I have long been aware of the DMT nexus community, but haven't been ready to join until now. I have crossed the lines between entheogenic, psychonautical, and recreational use of multiple drugs in my time. I cannot say why, but I have always been interested in the study of the complex interactions of humans and the plants and drugs we use, especially entheogenic and shamanic use.
It all started with a joint and a long spiritual experience of the interconnectedness of everything, and my direct connection to the cosmos. That was fourteen years ago...and since I have sampled many enlightening substances, and a myriad of others that I certainly learned from, but I personally did not find entheogenic.
The drugs which I studied via ingestion include: cannabis, opium, San Pedro, psilocybin mushrooms, fly agaric mushrooms, Saturday inoxia, alcohol, kava, ephedra, morning glory seeds, Dextromethorphan, phencycladine, ketamine, barbiturates, benzodiazepines, LSD, blue lotus, diviners sage, morphine, codeine, diacetyl morphine, nutmeg, ecstasy, cocaine, nitrous, diethyl ether, and I'm sure many I'm forgetting.
These substances changed my life in many ways, including setting me on a spiritual journey I am still on. I have gratefully learned many lessons from the chemical teachers, including some very difficult ones. The true impermanence of everything, how to accept past traumas and present pain, how to let go and embrace death, to consciously overcome fear, and even the purpose of human existence (this I consider a personal truth, not ULTIMATE truth).
Of all the lessons I've learned, three stand out to me as most significant. The first lesson was one in power. Through using teacher chemicals I learned quickly that I wielded a great deal more psychic power than I thought, and also that said power does absolutely not make me any less insignificant in the face of the infinite universe. Second was the realization that traditional "enlightenment" (such as that taught in Buddhism) did not have to be my ultimate goal. I had been striving toward a more buddhalike life, to transcend my humanity. I learned that in rejecting Buddhist teachings (don't harm living things, don't engage in frivolous sex, don't take intoxicants, don't eat meat, don't lie) I was giving up a path of transcendence, but what I gained was my humanity. In this incarnation I am a human, presumably for a reason. That being so, I chose to embrace my membership in this marvelous and terrifying species. I eat meat because I am an omnivore, and rather high on the food chain at present. I kill because I like my meat fresh. I engage in sexual exploits because my instincts drive me to, it feels good, and I like the closeness. I take intoxicant for many reasons, to kill pain, to kill boredom, or as part of a ritual. By embracing my natural inclinations I feel more in tune with the chaotic order of my world.
Third and most significant was a long hard trip on dissiciatives and acid. I asked the universe to reveal to me the reason for existence. The answer came in the form of blindness in which I became lost in a dangerous forest area alone. The blindness subsided and was replaced by perfect night vision when in hysterical prayer I cried out "I love you." The Universe then spoke to me in a mighty, yet silent voice, telling me that the reason, the meaning behind everything is love. Love for another human, love for a dog, or a forest, or a book, or a food or a drug or anything. To feel love, and to give love above all else.