like to introduce myself with a glob of text I egested I'd say a week ago. I think this glob successfully summarizes my current philosophical struggles and suggests that I am partial to existentialism and hard determinism in the model of Nietzsche and Sartre. Don't get me wrong, I may think existentialist thoughts, but I don't like existentialist thoughts

Without further ado:




Begin with yourself and move outwards: there is something seemingly intrinsic in your being a person – something perhaps differentiating the surface of your skin to what is around you. You conclude that this something is your conscious recognition of what defines you. You define yourself in respect to your body and assert that this definition, this ego box, is existent, consistent and therefore a demonstration of your individuality. This is your extension of being to the outmost bound of the flesh that constrains you. However, you feel uncertain. Your organs, literally “tools”, are not constrained by your ideal of self. Uncertainty is fed by your knowledge of change – you say: “I have grown and I know enough about biology to say that little in me is the same as what I began with.”

FEAR from all the implications this knowledge brings; neither faith nor the monolith of societal self-denouncing morals branded on your mind resist the wave of certainty you have been drawn into.

FREE at last from the ignorance of division, distinction, description, and convictions about choice.

Every will appears to you to be on a track of continual expression and fully on the tail of existence (there is then no will). The procession of unity in existence tears this featured world apart and gives rise to what swims within you now: structures of understanding.
What is the great implication of unity, contingency, and expressions of existence? Mechanism in all its profundity is the conclusion you acknowledge. Yet, there is in you a structure of hope to cast aside all structures in search of a metaphysical non-causality. In other words, your battle against the structures of existence you certainly believe in moves to explore the possibility of being apart from determinism.

Your life is a struggle against the tyranny of existence, so try to make choices and be truly free! – what is this? There is no exit, my friend. The conclusions you have made default to all is existence, all is one, and therefore I am none but within the one.

If you read this far, thanks for reading!