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upwaysidedown
#1 Posted : 1/3/2016 11:32:10 AM

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Hi all,

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: nervous, heart rate up. But happy and optimistic
(physical condition) Set: Laying on sofa, under duvet with blindfold ready.
Setting (location): Quiet dim room.
time of day: 20:30
recent drug use: 1 coffee in the morning.
last meal: 17:30 lamb chili with rice

PARTICIPANT
Gender: m
body weight: 75kg?
known sensitivities: none
history of use: I've lost count of the journeys, probably in the early double figures - but really the full "breakthrough" is probably just in single digits. prior to this just caffeine and alcohol.

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): DMT freebase on top of Mullein leaves
Dose(s): 35mg DMT, mullein unknown
Method of administration: Desktop vaporiser (VapirRise 2.0)


EFFECTS
Administration time: 20:35
Duration: a few minutes
First effects: Room turned to fractals
Peak: ??
Come down: ??
Baseline: ??

Intensity (overall): 3

Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Unplesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 4

Background:
It was my turn, my partner had gone first - but is yet to feel she has broken through. Only about 3 visits for her in total, having had trouble in inhaling in the past.

For me It feels like a journey where things are getting deeper and clearer each time, learning to understand the space, learning to remember it. My visit before this was beautiful, but I could remember little of importance and meaning - similarly with the previous visit. I had started to believe that things had leveled out and there was no more progress. Should I stop now? This visit is worth discussing as it answered that question.


The journey:
One long inhale from the bag, 10 seconds and everything is fractalising nicely - pull on blindford for full darkness and lay back. Take a second pull on the bag for extra launch power, but I am already in the "waiting room", and I am told I don't need it - so I let it go a bit early and shuffle my mind into the space.

This waiting room is usually the same, and is not a room as such. So many reports I read evoke images or real places and people, like a movie - and I don't want to do that. The "waiting room" for me is initially geometric patterns with a strong center point. My forum avatar gives me the same feel as this. There is an overwhelming feeling of this center point focussing in on me, and that it is a presence doing that. Usually at this point I say "hello" in my mind, or something does.

For my first 3 visits this was probably as far as I would go, the waiting room would become more intricate (spinning shapes and sometimes faces), and the entity here is I think a different one to the one I see in deeper trips. The entity here is the "magician" in the past I have seen him dance, his "arms" are great geometric parts of the space which fold and spin. His face is scary if seen, I tend not to see or avoid looking at "faces". I find myself referring to this area as the dentist's, almost like I am examined to identify where I should be sent. I think the analogy to a dentist is the way the entity leans in and looks closely, except it is into my mind not my teeth.

Obviously for my first 3 trips I was not sent further.

All going well everything smoothly becomes hyperspace, I cannot recall the transition - but it is smooth. The first time I went here, I was thrust in angrily because I was pushing to go there - now it seems in the last few visits I am granted smooth access.

Every time I go here I think "Ah yes, this is what its like", on some of my first few visits this was "Ah, now I remember!". There is an aspect to this that cannot be held in my mind when I return.

Like my last visit, I am facing an entity - there is no human form to this, nothing organic, but if I focus on detail it is so real and solid but always shifting through textures shapes. These textures and shapes I am coming to realise are communication as well as form - this space, if I were to be pressed on it at the moment, is pure real abstract concepts and thought, but experienced as a full encompassing reality.

I've not seen elves, I've not seen great cities or landscapes - but flashes of meaning in the environment and words sent to my head. I seem to be developing a spoken language, of communication in there - but It is also it seems just garbled English - although meaning is transferred. Feels like speaking sideways. The words usually bounce in my head, but this time I said/thought some back and said thank you (which was very well received!)

But if you want descriptions of the visual, it was a large space which changed and morphed, it had the beauty of a wonderful sky - and it was communicated to me that this was their home, or where they always lived. This seems obvious, but it communicated that this is where they ALWAYS are, even when I am not, which to me is a significant point. The entity was a solid within this, there was a feeling that this solid was a long twisting shape expanding on forever, and now I think about it afterwards I can imagine how some may see this as a snake, I didn't think or feel this at the time. The combined beauty of the visual was stunning.

So, anyway - this time the entity had something important to explain. My partner has not felt she has broken through, and was somewhat disappointed, and I was beginning to wonder if there was further to go or a reason (other than the enjoyment of the experience) to return. A part of the entity opened up, or a part was brought over to me and an image was shown of what I immediately understood was me. It looked like a humanoid shape made of golden circuit lines, perhaps think of TRON like lines and circular end points. The message was that they were working on this, I was being adjusted, changed, improved and it was important. It was also explained (or should I say immediately understood) that the same had happening to my partner, even though she could not see it - and when we enter this space it/she/the entity has access to us to help us. The diagram then showed me overlayed by a lizard or crocodile made of fine green lines - I have no idea what this meant.

