Hi! I'm so excited to be here. I'm just going to dive right in to how I got here/my experiences with DMT so far (which are limited.)
I'm a sophomore in college now. The first time I heard of DMT was years ago in high school; I had a friend who tried it once alone in his room and had crazy things to say about it, but I wasn't interested myself at the time. What it meant to him I have no idea, I think it was mostly just a fun experiment for him...which now that I've learned more about DMT, I'm glad that it turned out positively for him.
Fast forward to this past New Year's night, 17 days ago now. I did DMT myself for the first time at a show and in an instant gained an appreciation and a respect for it like I never have before with anything else. I didn't smoke enough to blast off, which I didn't really know the depth of the meaning of at the time, either, so I'm glad that I stayed on "level one" - is there a word for that? I became so connected with the people around me, the idea of "self" dissolved and I was enraptured in the bliss and comfort of being in tune with the One more than I had ever felt. I was so happy to dance and didn't think twice about it. I decided that night that humans are meant to dance - just like dogs walk, cats scratch, and mice chew, I suspected that humans had an inherent need to dance daily. But it didn't feel like a forced thing; it felt that you could adjust that day's dance to what it needed to be, so it could just be wiggling around in the car a bit. I had the best hug of my life with the person who shared the DMT with me. A minute or so after I smoked it, I felt an intense wave of gratitude and turned to my good friend and yelled, "I need to go hug him!" So I did, and it was wonderful. My friend who hadn't smoked saw the hug and told me later that it looked magical even from an outside perspective. The description of this experience could on and on, so I'll summarize it with the feelings it left me with: I felt refreshed and like I had gained clarity. Some things that seemed complex to me before were suddenly very simple. I felt less anxious. I felt grateful and loved. And now I feel like a curious child - but cautious!
I think that this experience found me exactly when it needed to - when I was most open to receive it, when I was in a very positive mindset, and already somewhat primed for it. Coincidentally (or not), prior to my New Year's night I had been doing research on ayahuasca. I was reading trip reports, learning about its chemical composition, looking up studies of its physiological effects on the brain and body, and about its cultural/spiritual history. I had learned already that the active was DMT and that no research had shown negative impact. None of this was consciously leading me toward trying extracted DMT - I was genuinely interested (still am) specifically in ayahuasca. But I think it absolutely primed me for the experience I was about to have.
DMT is an incredible substance. Of course you all know that - but I have to share how deeply I've realized that, though I know it will only continue to sink in. I feel wrong calling it a "drug" because it feels like there's so much negative connotation around the word; is the term generally used just "spice?"
My plan moving forward is to learn how to extract it myself. I'm taking my time with this and I don't feel any sense of rush or urgency. I feel that this is a new path that I've come to or that has been revealed to me, and though I'm excited, it seems like one that's to be traveled slowly and deliberately. As I learn about the process, the legal implications, and gather my materials, I'm going to continue researching about it and maybe get the book "DMT: The Spirit Molecule." It seems to be popular and widely liked - how do you all feel about it? I will also be getting deeper into yoga and meditation, another thing that I was already finding focus on prior to any DMT experience.
Some about myself and my spiritual history:
My favorite things are my dog, cooking and food, tea, snuggly soft things like fuzzy socks, outdoorsy activities of all kinds, and animals and nature. My first conscious, self-motivated spiritual effort came shortly after my mom passed away (I was 15; still dealing with that, positive about it but of course loss is a part of the human experience that I'm in the process now of fully awakening to) and in the aftermath I found myself seeking out guidance about life, death, and their relationship to each other. I found Buddhism first and found (find) huge comfort in it, the first time I resonated with a "religion." Since then, spirituality has remained a significant part of my life and takes up most of my free thought, but my spiritual inspiration has come in waves. My most recent wave is the one I've described, in part, here, and started with my desperation to "find a career" and growing dissatisfaction with life. I had to begun to feel very stuck, so I finally started taking strides to hopefully "unstick" - going to bed and waking up earlier, renewed commitment to yoga, lighter class load to have the chance to explore, etc. So, with all of this new intention, it felt very right to me when I experienced DMT - it felt like it came to me, not the other way around.
So there it is! Lengthy and super condensed at the same time. But that's okay - I'm sure I'll get to know many of you better over time and vice versa
I'm so happy to be here and I welcome any/all guidance, suggestions, thoughts, etc. that everybody has. I'll be poking around a lot to try to soak up as much of it as I can.
I'm not sure what lies ahead for me but I'm glad to have found a place to share this experience and coming ones. You all have a wonderful community here.