Hello everybody! My name is Kay, I am 20 years old, living in the USA. I have had quite a few experiences with a variety of entheogens, and I am now on the hunt for discussion with like-minded people! I guess I will start off with my experience with spice! I have only smoked DMT once before, but I am planning to take the journey again here soon!
I wish I could tell you what the dosage was, but I can't. Not too much, but probably a bit much for someone my size (I weigh approximately 115lbs, and am 5'3"
. I had a friend drop the brown wax shards into the pipe, and before I had even clear the pipe, everything was already rapidly coming undone. The best way I can describe the synthesia is that the breathy, meltiness of the world when you trip, and the undone feeling you get the harder you trip, hit it's maximum capacity and everything, the universe (therefore myself included) completely unwound into itself. The words inside my head began to warp, stretch, and distort until they were beyond my comprehension. ("Weird..Weird is weeeeeird, wieiriejsid, wiiiiiieiieeieiieiieirddddrddidd"
I was then thrown into a loop that lasted the rest of the trip. The loop was that of the last image I saw before blacking out. I was looking at my boyfriend and I's friends who were standing in front of us (we were sitting on the couch). I turned my head from them to the corner of the room, down to my leg which I then rubbed, then I leaned back onto my boyfriend and saw his face, then the loop would start over. Mind you, all of my senses were one at this point, and I could feel the weight of every piece of matter in the room. Then I felt all matter, and I came to the realization that I was the universe, and in turn, the universe was also me. I felt the circular pull of what is everything, and I was terrified. I felt as though I was being woken up, and I was realizing that nothing is what it seems to be. These feelings of complete confusion and smallness were the most horrific feelings I can fathom, then as the loop would go one to the next image (the corner of the room), alien voices began speaking to me.
I heard these voices in the beginning of the loop, but they were scary and alien. They sounded like a language I should be able to understand, but just couldn't (turns out it was our friends talking). As I looked at the corner of the room, the voices became easier for me to understand. "Oh, I know, it can be really scary when you first realize it", "Don't panic, you must remember to relax, that is all, relax". As these voices spoke to me, I would look down at my legs, and rub them. Nothing felt like it should, and I couldn't distinguish my body from anything else at this point. A realization began to overcome me, and I felt my body release all of the built up energy from the tension I experience from fear, and I felt my body disperse into everything. I understood my tiny, momentous place in this universe, and I accepted it. Then the loop would start over. I experienced this loop for what seemed like an entire eternity (No, I am not exaggerating, I was convinced that the state I was in was reality, and I lost sight of my own reality). I came out of it around a minute after I blacked out. It has been the most significant experience of my life, and I am now in a place where I feel prepared to explore myself and my perception again!
For a long while after this trip, I experienced a sense of disassociation, and alienation. I have dosed with LSD several times since then, which I feel has helped substantially. Personally, I am very interested in being a part of the generation that paved the way for psychedelic drug use to further our race. I find it very difficult to speak with average people intimately because they can not relate to my perception, and I would really love to find like minded people to have conversation with! Well this is all for now, much love <3