Hi all,
PRE-CONDITIONS(mind)Set: nervous, heart rate up. But happy and optimistic
(physical condition) Set: Laying on sofa, under duvet with blindfold ready.
Setting (location): Quiet dim room.
time of day: 20:30
recent drug use: 1 coffee in the morning.
last meal: 17:30 lamb chili with rice
PARTICIPANTGender: m
body weight: 75kg?
known sensitivities: none
history of use: I've lost count of the journeys, probably in the early double figures - but really the full "breakthrough" is probably just in single digits. prior to this just caffeine and alcohol.
BIOASSAYSubstance(s): DMT freebase on top of Mullein leaves
Dose(s): 35mg DMT, mullein unknown
Method of administration: Desktop vaporiser (VapirRise 2.0)
EFFECTSAdministration time: 20:35
Duration: a few minutes
First effects: Room turned to fractals
Peak: ??
Come down: ??
Baseline: ??
Intensity (overall): 3
Evaluation / notes:
OPTIONALPleasantness: 4
Unplesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 4
Background: It was my turn, my partner had gone first - but is yet to feel she has broken through. Only about 3 visits for her in total, having had trouble in inhaling in the past.
For me It feels like a journey where things are getting deeper and clearer each time, learning to understand the space, learning to remember it. My visit before this was beautiful, but I could remember little of importance and meaning - similarly with the previous visit. I had started to believe that things had leveled out and there was no more progress. Should I stop now? This visit is worth discussing as it answered that question.
The journey:One long inhale from the bag, 10 seconds and everything is fractalising nicely - pull on blindford for full darkness and lay back. Take a second pull on the bag for extra launch power, but I am already in the "waiting room", and I am told I don't need it - so I let it go a bit early and shuffle my mind into the space.
This waiting room is usually the same, and is not a room as such. So many reports I read evoke images or real places and people, like a movie - and I don't want to do that. The "waiting room" for me is initially geometric patterns with a strong center point. My forum avatar gives me the same feel as this. There is an overwhelming feeling of this center point focussing in on me, and that it is a presence doing that. Usually at this point I say "hello" in my mind, or something does.
For my first 3 visits this was probably as far as I would go, the waiting room would become more intricate (spinning shapes and sometimes faces), and the entity here is I think a different one to the one I see in deeper trips. The entity here is the "magician" in the past I have seen him dance, his "arms" are great geometric parts of the space which fold and spin. His face is scary if seen, I tend not to see or avoid looking at "faces". I find myself referring to this area as the dentist's, almost like I am examined to identify where I should be sent. I think the analogy to a dentist is the way the entity leans in and looks closely, except it is into my mind not my teeth.
Obviously for my first 3 trips I was not sent further.
All going well everything smoothly becomes hyperspace, I cannot recall the transition - but it is smooth. The first time I went here, I was thrust in angrily because I was pushing to go there - now it seems in the last few visits I am granted smooth access.
Every time I go here I think "Ah yes, this is what its like", on some of my first few visits this was "Ah, now I remember!". There is an aspect to this that cannot be held in my mind when I return.
Like my last visit, I am facing an entity - there is no human form to this, nothing organic, but if I focus on detail it is so real and solid but always shifting through textures shapes. These textures and shapes I am coming to realise are communication as well as form - this space, if I were to be pressed on it at the moment, is pure real abstract concepts and thought, but experienced as a full encompassing reality.
I've not seen elves, I've not seen great cities or landscapes - but flashes of meaning in the environment and words sent to my head. I seem to be developing a spoken language, of communication in there - but It is also it seems just garbled English - although meaning is transferred. Feels like speaking sideways. The words usually bounce in my head, but this time I said/thought some back and said thank you (which was very well received!)
But if you want descriptions of the visual, it was a large space which changed and morphed, it had the beauty of a wonderful sky - and it was communicated to me that this was their home, or where they always lived. This seems obvious, but it communicated that this is where they ALWAYS are, even when I am not, which to me is a significant point. The entity was a solid within this, there was a feeling that this solid was a long twisting shape expanding on forever, and now I think about it afterwards I can imagine how some may see this as a snake, I didn't think or feel this at the time. The combined beauty of the visual was stunning.
So, anyway - this time the entity had something important to explain. My partner has not felt she has broken through, and was somewhat disappointed, and I was beginning to wonder if there was further to go or a reason (other than the enjoyment of the experience) to return. A part of the entity opened up, or a part was brought over to me and an image was shown of what I immediately understood was me. It looked like a humanoid shape made of golden circuit lines, perhaps think of TRON like lines and circular end points. The message was that they were working on this, I was being adjusted, changed, improved and it was important. It was also explained (or should I say immediately understood) that the same had happening to my partner, even though she could not see it - and when we enter this space it/she/the entity has access to us to help us. The diagram then showed me overlayed by a lizard or crocodile made of fine green lines - I have no idea what this meant.
On the way out its always the same to me, the whole space sort of flattens and gets closer until it is like a sheet covered in 3d patterns and shapes - sort of pressing through the sheet if you can imagine that, but they are less pure, somewhat flacid and falling apart a little or like old movie film when it burns out if left on a single cell, and similarly light from the projector spills through. They get real jokey for this bit and the shapes and patterns sort of say goodbye in a really lovely way. Once an entity dived into this in an over-acted fake death. Once or twice I've had cheeky faces pop up and make me laugh.
Opening eyes everything is very trippy, rainbow colours on the walls, ceiling made of hexagonal tiles but this is all just our reality coming back into focus.
I speak as if it were fact, but indeed this is just the insane ramblings of my ego - but my inner self seems to be nodding.