On the way out its always the same to me, the whole space sort of flattens and gets closer until it is like a sheet covered in 3d patterns and shapes - sort of pressing through the sheet if you can imagine that, but they are less pure, somewhat flacid and falling apart a little or like old movie film when it burns out if left on a single cell, and similarly light from the projector spills through. They get real jokey for this bit and the shapes and patterns sort of say goodbye in a really lovely way. Once an entity dived into this in an over-acted fake death. Once or twice I've had cheeky faces pop up and make me laugh.

Opening eyes everything is very trippy, rainbow colours on the walls, ceiling made of hexagonal tiles but this is all just our reality coming back into focus.
I speak as if it were fact, but indeed this is just the insane ramblings of my ego - but my inner self seems to be nodding.
 

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
 
third-eye-open
#2 Posted : 1/3/2016 3:15:50 PM

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That was a good read, I really enjoyed it. Thank for sharing that experience. I'm always saying "Oh. Yeah this is what its like." I can't help it.

Hyperspace is textured thought. Once, I quite literally had an entire conversation with my self.
"Realty is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -Lily Tomlin

The cosmos is viewed as a spontaneous act of ongoing creation arising out of a womb-like emptiness with unlimited potential.
 
Jees
#3 Posted : 1/3/2016 4:00:32 PM

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Love the positive vibes emanating from the report and trip.
 
upwaysidedown
#4 Posted : 1/4/2016 1:02:47 PM

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third-eye-open wrote:
That was a good read, I really enjoyed it. Thank for sharing that experience. I'm always saying "Oh. Yeah this is what its like." I can't help it.

Hyperspace is textured thought. Once, I quite literally had an entire conversation with my self.


Glad that I can contribute, I have benefited a lot from reading all of the reports and advice on here prior to becoming a member, and prior to my initiation into hyperspace. Its really good to know others experience some things the same way. The me before DMT would probably not of seen that as relevant or important, the me afterwards really loves that this community exists.

Jees wrote:
Love the positive vibes emanating from the report and trip.


Thank you, I guess I captured the feeling. I do worry about the darkness around the corner, and I have had one hyperslap already - but I am hoping that where I am right now is something I can maintain. I have trust that nothing there means me harm, and that nothing can harm me that is not already harming me. So I give in fully when I enter, and if/when I face the darkness in me I will know it is for the best and try and face it with that same openness. I hope this is what keeps it positive, but the gut wrenching fear before a flight is tangible and usually involves at least one trip to the toilet and some good calming techniques.
I speak as if it were fact, but indeed this is just the insane ramblings of my ego - but my inner self seems to be nodding.
 
Jees
#5 Posted : 1/4/2016 2:34:05 PM

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upwaysidedown wrote:
... and if/when I face the darkness in me I will know it is for the best and try and face it with that same openness...
This is the positive vibes I noticed and honored Love .
What helps (for me) is to take it all not too personal individual dualistic wise. To see it more as observing what it all is as a whole, to witness the components that simply are and do their thing.
That takes weight from the "battle" between the components (to address your word "harm" ) toward a more commonly dance of them all, and that the mere you are not one of those components (no isolated part) but all of them. It is seen trough/out of one looking glass (one observation station) that is the personal you.

So I agree with your point
Quote:
and that nothing can harm me that is not already harming me.
but I tend mold it differently a bit. Like: "you" are not a specific target from "something else", but "you" and the "something else" are actually the same thing that dances with itself. And to reserve the personal for observation facility point only.

No lecturing, just offering Pleased
 
upwaysidedown
#6 Posted : 1/5/2016 12:55:22 PM

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Jees wrote:
but I tend mold it differently a bit. Like: "you" are not a specific target from "something else", but "you" and the "something else" are actually the same thing that dances with itself. And to reserve the personal for observation facility point only.

No lecturing, just offering Pleased


I think I mostly understand that and agree. Its one to keep telling yourself, whilst your lizard brain holds on to there being a "you" and all those flight/fight and fear defense reflexes even when your intellect knows it is all silly.

It brings up a question though: when I go deep - there kind of really is no me except for a stream of observational awareness. I note others experience reports talk about them touching things, moving or seeing their body. Do you think this is a result of psychological attitude to the experience (e.g my natural attitude is very passive), or to do with a level of depth - or is the reporting of this perhaps analogous rather than literal?

