If so, how? I mean whilest you are sober.

For me personally, after only a single sub-breakthrough dose I have been left feeling a little bit derealised and generally fvcking weird for nearly two months now, although it could be much worse so I am thankful for that! It's like I am living in a dream and am not really this person who I think bit just a kind of charachter in some hyperdimensional videogame. I am feeling not really connected to reality from the visual images of the external environment that I see.

I use to enjoy DMT but I did not think this would happen as I thought it was supposed to bring you back in touch with your nature, reality and the spiritual... now I feel it has done the complete opposite. I stay positive and keep outdoors and socialise which helps but I still feel weird. No history of family mental illness. It never did this before on the 10-15 sub-breakthroughs I have had and then all of a sudden, shell shock. Has this happened to anyone else?

Almost seems as if reality is some kind of illusion? Like a veil or curtain & something is going on behind it no? Feels like something potentially horrible & reality is a distraction from it?

Well it would seem illogical to think there is nothing else... afterall, just look at how many loose ends there are in our reality...

what is matter?

what is time?

what is space?

what are dimensions?

what is electromagnetism?

It is counter-intuitive to think that nothing exists beyond all that or is giving rise to those aforemention phenomena because something else MUST be going on in order for us to emerge in the way we are currently.

Does that make me anxious because it could potentially be horrible? No, but I feel a very fucking strange feelings that I think is from smoking DMT and it won't go away. It is as strong and creepy as De Ja Vu but very different, yet alike. It is like it is toying with me, about to let me in on some existential secret and I am about to fall on the floor with a horribly intense feeling of awe and confusion but then it fades.

I`m d effinately not arguing that there is nothing else. It seems very apparent to me that there is. We are far from understanding the mechanics of reality as humans though, & we will both likely be long gone before science figures it all out.

I do understand where you are coming from though. It is a very hard feeling to put into words & convey to others accurately.
I think what you need is to figure out a way to get your mind under control & pass through it when you start feeling like this maybe.

Is it a constant thing or does it come in bouts? I know I still feel something like what you describe from time to time when my anxiety gets bad & breathing helps me alot. Focusing on the task at hand & reminding myself of the people closest to me & the things I know I can trust in, re-assuring myself that there are people that i can connect with & count on for very real things is very comforting also.

It's like you are being revealed the secrets of the universe yet your physical body and brainpower is not complex nor coherent enough to analyze and decode it for your brain to understand?

Or.

It's a common feeling (what you just said) from psychedelic use. A side effect. A lie. An illusion. The feeling of getting close to an answer only to realize there was no answer. A false hope. A carrot on a string to bring us back and hope we get just a little further to uncover something.

Some deep meaning that will help us cope with our endless search of the truth.

So many times I've felt that. So many times I am left with nothing. Just emptiness.

- Heroin Hero

If there is no answer maybe you are asking the wrong questions
Rather than what, how, why & what comes next, the question should be directed towards the self & how to improve what we experience here & now, what is important, & what changes can be made to improve the world one lives in not only for oneself, but for others as well.
What experiences can be created & shared with others that will mutually provide fond memmories to reflect on & make life more enjoyable & positive?

Do you have a meditation practice or spiritual practice?

Before I practiced meditation, I experienced similar feelings after some DMT and LSD trips. It is very easy to feel disconnected from the earth and from yourself after you have spent some time in a consciousness with a lifted veil of reality. Since I've developed a meditation practice not only have my trips felt more comfortable and meaningful, but afterwards I am able to feel one with my body again and grounded with the earth more easily.

There are multiple meditation techniques that are helpful for grounding, but even just getting into the practice of sitting quietly within yourself can be extremely beneficial.

Hope things start to feel better soon, although maybe this state of consciousness you are experiencing now will push you in a new direction for answers and understanding.

Peace!

Yes



This is good advice

Things like yoga/meditation/healthy food/time in nature and so on help a LOT. As does any kind of creative outlet, and furthering your understanding/awareness through the exploration of relevant literature both modern and ancient. I try not to get attached to things but it's nice to have framework(s) for understanding these states.

It will disconnect your old reality, it will connect to a new wider reality (of which the old was just one element).
As long as you keep your point of reference with the restraints of the old one, you'll feel lost. As soon as you start connecting with the new one, you'll feel more at home than ever.

So it did the opposite for the old one,
it delivers the promise for the new one.

