Dear Trip sitter(s),
Let me state some things about what you’re getting yourself into:
This is about me. It’s like, it’s my birthday, and I’m turning zero. For three days. This has the solemnity and spiritual power of a birth or a death. And I will be helpless through much of it, like a newborn. I may need you to help me to the bathroom. Or make me a cup of tepid water. Or offer me melon if I seem low energy.
This is about me. I am going through a dangerous process, and deserve care. Know that by helping me, though, you are indirectly helping yourself and the world.
Worst case scenarios:
You may have to clean up my vomit.
You may have to save me from an incoherent panic attack or five.
You may have to assist me or send me good vibes if I am choking on vomit. I have never had an issue with that before, but who knows. I’ve just read about difficulties in that area with some people.
Iboga affects the heart. It can be taxing. However, I don’t think this will be a problem. I’ve had some occasional heart palpitations recently, but they have been due to being overly sedentary, aka *not* expending energy. I think my body is looking for a good work project. In May I had my heart/chest/cardio-system thoroughly checked out by doctors because I was experiencing some anxiety-induced chest discomfort/panic. They found absolutely nothing wrong. The only thing slightly abnormal is a slightly elevated heart rate. They said it wasn’t dangerous.
Iboga lowers heart rate. I think I should be fine.
At no point will I be violent or self-destructive. But I will be going through some hard shit and might need help. During my first flood 4.5 years ago, I was having difficulty surrendering to the experience, and I called out to my sitter. He said, “Remember your intentions.” Which was so helpful.
Who knows. It might be a peaceful process—I lay down for a while, need help to the bathroom a couple times, vomit into a bucket, meditate and dance and be fine. But, like life, Iboga trips are not always easy.
Music is an integral part of the experience. There will probably be some points where I will be listening to music—probably African, and probably percussive. Perhaps loud. You must be willing to put up with this—even if it is 4 am. Even if you need sleep and are sick and weary yourself. Sorry. My need for peace when I am journeying on the couch equals my need for allowance of a “fuck shit up (in a positive way)” vibe if/when it comes around.
I may drum, dance, play the piano, sing, whatever. Give me space when this is happening. Or, in the small probability that you’re really digging the vibe, feel free to join in.
A little about the state I’ll be in:
If you’ve ever taken MDMA… there are some similarities, in the sense that I will be totally accepting of everything around me—like a baby.
My short term memory will likely be gone or close to gone. My long-term memory, however, will be super sharp.
I’ll be in my own world.
If there is one of you, you’ll probably be sleeping/staying/setting up your stuff in my bedroom. I won’t spend too much time there—if I do, I’ll go there to sleep. No need to give me space there. The bedroom is your safe space.
The couch will be my initial journeying spot. I’ll set up some water and a puke-bucket there. I’ll probably be there/in that space for the first 12 hours or so.
I have a terribly osteo-arthritic right ankle. This means that my walking/locomotion may be especially wonky during the trip. Just be aware of that. My wrists and hands are also pretty darn arthritic, so keep that in mind.
Do not let me try to drive. I highly doubt this will happen, but just in case…
Don’t let me eat. Maybe some melon or a pear. But seriously, nothing heavier than that.
In the first 24 hours of the experience, if I go to the computer and stay there to use the internet, simply ask me why. I should stay AWAY from the internet during experience, but especially the first 24 hours. I may go to the computer a couple times to turn on/turn off/change the music, but that should be the computer’s only function during the trip.
During the second day, aka hours 24 through 48, I may experience occasional increases in body heat. I may need a cool shower, or want to go dip in a stream. You can ask me during that time if that’s something I feel up to—it might slip my mind in the moment. If we’re all feeling up to it, you can drive me to a friend’s house to bathe in the stream by their house. Call them up first. I’ll give you the number beforehand. If that’s too much, just tell me to take a shower and that should be fine.
After I have purged, or after some kind of shift from the first part of the experience to the second part, I may experience some jittery, surging energy. It may not be outwardly visible, but if I seem restless, a cup of strong peppermint tea should do the trick.
So, you’re in for an adventure. I mean, I’ll be going through the brunt of the adventure, but you might feel it, too. Dare I say at some points it might feel like a party. But don’t bank on it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are doing me an favor of invaluable, immeasurable proportions. It is a generous, gesture of support for my life.
I hope you have fun.
Thank you,
RhythmSpring
From the unspoken
Grows the once broken