I did start talking out loud and waving my arms about during a trip once, only to be told to stop it (by the magician) as it was distracting - and indeed laying back and almost sleeping into it seems to lead me to a real deep full immersion, and conversely external sounds or physical sensations pull me out of it.

Actually this post is working out like a nice psychotherapy session where I realise stuff by talking about it: I do cling to the experience like it is a fragile jewel, with fear that any small disturbance will fracture it - this probably makes me accentuate my passive involvement.

To be clear, this is not something I am yearning for (I'm very happy taking the experience as it is and not try to force anything, especially as it is slowly evolving on its own) - but this is general curiosity as to something I see as a difference between some reports, and also to understand what the more experienced members of this forum think.
I speak as if it were fact, but indeed this is just the insane ramblings of my ego - but my inner self seems to be nodding.
 
Jees
#7 Posted : 1/5/2016 3:07:29 PM

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It's very hard to interpret others' reports and why or how they convey their experiences in a particular way. When I read them then I just tend to seek for that particular word or key element that resonates with me, that helps me.

I too am the passive type experiencer Wink
Being still, in silence ....
Then after the peak with still intensity active, some dynamics feels correct to happen.
Who knows that will change.

Fear:
I'm not concerned that fear would break the "fragile jewel" (nice wording, thanks Pleased ) as in the best case I see it but it cannot actually dominate the flow anymore, being able to laugh lovingly about it's jesting nature. But I do feel that it can eat (like a consumer) potentially the energy that is about. The moment I can truly laugh about its presence (fear) is the moment when it becomes docile in its hunger to compromise the value of the happening. So for me it does not have to be banned out desperately, I also don't call it silly, it is an element like all others, it can eventually become a funny ornament of the whole, it's certainly free to leave the stage on its own terms once it's ego is disclosed. (It's not a particular approach for fear specifically, but treating quite everything in same way). These kind of lessons I like to take back with me in the general life.

Love the dialogue Love
 
Intezam
#8 Posted : 1/6/2016 9:18:18 AM

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upwaysidedown wrote:
.... also it seems just garbled English - although meaning is transferred....

Smile They was teaching yous the langruish of the birdppl .....Thumbs up (....some of which are into singing 'stuff' into existance too.....)
 
upwaysidedown
#9 Posted : 1/6/2016 11:56:13 AM

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Intezam wrote:
Smile They was teaching yous the langruish of the birdppl .....Thumbs up (....some of which are into singing 'stuff' into existance too.....)


For such a subjective experience as this, it is so lovely to feel that its also shared between us. It feels real, looks real and we find similar things. How is this not a reality, except that we seem not to find each other there - but then, if we are such passive seeds there surrounded by infinite entities, how would we?

"cara malang we" they told me, which Google translates differently to a friend who knows Indonesian, sounds like you may know of this Intezam? Not sure what the "we" is about, that doesn't seem to translate, but they were careful in giving it to me letter by letter.



This is not what I see, but the closest I have seen in an image. The texture detail in the top area really triggers memories along with the subtlety of colour and lighting. I need to play with mandelbulb I think! I've seen some videos of it where the fractals mutate and move, VERY interesting!
I speak as if it were fact, but indeed this is just the insane ramblings of my ego - but my inner self seems to be nodding.
 
Intezam
#10 Posted : 1/6/2016 5:13:46 PM

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Well, intezam is a Malang Wink
It's: Karan malang wey! -- ..they (should) do the malang (thingy) = hop hop hop
* not the town in Indonesia
** a mast malang is an unkempt kind of faqeer sometimes associated with bhang and datura and cemetaries & charnel grounds
 
Jees
#11 Posted : 1/6/2016 5:25:46 PM

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Intezam wrote:
...It's: Karan malang wey!...

"They cause gender" is googles best shot
Wut?
 
Intezam
#12 Posted : 1/6/2016 5:46:33 PM

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Jees if you do not use shahmukhi/gurmukhi for these terms, google will confuse the lingo with another...Laughing
 
upwaysidedown
#13 Posted : 1/7/2016 11:23:51 AM

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Intezam wrote:
Well, intezam is a Malang Wink
It's: Karan malang wey! -- ..they (should) do the malang (thingy) = hop hop hop
* not the town in Indonesia
** a mast malang is an unkempt kind of faqeer sometimes associated with bhang and datura and cemetaries & charnel grounds


Intezam, you confuse me more than spice does! Smile

Are you actually an entity who has broken through into this reality?