The new one will have more questions and less anchor points, but coming home in that and embracing that is gonna save you lillyass from pain caused by disturbance. Becoming the disturbance itself, flowing, flexible, becoming the contradictions and paradoxes instead of trying to solve them out into an answer for the mind, ....., it will bring you in touch with that kind of reality and spirituality. There will be no loss of a single point of vision or line of thought, there will be many of them, but not conflicting anymore, but they'll be family. The craving high need for solution and to "single out" and all the energy spend to set down and secure the individual, all that will become just a possibility to spend your time with less of priority. Never before the option to embrace will finally consolidate and manifest what love actually means. Doing something particular will not disappear at all but out of a completer feel with swirling existence that slowly replaces the former tiny personality. This last one, yes, you will lose touch with.

Welcome

Maybe this is the truth my friend?

If nothing is real except the self what is to be afraid of?

I've had these feelings but honestly I've just accepted that they are true. I'm not going to prove it for you because everyone has their own way of understanding it, but i can share my perspective that even as a biochemist trained in a traditional western conceptualization of reality I just can't shake this fact. When I look at the world that seems enormously diverse and individualistic at the surface I can break it down, going deeper and deeper until what i've arrived at is some ubiquitous presence. Something that entirely lacks the kind of differentiation I'm accustomed to in daily life. Entirely lacks purpose or meaning. Something from a partical physicists wet dream that through some deranged autoerotic behavior gives birth to a universe of tangible casual associations and fleeting yet captivating perspectives. But despite what feels objectively true in daily experience... my sense of self... my autonomy... the sequence of images, sounds emotions that i call my story... I know that I can not separate myself from this underlying reality. I know that I can never be more than a marionette in this cosmic happening. Like you feel, the life I've known has been no more than a dream. A construct of evolutionary perspective designed simply to preserve and perpetuate itself. Not to deliver truth. Even the body which I have so dearly held to be mine can not be delineated from the air, the food, the sunlight, the microbes that inhabit and sustain it... "I" am merely a concept which I have not allowed to expand beyond the epidermis. And the "other" is merely a concept which I have not allowed to expand into myself.

Derealization is like having your head ripped back from a screen just to realize what you've been looking at your entire life was only a screen. A never ending sequence of emotions, imagery, sensations, etc that have kept you in a trance for as long as you've been a witness to anything. Being ripped out of something you've been engrossed in your whole life can, as you say, be a bit of a shell shock. The underlying reality can seem void of meaning and ultimately hollow. It can leave you feeling rather aimless and uncertain as to what comes next. Worried that your disillusionment will prevent you from your connection to the human experience. That you'll be doomed to a universe of ambiguity and half-truths. Everyone has their own reaction. If you've ever binge watched several seasons of a good show on netflix you know what I'm talking about. You become familiar with all the characters. You spend days or weeks learning the intricacies of their personalities and being more and more drawn in to the plot. You learn to genuinely hate some characters and genuinely love others. Their fears make your own heart beat faster. Their joys can draw tears at times. And then just when their world is practically a part of your own reality the shows over. And you feel really fucking weird. Empty and disconnected... But eventually the most miraculous thing happens... you just put on a new show and start all over again.

So for me this was never too hard because I wasn't quite fond of the movie I was watching (or the dream I was living, however you choose to view it). But understandably it can be. Try to own these feelings though. Don't be afraid to live a dream. Don't be afraid to build a new one. And don't be afraid to tear that one down and start again. Each time learning from all your past dreams, bringing with you the things that you love, and leaving behind you the things that threaten your spirit. It's not an overnight process but as you become more and more comfortable with the transitions you should find yourself more able to connect. Sometimes it's almost like we don't want to connect because we're afraid to be pulled out of it again. If you can't accept that process it can be hard to move forward. But know that you're always safe in a world that is only composed of dreams. Be comforted by that and fluid in the craft.

It gave answer to few, and opened billions of new questions.

There's a lingering feeling, it's always there, timeless and ethereal. It pervades reality and seems to be tied in with my own witness. No words for it really. Sometimes it's insanely ecstatic, sometimes pretty impartial, but it's always there. It never used to be there until I had some of my strongest experiences with psychedelics, especially DMT.

Every gesture, every leaf blowing, every cloud, every smile, every conversation, every death, every car that drives by; while all very real in their own right, all feel to be maskings of the Infinite. All expressions of the the ineffable being played out. Sometimes this hits me really hard. It's not so much a 'belief', but a deep seeded feeling, gut feeling, an intrinsic knowing.

During a given day it's much easier to pull myself aside mentally from whatever situation is happening, stand apart from it yet be a part of it. Observe, participate, yet let that moment just flow accordingly, and not get hung up mentally on any specific area. This aspect tends to be the biggest thing i've experienced post-DMT/psychedelics.

^^^ What a splendid way to give it words

Sometimes the thought crosses my mind that it may be for our own good that we can't remember what happened...