Your translation is interesting, as I had one visit where they all sang "This is what we do and we do it like this!" over and over and a long row of them spun those geometric shapes like they were all playing big drums. So I like that better than the Javanese interpretation of "Lame method", or "how unfortunate" as Google works it out.
I speak as if it were fact, but indeed this is just the insane ramblings of my ego - but my inner self seems to be nodding.
 
locojuiceman
#14 Posted : 1/11/2016 1:28:24 AM

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You know, I have also had the impression that 'they' work on us ...
And I too , also struggle for the right words, to describe the dmt experiences. The words are lacking such to the degree that not even the most elaborate and descriptive 'words' are accurate nor is it the sheer number of words used that can be of service in describing a DMT experience either...
From being 'downloaded' with more information than I could handle [[ Put it this way - Be Careful what you ask for ..I asked what the meaning of Life was and what I got was that we are but just a teeny, tiny fraction of a fraction ...we are like atoms, quarks even, in a perfect, rotating galaxy among other perfectly rotating galaxies making up a more than amazing Universe that is among countless Other Universes..everything going just as they should .... I was shown what I can only describe as 'The Fabric of Time and Space' but to try and describe what I was really shown, eludes my vocabulary ]]
From being floated into white room after white room, with 'caterpillars' waving little flags they had in each of their thousand hands, riding little 'airboards', all while a gentle 'entity' is checking the dials in my mind. When the dial was turned up, I formed a smile, when it was turned down, my smile would shrink ..then the dial was CRANKED up and my smile was so broad it hurt my cheeks yet I could not, did not, want to stop, lol!
From seeing a many headed 'eagle' magnificent gold, purple, blue, brown.. being of a metallic sheen .. with a little musical tune it appeared and the music sounded so familiar and triggered a 'memory' of long, long ago that I almost...allllmosssst ... felt as if I were about to remember the most important thing that I'd forgotten long ago .. all the while it was projecting 'Love' towards me that made me feel as Happy as a Kid again, to where I even wept with happiness...
To being taken to the very 'edge' of 'reality'? Time? Space? I'm not sure but I was told that if I went any further I could not go back 'home' and though the 'entity' was perfectly loving and understanding about me wanting to stay there with 'them', it felt as if 'she' were just making me aware of my choice to stay or go back home....and, though I would have liked to 'stay', I knew it wasn't my time, the 'Entity' assured me I made the right 'choice' and gently placed me back on the couch ....
Yet for all the descriptions, all the words and allegories and analogy I can muster, doesn't even come close to describing the actual experiences..
So, while I do wish the transfer of experience were as simple as vocal communication, I also know that there is nothing like 'Experience'. We can describe swimming in the Ocean all we want to a midwestern cowboy but until that cowboy jumps in the Ocean and takes a swim himself, all he has to go by is our 'Words'.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It triggered a lot of parallels in my own subjective experiences ...
I truly think the World would be far far different, far more chaotic, depressive and materialistic, if we were not blessed with the many Entheogens that pepper Our Planet.
I don't ever want to see these sacraments get wiped out or becoming scarce. Thats why , while I do think the most of Mankind could benefit from there uses, on the other hand, with the way materialism, greed, hate and all of those negatives, have seeped into Our Collective Consciousness, that many people who don't quite understand the magnitude of wondrous benefit, Spiritually, Mentally and even Physically, that Entheogens can have for Us and since many are motivated by nothing more than 'greed', well ..
Put it this way, it only takes one jerk to ruin it for the rest of us
So, turning people on to the experience is no small matter. Something not to be taken lightly or used for sheer 'recreation' ... 'recreation' got it in the trouble it's in now..
No, these entheogens need to be respected and I found that whenever I would try to use it as an escape or 'recreation', instead of for the Sacrament it truly is..that I'd have a very serious 'chastising' awaiting me upon arrival to the 'Other Side'.
But when I go into it with respect and intention, I may not get the 'answer' I THOUGHT I was looking for but I at least would be Welcomed, Loved, Accepted and given something Wonderful, cognitive or not, to bring back 'Home' with me.

Everything I say here happened in My own Imagination. The more fantastic it sounds, the more you can count on it being in the realm of Dreams,
 
â—‹
#15 Posted : 1/11/2016 10:41:18 AM
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upwaysidedown wrote:




This is not what I see, but the closest I have seen in an image. The texture detail in the top area really triggers memories along with the subtlety of colour and lighting. I need to play with mandelbulb I think! I've seen some videos of it where the fractals mutate and move, VERY interesting!


Indeed. The top section of this picture is a very nice representation of the essence of the experience (at least the early stages of the dmt experience) imo. The texture and softness of color and lighting, the ambient gradient of hyper-polished texture/surfacing and flowous design.
 
 
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